# Mama's gonna buy you a ... (a game) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099 "2004-05-26T01:10:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![mlerose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@mlerose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlerose)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/41 "2004-05-26T14:22:18Z")
And if that bunch of chives don’t stink ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/42 "2004-05-26T14:58:19Z")
Mama’s gonna take you to the skating rink. And if that skating rink gets rated ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/43 "2004-05-26T15:00:13Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Mama’s gonna take you to the skating rink. > And if that skating rink gets rated :smack: Mama’s gonna take you to the skating rink And if tha skating rink gets raided ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/44 "2004-05-26T15:32:57Z")
and if that skating rink gets raided momma’s gonna call that judge you dated and if that judge won’t let you walk ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/45 "2004-05-26T16:23:23Z")
Mama’s gonna get ya star to stalk And if that star you stalk takes out a warrant ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/46 "2004-05-26T16:45:06Z")
Mama’s gonna buy a star less abhorrent. And if that star wins the Academy Award… ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/47 "2004-05-26T17:01:45Z")
“And if that star wins the Academy Award…” Momma’s gonna buy you a Ouija board And if that Ouija board tells lies… ---
**Author:** ![IrreverentTone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@IrreverentTone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IrreverentTone)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/48 "2004-05-26T17:09:09Z")
Mama’s gonna buy you a great big gourd. And if that great big gourd should rot… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/49 "2004-05-26T17:10:44Z")
Mama’s gonna go proselytize. And if the heathens beat her to a pulp… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/50 "2004-05-26T17:15:06Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Mama’s gonna go proselytize. > > And if the heathens beat her to a pulp… Mama’s gonna buy you a Big Gulp. And if that Big Gulp makes you choke ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/51 "2004-05-26T17:20:48Z")
Mama’s gonna buy you a pack of smokes; And if the tobacco stunts your growth, ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/52 "2004-05-26T17:38:40Z")
_And if the tobacco stunts your growth,_ momma’ll testify under oath and if the court says momma perjured herself… ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/53 "2004-05-26T19:39:16Z")
> [@OneYogini](#): > > _And if the tobacco stunts your growth,_ > momma’ll testify under oath > > and if the court says momma perjured herself… Mama and you will leave the country by stealth. If we are stopped by the border guard… ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/54 "2004-05-26T19:48:34Z")
Mama’ll read sonnets by the “bard” And if those sonnets fail to soothe… ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/55 "2004-05-26T20:06:52Z")
Mama will have them read by Catharine DeNeuve If she fails to get applause ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/56 "2004-05-26T20:08:57Z")
Mama’s gonna bring on Santa Claus If Santa should show up drunk ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/57 "2004-05-26T20:16:56Z")
…Odds are good he’ll go “ker-plunk” And if St. Nick should not come to… ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/58 "2004-05-26T20:23:06Z")
then momma’ll hire a band for you and if that band plays the _Electric Slide_ ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/59 "2004-05-26T20:58:10Z")
Mama’s gonna buy you a rhino hide. And if that rhino hide ain’t tough… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/60 "2004-05-26T21:19:51Z")
Mama’s gonna by you some dippin’ snuff. And if that dippin’ snuff makes you sneeze… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099.md?page=4)