# Man circumcises himself... with nail clippers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 30, 2009, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489 "2009-06-30T16:32:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/1 "2009-06-30T16:32:10Z")
[Oh. My. Og.](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5694913/Man-uses-nail-clippers-in-DIY-circumcision.html) I’m wincing in pain here and I don’t even HAVE the organ in question. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/2 "2009-06-30T16:41:51Z")
Nail Clippers! Why didn’t I think of that? Doing it with a piece of rusty tin can was a bitch! ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/3 "2009-06-30T16:47:33Z")
> [@River\_Hippie](#): > > Nail Clippers! Why didn’t I think of that? > Doing it with a piece of rusty tin can was a bitch! Rusty tin can? Luxury! I had to use a rubber mallet and a spatula! ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/4 "2009-06-30T16:48:59Z")
Pure extravagance! All we had was two stones and a crow’s beak. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/5 "2009-06-30T16:53:10Z")
You had a beak? I had to use a mean chihuahua. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/6 "2009-06-30T16:53:21Z")
Look at the results though. Oh, it’s so cuticle! ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/7 "2009-06-30T16:55:09Z")
A chihuahua? We had to use our own teeth! ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/8 "2009-06-30T16:55:40Z")
Got to be careful with those at home circumcisions. If you don’t have steady hands you could miss and have this happen to you: dontclickthis.whatingods.name/testicle.jpg ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/9 "2009-06-30T16:57:41Z")
> [@Strinka](#): > > A chihuahua? We had to use our own teeth! If only I could reach! ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/10 "2009-06-30T17:28:59Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > You had a beak? > > I had to use a mean chihuahua. [/Yorkshire working class accent ON] Luxury. We used to have circumcise ourselves using the grindstone at the mill, having PAID the mill owner for the privilege. All while being struck about the head and face by the other laborers with rocks for using up valuable time! And when we got home, our dad would kick us repeatedly in the groin to test our workmanship! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/11 "2009-06-30T18:45:35Z")
I’m guessing the guy’s name _wasn’t_ Jack Dean Tyler. ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/12 "2009-06-30T18:50:34Z")
> [@Amp](#): > > Got to be careful with those at home circumcisions. If you don’t have steady hands you could miss and have this happen to you: dontclickthis.whatingods.name/testicle.jpg Oh your god! That picture will haunt my dreams forever. And why on earth did that man take a picture?? Why wasn’t he running down the street screaming like the damned were after him? I’m going to find that brains surgeon in the article and have him drill out that image from my head. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/13 "2009-06-30T18:53:30Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > I’m wincing in pain here and I don’t even HAVE the organ in question. Reminds me of the guy who decide to fix his gashed scrotum with an industrial stapler. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/14 "2009-06-30T18:59:58Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Reminds me of the guy who decide to fix his gashed scrotum with an industrial stapler. Probably my second favorite urban legend, and it has the virtue of being true. ---
**Author:** ![Floppy\_Joe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3bc359/32.png) [@Floppy\_Joe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floppy_Joe)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/15 "2009-06-30T19:08:19Z")
> [@Mach Tuck](#): > > [/Yorkshire working class accent ON] > > Luxury. > > We used to have circumcise ourselves using the grindstone at the mill, having PAID the mill owner for the privilege. All while being struck about the head and face by the other laborers with rocks for using up valuable time! And when we got home, our dad would kick us repeatedly in the groin to test our workmanship! You try to tell the children of today that, and they won’t believe you. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/16 "2009-06-30T20:09:21Z")
In my day we used organ grinder monkeys. Yeah, you were wrong about what you thought they were really for. And those damn monkeys could get pretty testy as well. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/17 "2009-06-30T20:16:27Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > And those damn monkeys could get pretty testy as well. I never let the monkeys touch my testes, that’s why I had to use the spatula. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/18 "2009-06-30T22:58:46Z")
In my day we waited until the coldest depth of winter, stripped down naked, stuck it in a snowbank, and stood there for three days and three nights until the offending bit of flesh turned black and fell off. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/19 "2009-07-01T00:52:49Z")
I knew a guy in NYC who gave himself a circumcision. However, he went to the library, studied how it was done and then went and got the surgical instruments and used the proper sterilization. Still…he then sat down and did it to, and on, himself. I knew him a few years until I moved away and he claimed to have no adverse effects from his procedure. ---
**Author:** ![Imasquare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Imasquare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imasquare)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489/20 "2009-07-01T01:33:31Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > I knew a guy in NYC who gave himself a circumcision. > However, he went to the library, studied how it was done and then went and got the surgical instruments and used the proper sterilization. > Still…he then sat down and did it to, and on, himself. Why did he do it? Did he use any anesthetic? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-circumcises-himself-with-nail-clippers/501489.md?page=2)