# Man gets penis stuck in toaster **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 9, 2013, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764 "2013-10-09T10:54:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/1 "2013-10-09T10:54:12Z")
A London man is “nursing his knob”, as the [article](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/08/penis-stuck-in-toaster-firefighters_n_4064927.html?utm_hp_ref=tw) puts it, after it somehow got stuck in a toaster. Firefighters had to rescue him. Part of me doesn’t want to know how he got his penis in there, but part of me is actually kind of curious. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/2 "2013-10-09T10:58:47Z")
See, toaster ovens are the way to go. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/3 "2013-10-09T11:06:21Z")
Well I think it’s pretty obvious how it happened. He was trying to bone the toaster. That or he was trying to retrieve some stuck bread and had heard that you’re not supposed to stick a knife in the toaster. But probably the first one. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/4 "2013-10-09T11:15:05Z")
“Somehow.” Riiiiight. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/5 "2013-10-09T11:18:01Z")
That’s the thing about toasters. You insert something cold and soft, and it comes out hot and hard. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/6 "2013-10-09T12:17:11Z")
Obviously not a pop up toaster. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/7 "2013-10-09T12:26:52Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Obviously not a pop up toaster. And obviously not bagel friendly, assuming the dude was circumcised prior to the incident. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/8 "2013-10-09T12:54:16Z")
This kind of stuff happens to me all the time. … Wait, wut? ---
**Author:** ![Tabby\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tabby\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabby_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/9 "2013-10-09T13:00:04Z")
Yeah, but half human half toasters get a bonus to their CON. You take a hit on the WIS, though. Probably inherited it from your father. Who stuck his junk into a toaster. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/10 "2013-10-09T13:15:40Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Obviously not a pop up toaster. Au contraire, he probably put it in the toaster because it, uhhh, “popped him up” so to speak. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/11 "2013-10-09T13:24:26Z")
But was the toaster plugged in at the time? And , ummm…turned on? ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/12 "2013-10-09T13:25:04Z")
Does “Go bone a toaster!” enter the lexicon? ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/13 "2013-10-09T13:25:30Z")
I’m hoping that that bad boy was unplugged. Of all the things to stick your schlong into, why a toaster? I mean… is it particularly, er, soft in there? Even those $100 toasters still have those metal grates in them. ---
**Author:** ![JerrySTL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e274bd/32.png) [@JerrySTL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerrySTL)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/14 "2013-10-09T13:29:35Z")
Must have been a cherry pop-tart in there. ---
**Author:** ![No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/no_me_ayudes_compadre/32/5224_2.png) [@No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/No_Me_Ayudes_Compadre)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/15 "2013-10-09T13:31:23Z")
Obligatory Fletch reference: John Cocktoastin… ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/16 "2013-10-09T13:32:55Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > A London man is “nursing his knob”, as the [article](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/08/penis-stuck-in-toaster-firefighters_n_4064927.html?utm_hp_ref=tw) puts it, after it somehow got stuck in a toaster. Firefighters had to rescue him. > > Part of me doesn’t want to know how he got his penis in there, but part of me is actually kind of curious. Part of me wants to know why he called the fire department. I mean, at some point you’d just pry the toaster apart; but it doesn’t seem like you’d need help for that. Was he hoping the firemen had some trick in their professional experience that could extricate him and save the toaster? ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/17 "2013-10-09T13:36:23Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Part of me wants to know why he called the fire department. I mean, at some point you’d just pry the toaster apart; but it doesn’t seem like you’d need help for that. Was he hoping the firemen had some trick in their professional experience that could extricate him and save the toaster? Maybe it was just a complex scheme to show his penis to firemen. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/18 "2013-10-09T13:45:50Z")
Someone watched way too much Battlestar Galactica. ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/19 "2013-10-09T13:49:50Z")
Instructions unclear; got dick stuck in toaster. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/20 "2013-10-09T13:55:39Z")
> [@JerrySTL](#): > > Must have been a cherry pop-tart in there. …toaster kanoodle? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764.md?page=2)