# Man Beats Up Easter Bunny :(
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-beats-up-easter-bunny/169192
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [April 16, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-beats-up-easter-bunny/169192 "2003-04-16T22:37:15Z")
**Posts on this page:** 14
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-beats-up-easter-bunny/169192/1 "2003-04-16T22:37:15Z")
> **[Man Nabbed For Battering Easter Bunny](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/man-nabbed-battering-easter-bunny)**
>
> LEWINSKY: Now she's offering televised dating tips.
> APRIL 16--Meet Montell Howard. The 21-year-old Wisconsin man was just busted for assaulting the Easter Bunny. According to this police report, Howa
> [@](#):
>
> The bunny, 29-year-old Travis Peterson, was greeting children when Howard allegedly jumped into his lap and and started smashing him in the head. The assailant then put the Easter Bunny in a headlock and punched the rabbit in the mouth, as young mallgoers watched aghast.
☹
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### Author:  [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2003, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-beats-up-easter-bunny/169192/2 "2003-04-16T22:51:22Z")
I was in the mall the other day doing locksmith work. There was no line at the easter bunny area but he was dancing and jolly all the same.
I had a sudden urge to run of there there and beat him up screaming “this ones for Brodie you bastard!”
I chuckled the rest of the day remenising about Jay and Sinelt Bob in mallrats taking down the easter bunny.
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### Author:  [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-beats-up-easter-bunny/169192/3 "2003-04-17T15:34:58Z")
Was the bunny hiding weapons of mass destruction?
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### Author:  [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2003, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-beats-up-easter-bunny/169192/4 "2003-04-17T15:36:34Z")
It was obviously the work of Jay and Silent Bob. They masterminded the entire thing.
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### Author:  [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-beats-up-easter-bunny/169192/5 "2003-04-17T17:58:25Z")
Looks like little Travis is getting a lump of coal in his easter basket this…um, wait…what do you get in your easter basket if you piss off the Easter Bunny, anyway? Worms?
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### Author:  [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-beats-up-easter-bunny/169192/6 "2003-04-17T18:29:55Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by slortar \*
> \*\*Looks like little Travis is getting a lump of coal in his easter basket this…um, wait…what do you get in your easter basket if you piss off the Easter Bunny, anyway? Worms? \*\*
No, **slortar** , Travis _was_ the Easter bunny. ☹
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### Author:  [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-beats-up-easter-bunny/169192/7 "2003-04-17T18:30:47Z")
“And that’s for Brody!”
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### Author:  [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-beats-up-easter-bunny/169192/8 "2003-04-17T18:31:49Z")
Crap…nevermind
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### Author:  [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-beats-up-easter-bunny/169192/9 "2003-04-17T18:43:22Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by slortar \*
> \*\*Looks like little Travis is getting a lump of coal in his easter basket this…um, wait…what do you get in your easter basket if you piss off the Easter Bunny, anyway? Worms? \*\*
you get brown ‘jelly beans’.
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### Author:  [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2003, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-beats-up-easter-bunny/169192/10 "2003-04-17T18:45:26Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by LolaCocaCola \*
> \*\*No, **slortar** , Travis _was_ the Easter bunny. ☹ \*\*
Oh, sure. Puncture my youthful delusions. Now you’re going to tell me that Santa Claus is really just a sweaty old man on the mall pay roll or my dad or something like that. :dubious:
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### Author:  [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2003, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-beats-up-easter-bunny/169192/11 "2003-04-17T18:47:55Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Max Carnage \*
> \*\*“And that’s for Brody!” \*\*
Neener neener neener! 😃
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### Author:  [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2003, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-beats-up-easter-bunny/169192/12 "2003-04-17T18:59:31Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by slortar \*
> \*\*Oh, sure. Puncture my youthful delusions. Now you’re going to tell me that Santa Claus is really just a sweaty old man on the mall pay roll or my dad or something like that. :dubious: \*\*
Not exactly, **slortar**. But _since_ you asked!
Santa is a drunk by the name of Charles Pierce.
> **[Santa Claus Popped For Public Drinking](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/santa-claus-popped-public-drinking)**
>
> Meet Charles Pierce. The 42-year-old Maryland man--dressed in a full Santa Claus costume--was just arrested by Ocean City cops who found him staggering on the street with a cup of beer in his hand. Th
> [@](#):
>
> Meet Charles Pierce. The 42-year-old Maryland man–dressed in a full Santa Claus costume–was just arrested by Ocean City cops who found him staggering on the street with a cup of beer in his hand.
😛
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### Author:  [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2003, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-beats-up-easter-bunny/169192/13 "2003-04-17T19:02:49Z")
_sobbing inconsolably_
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-beats-up-easter-bunny/169192/14 "2003-04-17T20:34:21Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by slortar \*
> **Now you’re going to tell me that Santa Claus is really just a sweaty old man on the mall pay roll or my dad or something like that.**
Heads up: You should be aware of the film _Bad Santa_ coming this holiday season, starring Billy Bob Thornton as a… less than savory St. Nick.