# Mamas, don't follow your babies into the men's room **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 13, 2009, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294 "2009-08-13T15:32:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/41 "2009-08-13T19:12:10Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > You haven’t seen the men’s rooms here. Not only are there toilet paper ass-gaskets but we also have someone hanging strips of toilet paper from the stall walls, presumably to keep anyone from peeking between the cracks. Maybe they’re just trying to decorate. Those might be curtains. You know, turning the restroom into a Manadu. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/42 "2009-08-13T19:20:58Z")
Someone still needs to tell me how shit gets on the wall. How does one drop a deuce on the _wall_? Or are people smearing feces with their hands? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/43 "2009-08-13T19:29:54Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I dislike the stranger-danger paranoia myself, it is excessive and seemingly getting worse. That’s because kids who were raised with it are now old enough to procreate and pass on the hysteria gene. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/44 "2009-08-13T19:35:02Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Someone still needs to tell me how shit gets on the wall. How does one drop a deuce on the _wall_? Or are people smearing feces with their hands? Classic thread featuring the [Prehensile Rectum](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=80957). ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/45 "2009-08-13T19:37:01Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Or are people smearing feces with their hands? This isn’t out of the question. There was at least one fingerpainter in the homeless shelter I stayed at for a while. Then there’s a time I had diarrhea and accidentally sprayed the wall behind the toilet in a Toys R Us. I was out shopping and it was the only place nearby that I knew had public toilets. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/46 "2009-08-13T19:49:59Z")
> [@SmashTheState](#): > > Gender-segregated bathrooms are stupid and archaic. Not to mention sexist, since given equal space, more men can be “served” than women at any given time, thanks to urinals. The time has long since passed for unisex bathrooms. And while we’re at it, naked bodies may by “sinful,” but I don’t give a flying fuck about what you consider to be a sin. People should be entitled to dress (or undress) any way they please within the bounds of reasonable hygeine. They have large unisex bathrooms in some nightclubs in Boston or at least they did ten years ago when I last checked. It seemed to work out just fine. I was disappointed that I never got molested by a member of the opposite sex but we were all piss drunk at the time. It probably wouldn’t work out as well in corporate America. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/47 "2009-08-13T19:51:48Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > At what age do you think it will be safe to let him wait outside the door for you or go take a piss by himself? Will it be safe when he’s 9? 11? 13? > There is no epidemic of little boys getting molested in men’s rooms. Oh, I dunno. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. I’m more worried about him hanging around by himself in Penn Station than I am about him going to the mens’ room by himself. And to tell you the truth, that fear is largely fear that somebody is gonna call DYFS on me for leaving him alone. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/48 "2009-08-13T19:56:29Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > You haven’t seen the men’s rooms here. Not only are there toilet paper ass-gaskets but we also have someone hanging strips of toilet paper from the stall walls, presumably to keep anyone from peeking between the cracks. Is “here” the Congressional washroom? Then I can see it. _rimshot_ I’ve never seen a men’s restroom with a couch. Nuff said. As for ass gaskets, every bathroom in California has them. It’s either state law or fiercely observed custom. You dig a pit in the woods, and a dispenser springs up with them. No Californian tush ever has to touch a seat. I don’t know why we don’t live to a thousand here with that kind of protection. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/49 "2009-08-13T20:01:21Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > They have large unisex bathrooms in some nightclubs in Boston or at least they did ten years ago when I last checked. It seemed to work out just fine. I was disappointed that I never got molested by a member of the opposite sex but we were all piss drunk at the time. It probably wouldn’t work out as well in corporate America. Heh, the main reason for unisex bathrooms in clubs seems to be to allow people of different sexes to snort coke together. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![SmashTheState](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@SmashTheState](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmashTheState)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/50 "2009-08-13T20:02:26Z")
I am a huge fan of Robert Mapplethorpe. This discussion puts me in mind of one of his more infamous photographs. It depicts a little girl lifting her skirt to show her genitals. People howled for blood, screaming “pedo” and “think of the children.” It’s clear in the picture that the little girl is totally innocent. She doesn’t know that her genitals are “bad” or “dirty.” And Robert Mapplethorpe was just as queer as Old Dad’s hatband, so _he_ wasn’t getting off on it. So if the subject and the photographer weren’t making the picture sexual, who was? The viewer, of course. And that was Mapplethorpe’s point. These moral busybodies live in constant terror of other people’s sexual thoughts and deeds because they fear their **own**. When Soccer Mom hovers outside the bathroom door, convinced that every man passing by wants nothing more than to scrunch his dirty member into Little Timmy’s virginal ass flower, what she’s really frightened of is her own repressed sexuality. Maybe _she_ needs to be watched around children. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/51 "2009-08-13T20:15:24Z")
> [@SmashTheState](#): > > When Soccer Mom hovers outside the bathroom door, convinced that every man passing by wants nothing more than to scrunch his dirty member into Little Timmy’s virginal ass flower, what she’s really frightened of is her own repressed sexuality. Maybe _she_ needs to be watched around children. See, now \*that’s \*how you bring the crazy. In case you were wondering. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/52 "2009-08-13T20:18:27Z")
Now that you mention it, guys like **SmashTheState** are the reason I don’t want to let my kid hang out in Penn Station alone. Not because he’s a kidnapper or child molestor, but because I’d probably come out of the bathroom to find him haranguing my 7-year-old about sexism, Robert Mapplethorpe, and the Ottawa Panhandler’s Union. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/53 "2009-08-13T20:18:27Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > As for ass gaskets, every bathroom in California has them. It’s either state law or fiercely observed custom. You dig a pit in the woods, and a dispenser springs up with them. No Californian tush ever has to touch a seat. I don’t know why we don’t live to a thousand here with that kind of protection. They also cause ass cancer with prolonged exposure, so your overall expected lifespan self adjusts. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/54 "2009-08-13T20:18:49Z")
