# Mama's gonna buy you a ... (a game) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099 "2004-05-26T01:10:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/281 "2004-06-03T17:24:22Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > Mama’s gonna throw his ass in traffic. > > And if they save him in the ER Mamma’s gonna ram the ER with her car. And if that car gets a dent… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/282 "2004-06-03T17:50:39Z")
_And if that car gets a dent…_ Momma’s gonna go without a car for Lent, and if that doesn’t get her into Heaven… ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/283 "2004-06-03T17:52:22Z")
_and if that doesn’t get her into Heaven…_ momma’s gonna ask for her own 7-11 and if that convenience store breaks the bank ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/284 "2004-06-03T22:24:27Z")
> [@OneYogini](#): > > and if that convenience store breaks the bank Mama’s gonna buy you a Sherman tank. And if you decide to mount an invasion… ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/285 "2004-06-03T22:28:53Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > And if you decide to mount an invasion… Mama’s gonna buy you a quadratic equation. And if that equation don’t add up… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/286 "2004-06-03T22:53:32Z")
> [@Biffy the Elephant Shrew](#): > > Mama’s gonna buy you a quadratic equation. > > And if that equation don’t add up… Mama’s gonna buy you a rabid pup. And if that rabid pup should bite you… ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/287 "2004-06-03T23:07:34Z")
mama’s gonna buy you a voiceless /u\_0/ and if that /u\_0/ should become creaky voiced ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/288 "2004-06-03T23:11:03Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > mama’s gonna buy you a voiceless /u\_0/ > and if that /u\_0/ should become creaky voiced Mama’s gonna call up Dr. Joyce. If Dr. Joyce tells mama you’re a godless queer… ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/289 "2004-06-03T23:40:34Z")
_If Dr. Joyce tells mama you’re a godless queer…_ momma’s gonna send you to San Francisco for a year and if in a year you don’t find yourself a stud ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/290 "2004-06-03T23:49:29Z")
> [@OneYogini](#): > > and if in a year you don’t find yourself a stud Mama’s gonna buy you a case of Bud. And if that case of Bud don’t fizz… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/291 "2004-06-04T01:02:33Z")
> [@Biffy the Elephant Shrew](#): > > Mama’s gonna buy you a case of Bud. > > And if that case of Bud don’t fizz… A bottle of whiskey should do the biz. And if that whiskey should get you blutered ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/292 "2004-06-04T11:24:01Z")
You’ll awaken in Troy to find ya been neutered. And if the eunuch’s life ain’t grand, ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/293 "2004-06-04T12:09:23Z")
_And if the eunuch’s life ain’t grand,_ Momma’s gonna buy you a piece of land, And if under that land some oil is found… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/294 "2004-06-04T12:13:07Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > _And if the eunuch’s life ain’t grand,_ > > Momma’s gonna buy you a piece of land, > And if under that land some oil is found… Mama’s gonna be Beverly Hills bound. And if she moves in next door to Mrs. Drysdale… ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/295 "2004-06-04T15:54:56Z")
_And if she moves in next door to Mrs. Drysdale…_ momma’s gonna go to Milburn’s bank to close the sale and if Ms. Jane Hathaway should block the door ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/296 "2004-06-04T16:39:18Z")
> [@OneYogini](#): > > and if Ms. Jane Hathaway should block the door Procol Harum will arrive and play “Conquistador.” And should you request “A Whiter Shade of Pale”… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/297 "2004-06-04T16:48:36Z")
> [@Biffy the Elephant Shrew](#): > > Procol Harum will arrive and play “Conquistador.” > > And should you request “A Whiter Shade of Pale”… Mama’s gonna hook you up with a porno male. And if that porno male should go limp… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/298 "2004-06-04T16:58:06Z")
You might go for a flight on the Goodyear Blimp. And if the blimp should go kerplooie… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/299 "2004-06-04T17:34:03Z")
_And if the blimp should go kerplooie…_ Momma’s gonna catch you a doper newbie, And if that newbie asks about **Opal**? ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/300 "2004-06-04T18:07:59Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > And if that newbie asks about **Opal**? Mama’s gonna ship you off to Constantinople If Constantinople gets the works… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099.md?page=16)