# Man, bear, woman,what's the meme I'm missing? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 9, 2024, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284 "2024-05-09T03:33:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/81 "2024-05-09T18:35:28Z")
I think a lot of you are way overthinking this. There’s no need to dive into statistics or animal psychology. It’s just a colorful internet friendly meme to show how much shit women have to worry about that men don’t. Unfortunately, like all such memes and as evidenced by this thread itself, the men who are receptive to it don’t need to read it, and those who need to read it won’t be receptive to it. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/82 "2024-05-09T18:47:05Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > I am 62 years old and have learned there is literally NOTHING a woman can say that some man won’t immediately “explain” she is wrong about. > [@TriPolar](#): > > Most of those men will do the same to other men. If you notice when a man does that to other men he’s not a sexist jerk, just a regular jerk. It is a pointless distinction because you don’t want to be alone in the woods with either of them. Wow, talk about instant proof of concept. Impressive. Or was I whooshed? ETA: I see I am an hour later in my post. > [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > you have so brilliantly proved my point I assume you are joking ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/83 "2024-05-09T18:47:47Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > There’s no need to dive into statistics or animal psychology. It’s just a colorful internet friendly meme to show how much shit women have to worry about that men don’t. I’d say woman have to worry about it _more_. A lot more. But as a man who has been assaulted by a random man, I worry about it too. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/84 "2024-05-09T19:00:48Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > I think a lot of you are way overthinking this. There’s no need to dive into statistics or animal psychology. Absolutely–and I repeat, the original question is a great illustration of a point. It’s the elaborations of it that I think are largely a hot mess. (For one thing, when the elaborations are full of so many errors, it makes it less likely that folks who aren’t initially receptive to the idea will become receptive.) I’ve also seen the elaborations in the other direction–“WOMEN DON’T YOU KNOW THAT BEARS ARE PREDATORS LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THEIR TEETH”–and those are also largely garbage. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/85 "2024-05-09T19:08:56Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I’d say woman have to worry about it _more_. A lot more. But as a man who has been assaulted by a random man, I worry about it too. Some of the ways women have to worry about men are not the ways that most men have to worry about men. When I was younger, I was very effeminate: very short, slender, with long hair and delicate features. I once had a guy follow me down an alley, clucking his tongue at me and asking, “How much? How much?” Once. My understanding is that many, many women have experiences like this repeatedly. And my understanding is that the majority of guys _never_ have experiences like this. I’ve also seen guys that are physically threatening, and that I worry might decide to beat the hell out of me for fun, or to take my wallet. I’m still a small guy and there’s pretty much nobody that I size up and think, “Yeah, I could take them in a fight.” So I know what it means to be scared about a man. But the ways I’m scared of big men? those are ways that women are _also_ likely to be scared of big men. The ways I’m scared of guys who look like they’re having a mental health or drug-related episode? Women are gonna have the exact same worries about those guys. Women just get this extra bonus way to be worried about dudes, and those bonus ways don’t necessarily correspond to ways that most men have to be worried about anyone, and they don’t necessarily correlate to any obvious features of the guy in question. Creepy dudes come from all walks of life, and they don’t necessarily stagger or twitch or shout or glower before they get their creep on. So if a woman is worried around me, I don’t take it personally. She doesn’t know whether I’m about to creep out. We might all worry about men. But women get that bonus worry. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/86 "2024-05-09T19:10:16Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > you have so brilliantly proved my point I assume you are joking It’s a little funny, but mainly because it’s true. And I wasn’t explaining that you were wrong, just that you’re right in several ways. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/87 "2024-05-09T19:11:31Z")
Everyone knows that the mostest dangeriffic animal is a _mother_ grizzly with her cubs so… you know… yeah, think about it. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/88 "2024-05-09T19:11:37Z")
Sure, but I’d say there are differences in quality as well as degree. If I’m mugged the cops are probably going to believe me and won’t ask if I was holding my wallet in a provocative manner. I can leave my drink on a bar unattended. (Unless they were going to impress me onto a 19th century sailing ship, but i live in the 21st century. ) And of course the degree of danger is considerably greater. ETA: and what LHOD said. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/89 "2024-05-09T19:18:14Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > So if a woman is worried around me, I don’t take it personally. She doesn’t know whether I’m about to creep out. I’m reading a romance by T. Kingfisher called _Paladin’s Strength,_ where the hero is a Paladin of enormous size, and he expends a great deal of effort trying to figure out how to express interest in women without freaking them out. He doesn’t begrudge any of them their anxiety. I thought that was a nice detail. Also (spoiler) the heroine is an enormous, strong woman and also a were bear, so he doesn’t have to worry about it as much with her. Also adorable. (Also relevant! Bear!) ---
**Author:** ![Chisquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@Chisquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chisquirrel)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/90 "2024-05-09T19:22:13Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Also (spoiler) the heroine is an enormous, strong woman and also a were bear, so he doesn’t have to worry about it as much with her. > > Also adorable. (Also relevant! Bear!) Even giant paladins prefer bears to men? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/91 "2024-05-09T19:26:03Z")
The first time she transforms he panics and stabs her in the leg. So I think even giant paladins are afraid of bears. