# Malls are Boring! Fix it Here! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 6, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903 "2003-04-06T19:34:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903/41 "2003-04-07T20:41:03Z")
A store that _should_ exist: “The Wood Shop” You pay, sign the insurance forms, and get to use a completely-equipped wood shop for your own projects. There’s classes by the Masters, self-study training materials, all the latest tools, plenty of reference materials, and a glassed-in lounge for your SO(s). And a trained first-aider on the presmises. All the facilities of of techncial college, without someone else’s pasky curriculum to get in the way. The Wood Shop is part of a conglomerate, whose other franchises include: “The Metal Shop” “The Electronics Shop” (just down the corridor from Radio Shack) “The Plastics Shop” “The Auto Shop” (next to Napa Valley Auto Parts) and “The Ceramics Shop” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903/42 "2003-04-07T21:09:12Z")
I LIKE the shop idea. I’d love to learn how to do some stuff (like work on my car, etc.) by taking some classes, rather than just going in with a wrench and a prayer. Also, each mall must have AT LEAST ONE good arcade, which means all fairly new games, all of which are in good working order, and none of which require obnoxious tokens. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903/43 "2003-04-07T21:31:11Z")
I always thought that the thing that would prevent “The \ Shop” frpom coming into being is insurance and liability. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903/44 "2003-04-07T21:39:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cosmopolitan \* > **A small, cozy lingerie shop - corsets, camisoles, bras, panties, bedroom wear, etc. It is run by an elderly Italian woman who can size you up perfectly just by looking at you, though she takes the time to fit you. The dressing rooms are spacious, with kind lighting and antique mirrors** …whose one-way glass looks out on the main corridor of the mall. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903/45 "2003-04-08T02:36:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BrotherCadfael \* > \*\*I want Diagon Alley and Knockturn Street \*\* I second that! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903/46 "2003-04-08T02:48:02Z")
**The only real way to make malls more interesting is to make all of us 17 year olds again, but with alot of money.** Which is probably the single best idea in the thread. Don’t know how we’d explain it to the kids, though. “Hey, we’re 17 again, doofus! Deal!” ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903/47 "2003-04-08T03:21:38Z")
**Bosda** , I like the Lava Lamp! The architecture has to be Deco for sure, preferably the Streamline look instead of Batman Gothic, for my taste. **Lola** , the cupcake shop is a bit too restrictive, I think. How about Granny’s Bakery, staffed by genuine grannies brought in from all over for a day or two at a time, making their own secret family recipes? You’ll never know what kinds of stuff will be there the next time you go in. We’ll put **welby** ’s Cholesterol Cafe next door, and staff that kitchen with grannies too. Finally, **GMRyujin** , the arcade certainly needs current games, but should also have a room full of the classics: original PacMan, Centipede, even some C64s and Ataris with some of their old games. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903/48 "2003-04-08T04:31:35Z")
Oh, yea, it’s not an arcade without a vintage Pac-Man machines, I’m just against these crappy arcades with second-rate, five year old games that cost a buck in useless tokens to play. ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903/49 "2003-04-08T11:40:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Barbarian \* > \*\*I also want to see swooping _rams_ for motorized wheelchair users only. \*\* Maybe not the best idea… ((((Fade to mall, man in a wheelchair talking to his wife))) “Gosh honey, what a great mall, and plenty of handicapped parking too!” “Yes, dear, this is a great mall. Where to first? The wood shop or the cholesterol cafe?” “Well, I think we should…” Ram swoops down, crashes into the man. The stunned man stares into the ram’s bloodshot eyes. GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! AHHHH! _baaaaaaaah!_ ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903/50 "2003-04-08T14:06:26Z")
There has to be a food court, but do the architecture so that you can actually hear the person you’re talking with. Since today’s column is on Sherlock Holmes, I’ll add an idea from the stories: A club much like Mycroft Holmes’s club. A quiet place where members can sit down in easy chairs, and the staff brings them their favorites from the book store, coffee shop, and candy stand. ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903/51 "2003-04-08T15:18:09Z")
The Garage Sale store, where you can rent space to have your garage sale without setting up at dawn in the rain. You can sell one thing or have an estate sale, for an hour or 2 days. You can also give your stuff to the staff and have them sell it for you, for a fee. You can shop one place and see all the garage sales. Once a month there is an auction and an antiques expert comes in to tell people if their stuff is worth anything. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903/52 "2003-04-08T16:52:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by welby \* > \*\*Ram swoops down, crashes into the man. The stunned man stares into the ram’s bloodshot eyes. > > GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! AHHHH! > > _baaaaaaaah!_ \*\* No no no! I was thinking _battering_ rams. Hordes of crippled seniors pretending they’re roman trireme captains as they roll around the corridors. But I guess that’ll happen when sheep fly… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903/53 "2003-04-08T20:04:19Z")
"baaahhh! _THUD_ Notice how these sheep do not so much ‘fly’ as ‘plummet’…" ---
**Author:** ![Quantum\_Butterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e79b87/32.png) [@Quantum\_Butterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quantum_Butterfly)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903/54 "2003-04-08T20:53:04Z")
**LurkMeister** , I want to go to your bookstore! Used bookstores rock my socks. There’s one in my town where the owner/proprietress also offers harp playing and lessons. Occasionally she’ll play a song or two for the customers, which is really great. The Doper Mall should also have a coffee place, a locally owned operation (NOT Starbucks) with friendly staff who can and will make anything coffee your heart desires, lots of cushy armchairs, and a stage where good local musicians play evenings. Oh, and chess boards. With all the pieces. A scientific supply store would also be great. Need a 50 mL graduated cylinder? 300 g oxalic acid? Video microscope? They’ve got it all! And they have highly knowledgeable staff who can advise you on your purchases. (Yes, I am a geek. I enjoy geekdom!) ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903/55 "2003-04-08T21:16:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GMRyujin \* > \*\*I’ve got another one: An Actual-Sized Person Clothing Store. Because I don’t shop for clothes anymore because no one except Wal-Mart has my bloody size. Oh, yea, Penney’s has size 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, and 40, but not a thing above that. \*\* I’ve bought a couple pairs of 44×32 slacks from Target and let the cuffs down. I’m wearing one of them right now. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903/56 "2003-04-08T21:30:43Z")
Target, eh? Hafta consider that. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903/57 "2003-04-08T22:26:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Velma \* > **The Garage Sale store** This is actually a pretty good idea. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malls-are-boring-fix-it-here/166903.md?page=2)