# Man builds up a 40,000-volt charge of static electricity in his clothes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 16, 2005, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966 "2005-09-16T14:40:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/21 "2005-09-17T04:53:08Z")
> [@astro](#): > > There’s an Endowed Chair “For Tampering with The Unknown”? Who knew?! Hey, I’m just waiting until they put SDMSAB under my name. **Q.E.D**? Hello? ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/22 "2005-09-17T05:06:27Z")
> [@astro](#): > > There’s an Endowed Chair “For Tampering with The Unknown”? Who knew?! All right. Next on the list of things to do when I hit the lottery is endow a chair at Juniata “For Tampering With The Unknown.” ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/23 "2005-09-17T05:13:57Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > Hey, I’m just waiting until they put SDMSAB under my name. **Q.E.D**? Hello? SDMSAB? What would that stand for I wonder? Umm… Straight Dope Magic & Science Advisory Board? ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/24 "2005-09-17T05:57:22Z")
Imbecile! Straight Dope **Mad** Scientist Advisory Board. Must I explain _everything_? Lackbrain! Ninny! _Fzzzzakkkk!_ ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/25 "2005-09-17T06:06:25Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > Imbecile! Straight Dope **Mad** Scientist Advisory Board. Must I explain _everything_? Lackbrain! Ninny! _Fzzzzakkkk!_ Oh no ! The master has exploded in a shower of static sparks! If only he hadn’t insisted on wearing that damn Suit Of Carpet! ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/26 "2005-09-17T06:58:39Z")
What? You haven’t been immolated? How can that be, unless…yes! Of course! Let me just recalibrate the oscillators, reoscillate the calibrators, and reverse the polarity of the neutron flow. And…_Fzzzakkkk!_ ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/27 "2005-09-17T16:57:19Z")
/shuffles feet… ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/28 "2005-09-17T17:38:39Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > What? You haven’t been immolated? How can that be, unless…yes! Of course! Let me just recalibrate the oscillators, reoscillate the calibrators, and reverse the polarity of the neutron flow. And…_Fzzzakkkk!_ You forgot to tweak the flux capacitors. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/29 "2005-09-17T18:19:48Z")
I think this thread has a lot of potential. ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/30 "2005-09-17T18:39:28Z")
Spatial Rift…that’s the worst pun I think I’ve ever seen in a thread. At least top 5. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/31 "2005-09-17T18:44:02Z")
> [@Jman](#): > > Spatial Rift…that’s the worst pun I think I’ve ever seen in a thread. At least top 5. 🙂 Yeah, I got a charge out of it, too. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/32 "2005-09-17T18:46:34Z")
So far, it’s generated more heat than light. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/33 "2005-09-17T19:39:35Z")
> [@Jman](#): > > Spatial Rift…that’s the worst pun I think I’ve ever seen in a thread. At least top 5. 🙂 It’s time to joint the resistance… ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/34 "2005-09-17T21:10:07Z")
I think [the AP’s story](http://newsobserver.com/24hour/weird/story/2726470p-11295817c.html) is more believable. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/35 "2005-09-17T21:57:49Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > It’s time to joint the resistance… Resistance is futile! (if Ω \< 1 ohm) > [@VunderBob](#): > > > [@Case Sensitive](#): > > > > What? You haven’t been immolated? How can that be, unless…yes! Of course! Let me just recalibrate the oscillators, reoscillate the calibrators, and reverse the polarity of the neutron flow. And…Fzzzakkkk! > > You forgot to tweak the flux capacitors. :smack: You fools! You can’t do any of that without realigning the magnetic gyrodyne relays, repolarizing the plasma manifolds, initializing the EPS conduits, flushing the antimatter storage, convoluting the spatial intermix _and_ running a level 2 diagnostic on the whole emitter array. [size=1]Never, but _never_, try to outdo a trekkie in technobabble.\* ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/36 "2005-09-17T22:03:05Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > I think [the AP’s story](http://newsobserver.com/24hour/weird/story/2726470p-11295817c.html) is more believable. Slightly off-topic, but I love this statment: > [@AP](#): > > Burns about 0.79 inches in diameter …ya mean, something like, oohhh, 2.00cm? ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/37 "2005-09-17T23:03:22Z")
> [@Spatial Rift 47](#): > > [size=1]Never, but _never_, try to outdo a trekkie in technobabble.\* But I **can** _outcode_ one any day… 😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2005, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/38 "2005-09-18T01:23:13Z")
> [@Spatial Rift 47](#): > > You fools! You can’t do any of that without realigning the magnetic gyrodyne relays, repolarizing the plasma manifolds, initializing the EPS conduits, flushing the antimatter storage, convoluting the spatial intermix _and_ running a level 2 diagnostic on the whole emitter array. > Never, but _never_, try to outdo a trekkie in technobabble. You aren’t going to try to re-route the power through Engineering? It’s so crazy it just might work! {Honey, I shrunk your code} ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/39 "2005-09-18T02:48:41Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > But I **can** _outcode_ one any day… Ha! I laugh at your puny mortal coding, human! ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2005, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966/40 "2005-09-18T17:13:12Z")
Watt? This isn’t what I ordered! What in the name of Buckminster Fuller are these noodles? No! NO! **NO**! I told you and my other assistants to prepare to pepper in God’s lo mein and I ordered the walnut chicken and a pint of white rice. You, much like the polarity indicators on a common battery, are the wrong way round. Wait a minute! If you switched my instructions, what’s happening in the lab? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-builds-up-a-40-000-volt-charge-of-static-electricity-in-his-clothes/321966.md?page=3)