# Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Josh "Tank" Watts
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [October 30, 2012, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299 "2012-10-30T03:55:27Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2012, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/41 "2012-10-30T18:49:42Z")
> [@Crazyhorse](#):
>
> As far as RO stories go it’s got it all. Go fuck a paper towel tube.
That’s really just exceptionally cruel.
Toothpick.
[Hall](http://www.nd.gov/fac/images/Memorial%20Hall.jpg).
---
### Author:  [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2012, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/42 "2012-10-30T19:57:59Z")
> [@Crazyhorse](#):
>
> As far as RO stories go it’s got it all. Go fuck a paper towel tube.
Including the astonishing fact that the Panthers still have a fan.
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### Author:  [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2012, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/43 "2012-10-30T20:38:58Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#):
>
> His girlfriend’s pretty hot.
Those are his girlfriends. He just asks to have his picture taken with them and then pulls them in close.
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2012, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/44 "2012-10-30T20:43:59Z")
> [@njtt](#):
>
> Fuck you.
[Moderating]
Saying “fuck you” to other posters is against the board rules. Please refrain from doing this in the future.
[/Moderating]
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### Author:  [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/45 "2012-10-30T20:49:08Z")
> [@stpauler](#):
>
> What the fuck is wrong with some people? I don’t understand this “team loyalty=must physically assault those different from me” type mentality.
You leave the Marines out of this.
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### Author:  [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2012, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/46 "2012-10-30T20:56:42Z")
I had an English teacher in high school, who, when students would break certain a certain rule about eating or drinking during class, he would yell in an authoritative tone of voice, “NO FOOD OR DRINK IN THE BUILDING!” and salute the “camera” in the ceiling on the classroom (really some sort of smoke detector I think), then just move on, not doing anything at all.
It was obvious to me that he didn’t care at all for the rule that he was being asked to enforce, so he enforced it in a silly way.
Miller kind of reminds me of that with the “fuck you” rule and it brings me such happiness.
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### Author:  [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2012, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/47 "2012-10-30T20:59:06Z")
Way to dry snitch on Miller , drew. Nice job.
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### Author:  [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2012, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/48 "2012-10-30T21:25:45Z")
They didn’t give him the fanciest jackboots for nothing you know.
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### Author:  [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2012, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/49 "2012-10-30T21:26:58Z")
\<_checks [urbandictionary.com](http://urbandictionary.com)_\>
Ah. Dry snitch.
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### Author:  [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2012, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/50 "2012-10-30T21:33:55Z")
Interesting that the story is that they kicked the Marine out of the place and now they’re trying to backtrack it and claim they asked Tank to leave but the Marine left and they were just sick about it.
Their Yelp rating has dropped 2 stars according to the stories, probably “tanking” worse by now. This is really going to cost them business.
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### Author:  [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2012, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/51 "2012-10-30T22:09:53Z")
> [@wedgehed](#):
>
> I thought this was the smart message board.
We are.
Read the _entire_ message board, and then read the _entire_ Internet.
Go on, we’ll wait.
Now write an essay comparing the two.
What, too much work? Do you see where this is going?
---
### Author:  [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2012, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/52 "2012-10-30T22:18:31Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#):
>
> I had an English teacher in high school, who, when students would break certain a certain rule about eating or drinking during class, he would yell in an authoritative tone of voice, “NO FOOD OR DRINK IN THE BUILDING!” and salute the “camera” in the ceiling on the classroom (really some sort of smoke detector I think), then just move on, not doing anything at all.
>
> It was obvious to me that he didn’t care at all for the rule that he was being asked to enforce, so he enforced it in a silly way.
>
> Miller kind of reminds me of that with the “fuck you” rule and it brings me such happiness.
He might not have a problem with the rule itself; just with the fact that he had to enforce it in favor of someone who really merited having the “offense” committed against him.
---
### Author:  [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/53 "2012-10-31T00:33:59Z")
I scrolled through at least 5 pages of search results and did not see a single link to an actual news article. A lot of foul-mouthed rantings/bloggings/twitterings about Mr. Watts’s alleged boorish behavior, but nothing I’d consider impartial, professional reporting.
Would the OP take pity on this pearl-clutching, faint-hearted, greying-hair, almost-senior citizen and post a fucking link to a goddamned pro-sports news site like [NFL.com](http://NFL.com), [ESPN.com](http://ESPN.com), or [FoxSports.com](http://FoxSports.com) so I can see what this stupid shit-storm-in-a-tea cup is about?
Thank you and much obliged, sonny.
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### Author:  [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2012, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/54 "2012-10-31T00:52:37Z")
Nevermind. I figured out why I was confused. I’ve been reading myself blind with coverage of Hurrican Sandy and for some reason–no mood-altering substances were involved, so I don’t have _that_ excuse–I read “J(osh) Watts” and “Cowboys” and confused those with “JJ Watts” and “Houston Texans”. D’oh! Pray continue with the RO.
A tip o’ the Stetson to **Darth Panda** and **Little Nemo** for the link/info.
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### Author:  [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2012, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/55 "2012-10-31T01:36:11Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#):
>
> \<_checks [urbandictionary.com](http://urbandictionary.com)_\>
>
> Ah. Dry snitch.
Link motherfucker!
🙂
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### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2012, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/56 "2012-10-31T01:56:14Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#):
>
> Wow. So why did the double-amputee vet get the boot (no pun intended) while “Tank” got to stay? If “Tank” is really the bad guy in this story (and not falsely made out to be one simply because the other guy involved is an amputee), why didn’t HE get kicked out too?
First rule of breaking up a bar fight is separate the two fighters - kick them both out and you just get a fight in your parking lot. According to the article, Carnes was already leaving the restaurant when the argument occurred. Apparently Watts was still eating. So the easiest way to separate them was to ask Carnes to leave.
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### Author:  [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2012, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/57 "2012-10-31T02:40:09Z")
This vaguely reminds me of a scene from _Corner Gas_, a comedy set in a small town in Saskatchewan. Davis Quinton had started coaching kids’ soccer, which he insisted on calling “football”.
DAVIS QUINTON: Hey, Brent, who’s your favourite football team?
BRENT LEROY: The Riders. Duh.
DAVIS: No, not Canadian football.
BRENT: Oh, then the Minnesota Vikings.
DAVIS: No, out on the pitch!
BRENT: What do you mean? Soccer?
DAVIS: Yeah.
BRENT: Well, then, it’s a tie between the Manchester I-Don’t-Give-a-Craps and the London Not-a-Real-Sports.
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### Author:  [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2012, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/58 "2012-10-31T15:14:09Z")
> [@PlainJain](#):
>
> Link motherfucker!
Wassa matter? Too lazy to Google? Didn’t the OP set the proper ‘Google it yourself, bitch!’ tone for this thread?
Ok, bitch! Here:
> **[Urban Dictionary: dry snitch](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dry%20snitch)**
>
> dry snitch: indirectly \[telling on\] \[someone\]
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### Author:  [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2012, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/59 "2012-10-31T17:38:34Z")
> [@wedgehed](#):
>
> It seemed the most efficient way to display the story & the resulting comments about the story.
OK, so near as I can tell, some cowboy got his legs shot off by a marine in a panther tank so they kicked the marine out of a restaurant and he started to yelp, right?
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### Author:  [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2012, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-josh-tank-watts/639299/60 "2012-10-31T23:05:45Z")
Just pat the bastard on the head, and say “nice pitting”, then mutter ‘idiot’, as you walk away. Like I did when my cat went senile…
fnord
Kinda like the OP.
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