# Man attempted to nail himself to cross

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-attempted-to-nail-himself-to-cross/234678>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [March 16, 2004, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-attempted-to-nail-himself-to-cross/234678 "2004-03-16T18:31:11Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 7\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![LVgeogeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b19c9b/32.png) [@LVgeogeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVgeogeek)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-attempted-to-nail-himself-to-cross/234678/1 "2004-03-16T18:31:11Z")

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[http://www.pressherald.com/news/state/040316crossguy.shtml](http://www.pressherald.com/news/state/040316crossguy.shtml)

I am all for deep religeous devotion, if that is what your thing is, but some people just need mental help.

> [@](#):
>
> …apparently was trying to commit suicide Thursday evening in his living room.  
> …he had been “seeing pictures of God on the computer.” He told them he had not seen the hit movie “The Passion of the Christ,” which depicts the Crucifixion of Jesus

> [@](#):
>
> “When he realized that he was unable to nail his other hand to the board, he called 911,” Boucher said.
> 
> **It was unclear whether the man was seeking assistance for his injury or help in nailing down his other hand**.

bolding mine

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**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-attempted-to-nail-himself-to-cross/234678/2 "2004-03-16T18:33:47Z")

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[Scooped be mere minutes](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=245427).

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**Author:** ![LVgeogeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b19c9b/32.png) [@LVgeogeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVgeogeek)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-attempted-to-nail-himself-to-cross/234678/3 "2004-03-16T18:34:31Z")

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maybe the mods can blend this thread with _“It’s that last damn nail that gets you every time”_ thread by **MrVisible**

I looked for similar post before I posetd but must have missed it 🙂 sorry

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**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-attempted-to-nail-himself-to-cross/234678/4 "2004-03-16T18:49:09Z")

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Remember Homer Simpson trying to free himself from the tar pit?

“And now I’ll free my other hand with my face.”

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**Author:** ![Frank\_2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Frank\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank_2)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-attempted-to-nail-himself-to-cross/234678/5 "2004-03-16T20:30:34Z")

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Asssuming for a moment that he was successful in nailing both his hands down, how was he planning on hoisting the cross? I don’t think crucifixion involves lying on the floor.

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**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-attempted-to-nail-himself-to-cross/234678/6 "2004-03-17T13:49:59Z")

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> [@Frank #2](#):
>
> Asssuming for a moment that he was successful in nailing both his hands down, how was he planning on hoisting the cross? I don’t think crucifixion involves lying on the floor.

Oh man! I knew I was forgetting something!

On the other hand, I have discovered that I can type with my toes.

Disclaimer:

The above post bears no resemblance to reality in any way. Blackclaw has not nailed himself to a cross and can barely type with his fingers, certainly not with his toes.

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**Author:** ![LastStanding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8edcca/32.png) [@LastStanding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LastStanding)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2004, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-attempted-to-nail-himself-to-cross/234678/7 "2004-03-17T14:02:29Z")

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Take a visit to the Philippines and see men get crucified in yearly re-enactments.