# Man gets penis stuck in toaster **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 9, 2013, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764 "2013-10-09T10:54:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/61 "2013-10-10T11:09:10Z")
> [@si\_blakely](#): > > That is certainly going a bit far for a bit of crumpet, even for an english chap. “Makes you proud to be British!” - [Winston Churchill](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbEenHXmmy4). ---
**Author:** ![sylmar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@sylmar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sylmar)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/62 "2013-10-10T12:00:31Z")
I think it was just an uncoordinated fellow who realized that with certain appliances it doesn’t take talented fingers to dial the heat up a notch or two. Blow dryers for quickies and a curling iron for when he had time to work the serious kinks out? ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/63 "2013-10-10T12:21:03Z")
Seems like an appropriate place to link one of the most popular threads on another board: [Things I Learned From My Patients](http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=257985). I’m reasonably sure the firemen could have removed the toaster by getting the giant saw they use to take cars apart. Drag that thing into the guy’s house, turn on the generator, then fire up that giant whirling saw… he’d shrink down to nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/64 "2013-10-10T12:33:01Z")
Wouldn’t packing the whole deal in ice (after unplugging, of course) also cause some shrinkage? ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/65 "2013-10-10T12:36:49Z")
Mind you I bet it was even worse when his vacuum cleaner found out about it. But then again a man’s appliance is always the last to know. ---
**Author:** ![DrumBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e79b87/32.png) [@DrumBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrumBum)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/66 "2013-10-10T12:42:53Z")
I flashed back to an episode from the Big Bang Theory where Howard makes use of the robotic arm. I’m not sure what this says about the quality or quantity of ladies in London… ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/67 "2013-10-10T13:10:03Z")
I just don’t understand how a penis could get that stuck, perhaps there was a sharp edge and that was cutting into him is the only way I could think it may have gone down. I have a hard time thinking of how the penis got in the toaster in the first place, perhaps some really kinky type of submission/fear thing used in sex play. Perhaps some lets get even with this person, I’m sticking my penis in her toaster thing. But I really can’t see someone getting off in it, but to each his own. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/68 "2013-10-10T16:06:01Z")
> [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](#): > > “Makes you proud to be British!” - [Winston Churchill](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbEenHXmmy4). To be fair, the one thing a Royal Guardsman is good at is _standing at attention_ in all conditions 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/69 "2013-10-10T16:43:53Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Not sick, exactly, but certainly not well-bred. O sry. Didnt realize that debutantes would be reading a thread entitled “Man Gets Penis Stuck in Toaster” 😃 Did it escape your attention that the link was marked in big red letters: “Warning: graphic. NSFW” ? And you opened it why? ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/70 "2013-10-10T17:23:09Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > I just don’t understand how a penis could get that stuck, perhaps there was a sharp edge and that was cutting into him is the only way I could think it may have gone down. The toaster went down on him, alright. It just didn’t pop back up.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/71 "2013-10-10T17:29:17Z")
> [@dogbutler](#): > > The toaster went down on him, alright. It just didn’t pop back up.😉 Are you telling us that the toaster wasn’t a pop-tart? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/72 "2013-10-10T18:05:58Z")
> [@SerafinaPekala](#): > > O sry. Didnt realize that debutantes would be reading a thread entitled “Man Gets Penis Stuck in Toaster” 😃 Did it escape your attention that the link was marked in big red letters: “Warning: graphic. NSFW” ? And you opened it why? To make a bread pun, d’oh! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/73 "2013-10-10T19:42:50Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > If you’re going to fuck a toaster, how do you decide which slot? It was a threesome! “You’re next, my dear. I only have one, unfortunately.” ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/74 "2013-10-10T19:52:48Z")
Seems like a crumby thing to happen to a guy. I’d have got pretty browned off. Depending on the setting. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/75 "2013-10-10T20:40:04Z")
Maybe he needed to dig something out of the toaster and all his forks were dirty. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/76 "2013-10-10T22:11:27Z")
And I thought that his penis got stuck in this kind of [toaster](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U-Roy). :smack: ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/77 "2013-10-11T00:55:01Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > If you’re going to fuck a toaster, how do you decide which slot? Isn’t the slot for one slice clearly labeled? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/78 "2013-10-11T02:09:55Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Yep. I’d manage. > > Maybe it’s a Brit thing? “Oh my, I seem to have gotten me willie stick in the crumpet warmer. I’ll just finish my tea, then ring up the bobbies to come 'ave a look-see”. He thought of using Cockney rhyming but “'ave a butchers” brings up wrong connotations of their solution. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/79 "2013-10-11T03:32:59Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > He thought of using Cockney rhyming but “'ave a butchers” brings up wrong connotations of their solution. 😃 I do so love my friends cross the pond. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764/80 "2013-10-11T03:41:27Z")
What must have been going through his mind when he finally resigned himself to the fact that yes, there was no other recourse but to call for help. He should try the microwave next time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-gets-penis-stuck-in-toaster/670764.md?page=5)