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/92 "2024-05-09T19:28:32Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > I often run into random men while hiking, and so far, none has attacked me, nor been harmful in any way. Sometimes i say, “hi”. Sometimes i ask for directions, or how much farther it is to the goal. Sometimes they ask me these things. So I picked the man. > > If the question is about being attacked, i might change my answer to preferring the bear. There are a lot of ways it would be worse to be attacked by a man. ISTM that a lot of the subtext in this discussion involves respondents’ making unspoken assumptions about why the man is out there in the woods. Everybody knows that the bear is wandering around in the woods because that’s just where bears live. (And shit, natch, and do all the rest of their bear business.) But there is a popular perception, stoked (and not just among women) by centuries of sensationalist crime reporting and fiction, that if a lone man is out in the woods then there’s a significantly heightened probability that he’s some kind of crazy predator. Of course you’d rather encounter a bear just going about his/her bear business than run that kind of risk. I’m willing to bet that almost all of the women who responded that they’d rather encounter a bear than a man when alone in the woods would switch their answer if instead the context was, say, alone in an elevator in a busy office building during the workday. That’s a situation in which a man is presumed by default to be going about normal man business rather than acts of crazy predation. A bear in an elevator, in the other hand, is far more likely to be distressed and aggressive rather than just doing normal bear business. (Although maybe the bear came into town to see her lawyer or something, I don’t know her bear life.) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/93 "2024-05-09T19:32:24Z")
Apropos of nothing, a black bear was spotted in NE DC this morning, near Georgia Avenue. Apparently it moved on to Hyattsville. > **[Black bear spotted in Northeast DC neighborhood](https://www.dcnewsnow.com/news/local-news/washington-dc/black-bear-spotted-in-northeast-dc-neighborhood/)** > > WASHINGTON (DC News Now) — Residents spotted a black bear roaming through their Northeast D.C. neighborhood on Tuesday morning. One D.C. resident posted on the X platform that she was walking… ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/94 "2024-05-09T20:22:42Z")
Apropos of this entire thing. > **[Jury says California man who sexually assaulted hikers, sleeping women poses...](https://www.yahoo.com/news/jury-says-california-man-sexually-130635352.html)** > > A 42-year-old Southern California man faces up to 53 years behind bars after being convicted of sexually assaulting five females in just under three years. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/95 "2024-05-09T20:28:08Z")
I’ve met plenty of solo men way out in the woods. Backpackers. They say hi, that waterfall crossing up ahead is gnarly this year, have a nice hike, bye. Predator men are rarely going to be more than an hour from their car, just like everyone else. But I am not alone, because I don’t hike alone. As a woman, that would be very risky for me. Not because of bears. My sister, who is an order of magnitude more serious a backpacker, used to work as a back country ranger. Because she was often going out solo, the forest service let her bring her dog with her – a very large, hairy dog who in fact resembled a small bear. They wouldn’t have let a man do this. Not because of bears. ---
**Author:** ![velomont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/8491ac/32.png) [@velomont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velomont)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/96 "2024-05-09T20:38:25Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > But there is a popular perception, stoked (and not just among women) by centuries of sensationalist crime reporting and fiction, that if a lone man is out in the woods then there’s a significantly heightened probability that he’s some kind of crazy predator As LHOD states in the quote below, this meme has SFA to do with factual, statistical analysis. Why is your statement even relevant Kimstu? The salient point is that women can’t automatically assume anything about any random guy they encounter. > [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Absolutely–and I repeat, the original question is a great illustration of a point. It’s the elaborations of it that I think are largely a hot mess ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/97 "2024-05-09T20:40:36Z")
> [@velomont](#): > > As LHOD states in the quote below, this meme has SFA to do with factual, statistical analysis. Why is your statement even relevant Kimstu? Because, as I clearly stated, I think that popular perception is influencing a lot of people’s responses to this meme. Seems pretty relevant to me? Were you mistakenly imagining that I was claiming it’s true that “if a lone man is out in the woods then there’s a significantly heightened probability that he’s some kind of crazy predator”? I wasn’t. ---
**Author:** ![velomont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/8491ac/32.png) [@velomont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velomont)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/98 "2024-05-09T20:45:56Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Were you mistakenly imagining that I was claiming it’s true that “if a lone man is out in the woods then there’s a significantly heightened probability that he’s some kind of crazy predator”? I wasn’t No I was (possibly incorrectly) assuming that you were trying to discredit the belief that women have to fear some men. I (a guy) don’t have some metatag floating over me that lists my crime and violence stats. Bears and forests notwithstanding, women are forced to be more careful than us, often because of us. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/99 "2024-05-09T20:57:34Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Or a koala bear. I visited a wildlife park in Australia, that had all the famous Aussie critters - kangaroos, wallabies, kookaburras (yes, it really does sound like human laughter), Tasmanian Devils. The koalas were the only ones with warning signs on their enclosure. They bite, scratch, piss, and shit on you. Believe me, the Tazzie Devils and the platypuses are _much_ cuter. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2024, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284/100 "2024-05-09T21:00:44Z")
> [@velomont](#): > > No I was (possibly incorrectly) assuming that you were trying to discredit the belief that women have to fear some men. I definitely wasn’t trying to discredit that assumption, sorry if I gave that impression. As a woman, I’m well aware of the dilemma of not being able to assess a random male stranger’s trustworthiness. But it does seem to me that popular perceptions of male trustworthiness in certain situations tend to be skewed by media stereotypes. For example, as others have pointed out, look at the popular emphasis on “stranger danger” compared to the actual prevalence of assaults by acquaintances and family members. Similarly, I think our reluctance to treat a random male stranger encountered out in the woods as trustworthy doesn’t spring only from the rational awareness that we can’t ever assume with 100% confidence that any stranger is trustworthy. It’s also strongly influenced by media stereotypes about nefarious “murderous hermits” and “solitary predators” roaming the woods in search of victims. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-bear-woman-whats-the-meme-im-missing/1001284.md?page=6)