# Mama's gonna buy you a ... (a game) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099 "2004-05-26T01:10:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2004, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/321 "2004-06-07T08:23:59Z")
_And if that joint don’t get her stoned_ Momma’s gonna buy a dinosaur bone, And if she tries to clone T-Rex… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2004, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/322 "2004-06-07T16:01:15Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > _And if that joint don’t get her stoned_ > > Momma’s gonna buy a dinosaur bone, > And if she tries to clone T-Rex… She’ll be joining the Jurrasic Park crew next And if monsters just don’t turn you on ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2004, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/323 "2004-06-07T18:38:01Z")
_And if monsters just don’t turn you on_ Momma’s gonna buy you some long-johns, And if that don’t make you feel manly… ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2004, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/324 "2004-06-07T19:09:20Z")
_And if that don’t make you feel manly…_ momma’ll suggest you some tools by [Stanley](http://www.stanleytools.com/default.asp?TYPE=STATIC&PAGE=HOME.HTM) and if feeling manly isn’t your goal ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2004, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/325 "2004-06-07T20:27:34Z")
> [@OneYogini](#): > > _And if that don’t make you feel manly…_ > > momma’ll suggest you some tools by [Stanley](http://www.stanleytools.com/default.asp?TYPE=STATIC&PAGE=HOME.HTM) > and if feeling manly isn’t your goal Put on a dress and she’ll teach you how to bowl And if you just can’t handle that ball ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/326 "2004-06-08T02:13:44Z")
momma’s gonna teach you a dodo’s mating call and if that mating call brings you a dud ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/327 "2004-06-08T03:27:21Z")
> [@OneYogini](#): > > momma’s gonna teach you a dodo’s mating call > and if that mating call brings you a dud Mama’s gonna play [Aunt Eller to your Jud](http://www.nodanw.com/shows_o/oklahoma.htm) And if that revival don’t win a Tony… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/328 "2004-06-08T03:42:36Z")
You can go for a spin on a big Zamboni And if that Zamboni should go into a skid… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/329 "2004-06-08T05:15:43Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > You can go for a spin on a big Zamboni > > And if that Zamboni should go into a skid… Mama’s gonna sell you for an e-bay bid And if you don’t want to be sold off ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/330 "2004-06-08T05:40:59Z")
Mama’s gonna make you a Grand Moff and if you’re killed when the Death Star explodes ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/331 "2004-06-08T08:24:50Z")
_and if you’re killed when the Death Star explodes_ Momma’s gonna buy you a singing toad, But if you don’t like slimy things… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/332 "2004-06-08T11:50:26Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > _and if you’re killed when the Death Star explodes_ > > Momma’s gonna buy you a singing toad, > But if you don’t like slimy things… Mama’s gonna buy you a tshirt that clings. And if that tshirt is to revealing… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/333 "2004-06-08T12:14:42Z")
_And if that tshirt is to revealing…_ Momma’s gonna hang you from the ceiling, And if you decide you don’t like heights… ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/334 "2004-06-08T17:55:08Z")
_And if you decide you don’t like heights…_ momma’ll take you to Europe to enjoy the sites and if you can’t find a handsome suitor there… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/335 "2004-06-08T19:57:44Z")
> [@OneYogini](#): > > _And if you decide you don’t like heights…_ > > momma’ll take you to Europe to enjoy the sites > and if you can’t find a handsome suitor there… Mama’s gonna take you out on the tear. And if you pick up some gorgeous fella ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/336 "2004-06-08T20:03:31Z")
_And if you pick up some gorgeous fella_ if he’s Italian, he’ll call you bella and if you prefer a Scottish gent ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/337 "2004-06-08T20:36:35Z")
> [@OneYogini](#): > > _And if you pick up some gorgeous fella_ > > if he’s Italian, he’ll call you bella > and if you prefer a Scottish gent Look under his kilt before you consent And if he isn’t too well hung ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/338 "2004-06-08T21:52:06Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > Look under his kilt before you consent > > And if he isn’t too well hung Mamma’s gonna find you one that’s young. And if that young one ain’t big and burly… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/339 "2004-06-09T01:16:16Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Mamma’s gonna find you one that’s young. > And if that young one ain’t big and burly… Mama’s gonna grab him by the short and curlie[s] And if he’s waxed that hair all off ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2004, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/340 "2004-06-14T11:03:02Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > Mama’s gonna grab him by the short and curlie[s] > > And if he’s waxed that hair all off Mama’s gonna play him a round of golf. And if that golf’s played by the sea… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099.md?page=18)