> [@SmashTheState](#): > > I am a huge fan of Robert Mapplethorpe. This discussion puts me in mind of one of his more infamous photographs. It depicts a little girl lifting her skirt to show her genitals. People howled for blood, screaming “pedo” and “think of the children.” It’s clear in the picture that the little girl is totally innocent. She doesn’t know that her genitals are “bad” or “dirty.” And Robert Mapplethorpe was just as queer as Old Dad’s hatband, so _he_ wasn’t getting off on it. So if the subject and the photographer weren’t making the picture sexual, who was? > > The viewer, of course. > > And that was Mapplethorpe’s point. It’s a remarkably callow point. A person who is not themselves a pedophile may nontheless produce a product that deliberately panders to pedophilia, purely for shock or controversy value. Whether or not it is “innocent” surely depends on the content and context of the work, not on the alleged perversion of the viewer - an artist famous for a pic of stuffing a bullwhip up his rectum producing a pic of a girl exposing herself isn’t the same in _context_ as daddy taking a pic of little Jinny in the bath, and pretending that it is is simply - well, simple-minded. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/55 "2009-08-13T20:21:29Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > At what age do you think it will be safe to let him wait outside the door for you or go take a piss by himself? Will it be safe when he’s 9? 11? 13? > > I have three daughters. I think of myself as borderline over protective. My oldest is 9, but I’m not going to bring a 9-year-old girl into a men’s room with me. After about age 4 or 5, they can wait outside the door while I’m pissing or go into the ladies’ room by themselves. Nothing is going to happen. There is no epidemic of little boys getting molested in men’s rooms. > > I think I’d like to hang outside the ladies’ room the mext time my daughters are in there and scream out hysterical warnings every time a woman walks in. > > “DADDY’S RIGHT OUTSIDE, SWEETY!! EVERYTHING’S OK.” Oh, I wish. The “pedophile around every corner” crowd drives me insane. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/56 "2009-08-13T20:25:07Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Classic thread featuring the [Prehensile Rectum](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=80957). :eek: First I laughed for about five minutes, then I forwarded the thread to the spouse. He is not amused. If I were a mom, I’d be more afraid of my kid being shat on by some anorexic guy with a prehensile rectum than I would be of the kid getting ass-raped in the 30 seconds it takes to pee. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/57 "2009-08-13T20:34:08Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Vigilant Mom also had this gem for Dear Abby readers: _“Children have been violated in a matter of seconds in the play areas of fast-food restaurants with the parents right there.”_ I don’t know about you guys, but I am incredibly impressed by the efficiency of our child molestors here in the good ol’ U.S. of A. Maybe if more Americans took some direction from these hard-working pedophiles, we could keep more jobs in the country. > [@MsWhatsit](#): > > As a kid in the 1980s, I remember my mom giving us a special password, so that if she ever had to have someone pick us up at school that we didn’t know, that person would know the special password. Because, you know, strangers would frequently abduct kids directly from school under the guise of being a family friend. Another kid growing up in the '80s, and our family had a password, too. I don’t think it was about being paranoid, though–it was about giving us a way to tell when it \*\*would \*\*be okay to go with a stranger. For example, let’s say Mom stops to run into the store to get a gallon of milk while my little brother and I wait in the car, and she breaks her leg. Some dude comes up to the window and says, “Hi kids, your Mom sent me to get you.” Do you really want your kids to just run off with \*\*anybody \*\*who says a parent sent them? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/58 "2009-08-13T20:40:08Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Actually, at least in my personal experience, parents are less insanely fearful of “stranger danger” these days than they were for a while. As a kid in the 1980s, I remember my mom giving us a special password, so that if she ever had to have someone pick us up at school that we didn’t know, that person would know the special password. Because, you know, strangers would frequently abduct kids directly from school under the guise of being a family friend. Heh: if you tried showing up at our school with a password that the kid recognized, you’d be laughed off the grounds. Our school has a strict teacher-notification policy: if you don’t send a note to the teacher or call the school secretary to signal a change in how the kid will get home, the school will send the kid home in the regular way. Period. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/59 "2009-08-13T20:43:39Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > It’s a remarkably callow point. A person who is not themselves a pedophile may nontheless produce a product that deliberately panders to pedophilia, purely for shock or controversy value. > > Whether or not it is “innocent” surely depends on the content and context of the work, not on the alleged perversion of the viewer - an artist famous for a pic of stuffing a bullwhip up his rectum producing a pic of a girl exposing herself isn’t the same in _context_ as daddy taking a pic of little Jinny in the bath, and pretending that it is is simply - well, simple-minded. Yeah, agreed. Does it matter what the sexual orientation of the photographer or the subject are, anyway? Like if a gay man does a shoot of scantily clad girls going down on each other, is it automatically not sexual because he’s not attracted to them and they’re bored and only thinking about their next paycheck? I don’t personally think a picture of a little kid is sexual just because they’re naked but the orientation of the photographer and the innocence of the kid are red herrings. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294/60 "2009-08-13T21:12:40Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > We go into the wheelchair stall so I can see what he’s doing. I understand not wanting to send him into the restroom alone (sort of), but he’s 7 - why do you need to see what he’s “doing” in the stall? I could understand if he were a little kid who might need help using the toilet, but wouldn’t it be sufficient to stand outside the stall and give him some breathing room? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-follow-your-babies-into-the-mens-room/506294.md?page=4)