# Mama's gonna buy you a ... (a game) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099 "2004-05-26T01:10:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/241 "2004-06-01T22:53:25Z")
momma’ll buy you a patch and rubber trout and if that trout won’t get you laughs ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/242 "2004-06-01T23:32:53Z")
mama’s gonna throw you back into the past and if you accidentally cause the extinction of mankind… ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/243 "2004-06-01T23:35:27Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > and if you accidentally cause the extinction of mankind… Mama’s gonna feed you a kumquat rind And if that kumquat tastes too tart… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/244 "2004-06-01T23:53:50Z")
> [@Biffy the Elephant Shrew](#): > > Mama’s gonna feed you a kumquat rind > And if that kumquat tastes too tart… Mama’s gonna let off a putrid fart And if that fart makes the place explode ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/245 "2004-06-02T11:18:28Z")
_And if that fart makes the place explode_ Momma’s gonna buy you a new commode, But if that place is a little cramped… ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/246 "2004-06-02T11:26:30Z")
But if that place is a little cramped… Mama’s gonna get your passport stamped And if your passport’s lost in France… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/247 "2004-06-02T11:33:20Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > But if that place is a little cramped… > Mama’s gonna get your passport stamped > > And if your passport’s lost in France… Mama’s gonna marry Jack Palance. And if that marriage to Jack don’t work… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/248 "2004-06-02T13:00:30Z")
_And if that marriage to Jack don’t work…_ Momma’s gonna buy you some beef that’s jerked, But if you decide you’re a vegan now… ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/249 "2004-06-02T14:57:05Z")
_But if you decide you’re a vegan now…_ momma’s gonna try and sell that cow and if she doesn’t get magic beans in return odd…i think that’s the second time i’ve used “magic beans” in this thread. lol. ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/250 "2004-06-02T16:28:18Z")
_and if she doesn’t get magic beans in return_ She’ll queue with the others and wait her turn, But if in that queue someone pushes in… ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/251 "2004-06-02T16:43:13Z")
_But if in that queue someone pushes in…_ momma’s gonna stuff them in a rubbish bin and if that bin begins to smell of rot ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/252 "2004-06-02T16:51:03Z")
…away you’ll both go, in a nice, brisk, trot And if that trot should start to flag… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/253 "2004-06-02T17:15:42Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > …away you’ll both go, in a nice, brisk, trot > > And if that trot should start to flag… Mama’s gonna start to nag and nag. And if her bitchin’ makes you twitchy ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/254 "2004-06-02T17:17:01Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > …away you’ll both go, in a nice, brisk, trot > > And if that trot should start to flag… Mama’s gonna buy you a mangy ol’ nag. And if that mangy nag gives you fleas… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/255 "2004-06-02T17:18:26Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > Mama’s gonna start to nag and nag. > > And if her bitchin’ makes you twitchy Damn! Mama’s gonna spank you with a big ol’ switchy And if you start to squeal and cry… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/256 "2004-06-02T17:19:56Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > Mama’s gonna start to nag and nag. > > And if her bitchin’ makes you twitchy You might end up in a film by Guy Richey. And if your costar is his wife, Madonna… Sorry, **swampy** , you weren’t even close. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/257 "2004-06-02T17:24:22Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > You might end up in a film by Guy Richey. > > And if your costar is his wife, Madonna… > > Sorry, **swampy** , you weren’t even close. Nope, **twicks** I beat ya to it. You gotta do mine! 😛 Mama’s gonna go hide in the sauna. And if that sauna makes mama all wrinkled… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/258 "2004-06-02T17:30:18Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Nope, **twicks** I beat ya to it. You gotta do mine! 😛 > > Mama’s gonna go hide in the sauna. > > And if that sauna makes mama all wrinkled… Iron her well with some water sprinkled. And if Mama’s wrinkles can’t be erased ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/259 "2004-06-02T18:16:59Z")
_And if Mama’s wrinkles can’t be erased_ momma’s gonna go for some botox, well placed and if that botox won’t tighten her wrinkly mug ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/260 "2004-06-02T18:48:39Z")
> [@OneYogini](#): > > _And if Mama’s wrinkles can’t be erased_ > > momma’s gonna go for some botox, well placed > and if that botox won’t tighten her wrinkly mug Mama’s gonna get advice from Cecil and Slug. When Cecil and Slug make her all better… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099.md?page=14)