# Mama's gonna buy you a ... (a game) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099 "2004-05-26T01:10:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/81 "2004-05-27T03:01:46Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > And if he doesn’t change his tune darn sharp Mama’s going to buy you a fish called a trout. If that trout should feel all slimey… ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/82 "2004-05-27T03:03:22Z")
> [@Dragwyr](#): > > Mama’s going to buy you a fish called a trout. > If that trout should feel all slimey… Sorry… it should be: Mama’s going to buy you a fish called a carp. If that carp should feel all slimey… My mistake. Me = :wally ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/83 "2004-05-27T04:08:28Z")
mama’s gonna buy you a drunken limey and if that limey’s hair is blue ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/84 "2004-05-27T04:40:28Z")
“and if that limey’s hair is blue” …I know a boy you could give him to. And if that boy don’t pay you well, Momma gonna tell him to go to hell. And if to hell he does not go… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/85 "2004-05-27T05:12:48Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > And if to hell he does not go… Momma’s gonna buy you the Alamo. And if the Alamo gets attacked… ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/86 "2004-05-27T05:14:52Z")
“And if to hell he does not go…” Mama said to tour around like Dante, in limbo! And if in limbo he grows restless… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/87 "2004-05-27T12:01:23Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Momma’s gonna buy you the Alamo. > > And if the Alamo gets attacked… Mama’s gonna buy you a Jack Chick tract. And if that Jack Chick tract don’t save you… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/88 "2004-05-27T12:03:16Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > And if the Alamo gets attacked… Mama’s gonna buy you an international pact. And if that international pact gets broken… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/89 "2004-05-27T12:19:55Z")
Mama’s gonna buy you a toke for smoking And if that toke don’t get you high When she comes back, Mama’s gonna bring pie. And if that pie has rotten fruit… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/90 "2004-05-27T12:24:15Z")
I got the Alamo one in before **Twicks** did so her’s doesn’t count! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/91 "2004-05-27T12:26:03Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > I got the Alamo one in before **Twicks** did so her’s doesn’t count! 😛 Mama’s gonna buy you a Phred Tract too. And if that tract makes you hate fags… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/92 "2004-05-27T13:33:24Z")
_And if that tract makes you hate fags…_ Momma’s gonna teach you how to dress in drag, But if those heels are killing you… ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/93 "2004-05-27T13:56:53Z")
Mama’s gonna fetch you some comfortable shoes And if those Birkenstocks’ buckles should break… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/94 "2004-05-27T14:08:17Z")
> [@TeaElle](#): > > Mama’s gonna fetch you some comfortable shoes > And if those Birkenstocks’ buckles should break… Mama’s gonna of you a lesbian make. If being a lesbian don’t make you happy… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/95 "2004-05-27T14:13:07Z")
Mama’s gonna set you up with your Pappy. And if incest ain’t your thing… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/96 "2004-05-27T14:17:00Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Mama’s gonna set you up with your Pappy. > And if incest ain’t your thing… Mama’s gonna pimp you for _bling bling_ And if that _bling bling_ should turn brass ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/97 "2004-05-27T14:26:57Z")
Mama’s gonna head for the Khyber Pass. And if the Khyber Pass gets blocked… ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/98 "2004-05-27T14:37:22Z")
She’ll fight her way with all the arms she’s stocked. And if the Taliban take offence ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/99 "2004-05-27T15:01:33Z")
Mama’s gonna buy you some blubber to flense. And if that blubber’s from an endangered species… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/100 "2004-05-27T15:09:42Z")
You can sit right down and read some Nietzsche. And if ol’ Nietzsche turns your tummy… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099.md?page=6)