# Mama's gonna buy you a ... (a game) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099 "2004-05-26T01:10:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/141 "2004-05-28T15:19:21Z")
_But if some con wants to make you a bitch…_ Mama’ll whoop his ass with a hickory switch. But if that switch should be too frail… ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/142 "2004-05-28T15:39:48Z")
> [@](#): > > But if that switch should be too frail… momma’s gonna get you a cell with a pretty she-male and if that she-male doesn’t tickle your fancy… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/143 "2004-05-28T15:42:55Z")
You can always reenact _Sid and Nancy_. And if _Sid ‘n’ Nancy_ proves too grim… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/144 "2004-05-28T15:48:13Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > You can always reenact _Sid and Nancy_. > > And if _Sid ‘n’ Nancy_ proves too grim… Mamma’s gonna put you in a cell with a man named “Slim” If “Slim” turns out to be a perv… ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/145 "2004-05-28T16:10:17Z")
_If “Slim” turns out to be a perv…_ Mama’s gonna make you an asparagus hors d’oeuvre. But if that asparagus should be too woody… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/146 "2004-05-28T18:00:25Z")
Mama’s gonna make that woody a goody. And is that asparagus gets soft ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/147 "2004-05-28T18:10:00Z")
Mama’s gonna call Sid and Marty Krofft. And if Witchy-Poo should come along… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/148 "2004-05-28T18:21:20Z")
_And if Witchy-Poo should come along…_ Momma’s gonna break out the ol’ shotgun, But if that shotgun ain’t got rounds… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/149 "2004-05-28T18:29:41Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > _And if Witchy-Poo should come along…_ > > Momma’s gonna break out the ol’ shotgun, > But if that shotgun ain’t got rounds… Mama’s gonna get some and shoot up the grounds Should mama happen to hit a gopher… ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/150 "2004-05-28T18:51:25Z")
momma’s gonna send you to live with [Marty Stouffer](http://www.wildamerica.com/pages/Marty.html) and if that Marty starts to bore you with his [one-hour specials](http://www.wildamerica.com/pages/specials.html) ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/151 "2004-05-28T19:01:50Z")
> [@OneYogini](#): > > momma’s gonna send you to live with [Marty Stouffer](http://www.wildamerica.com/pages/Marty.html) > > and if that Marty starts to bore you with his [one-hour specials](http://www.wildamerica.com/pages/specials.html) (Whaddya say, gang, let’s let **OneYogini** finde something that rhymes with “specials,” shall we?") ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/152 "2004-05-28T19:20:25Z")
_and if that Marty starts to bore you with his one-hour specials…_ Mommas gonna start to claw for his blood vessels, (Come on, give me some credit. 😛 ) And if that blood does stain your clothes… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/153 "2004-05-28T21:36:38Z")
Mama’s gonna turn on her high powered hose. And if that hose gives you a thrill ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/154 "2004-05-28T22:54:57Z")
Mama will get you a barby grill And if that barby don’t get hot ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/155 "2004-05-28T23:47:21Z")
> [@Tikki](#): > > Mama will get you a barby grill > And if that barby don’t get hot Momma’s gonna buy you a used car lot And if all the cars you get are beaters… ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2004, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/156 "2004-05-29T02:18:53Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > (Whaddya say, gang, let’s let **OneYogini** finde something that rhymes with “specials,” shall we?") 😛😃 _And if all the cars you get are beaters…_ momma’ll introduce you to one of those Wal-mart greeters and if that greeter’s Social Security runs out… ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2004, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/157 "2004-05-29T05:19:43Z")
_and if that greeter’s Social Security runs out…_ Momma’ll help you “get rid” of that lout. But if the lout’s shallow grave should be discovered… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2004, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/158 "2004-05-29T12:22:36Z")
It’ll be because Security hovered. And if you try to off the Rent-A-Cop… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2004, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/159 "2004-05-29T12:24:27Z")
He’ll give you a yenta-bop. And if that bop makes you pass out ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2004, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099/160 "2004-05-29T13:08:24Z")
_And if that bop makes you pass out_ You’ll wake up in a bathtub with a kidney out, And if that means that you need stitches… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-a-game/247099.md?page=9)