# Mama's gonna buy you a ... (a game) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099 "2004-05-26T01:10:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/261 "2004-06-02T19:56:59Z")
_When Cecil and Slug make her all better…_ momma’ll create a thread about you, _“Questions regarding a bed-wetter”_ and if that thread scares off your potential Doper soulmate… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/262 "2004-06-03T00:40:28Z")
> [@OneYogini](#): > > _When Cecil and Slug make her all better…_ > > momma’ll create a thread about you, _“Questions regarding a bed-wetter”_ > and if that thread scares off your potential Doper soulmate… Momma’s gonna get you a SDMB troll date. And if that troll date gets you banned… ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/263 "2004-06-03T01:03:04Z")
We’re gonna ship you off to Chicagoland. And if that ship just won’t dock true,… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/264 "2004-06-03T01:21:45Z")
Everyone will stand around and pitilessly mock you. And if that mockery should make you wail… ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/265 "2004-06-03T01:26:30Z")
Then Cecil’s gonna send you to Doper Jail. And if your jailer ain’t got no spine, ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/266 "2004-06-03T01:44:18Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Then Cecil’s gonna send you to Doper Jail. > > And if your jailer ain’t got no spine, Send Lynn Bodini who’ll do just fine. And if she can’t be bothered with you ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/267 "2004-06-03T01:45:41Z")
> [@](#): > > And if she can’t be bothered with you you’ll be sent to look for a **boy** with **no clue** and if that Doper won’t back you up ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/268 "2004-06-03T01:50:22Z")
You’ll hit **Cafe Rosebud** for an evening’s sup. And if that meal doesn’t sit so well,… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/269 "2004-06-03T01:54:21Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > You’ll hit **Cafe Rosebud** for an evening’s sup. > > And if that meal doesn’t sit so well,… You’ll complain to the manager and bitch like hell And if this doesn’t get you a refund ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/270 "2004-06-03T12:54:39Z")
_And if this doesn’t get you a refund_ Momma’ll start a complaining fund, But if the Tax Man finds something funny… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/271 "2004-06-03T13:26:58Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > But if the Tax Man finds something funny… Mama’s going to kiss him and call him honey And if he still won’t ignore the error ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/272 "2004-06-03T15:12:41Z")
_And if he still won’t ignore the error_ momma’s gonna enlist him in the war on terror and if WMDs or OBL are found ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/273 "2004-06-03T15:15:12Z")
> [@OneYogini](#): > > _And if he still won’t ignore the error_ > > momma’s gonna enlist him in the war on terror > and if WMDs or OBL are found Mama’s gonna read the Pit threads that will abound. If reading those threads makes her eyes hurt… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/274 "2004-06-03T15:37:09Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Mama’s gonna read the Pit threads that will abound. > > If reading those threads makes her eyes hurt… Mama’s gonna wear an ‘IMPEACH BUSH’ shirt And if wearing this shirt lands her in jail ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/275 "2004-06-03T15:43:31Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > Mama’s gonna wear an ‘IMPEACH BUSH’ shirt > > And if wearing this shirt lands her in jail Mama’s gonna start a pit thread about her tail. And if mama gets in a pit thread pile on… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/276 "2004-06-03T15:45:06Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Mama’s gonna start a pit thread about her tail. > > And if mama gets in a pit thread pile on… errr… **tale**. but a pit thread about tail might be just as good. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/277 "2004-06-03T15:53:26Z")
…you’ll don a jacket of rip-stop nylon. And if that nylon should melt from the heat… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/278 "2004-06-03T15:53:37Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Mama’s gonna start a pit thread about her tail. > > And if mama gets in a pit thread pile on… She’ll buy some pants made of see-thru nylon. If she shows them off and folks don’t go wild ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/279 "2004-06-03T16:09:58Z")
_If she shows them off and folks don’t go wild_ Momma’s gonna buy some for her child, And when John Ashcroft says it’s pornographic… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/280 "2004-06-03T16:12:56Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > _If she shows them off and folks don’t go wild_ > > Momma’s gonna buy some for her child, > And when John Ashcroft says it’s pornographic… Mama’s gonna throw his ass in traffic. And if they save him in the ER [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099.md?page=15)