# MAN-HANDS! Your most Sienfeldian break-up **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 10, 2000, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375 "2000-10-10T04:50:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2001, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/81 "2001-02-14T20:01:19Z")
Not exactly a dumping, but I once aborted a bar pick-up attempt because an otherwise hot and intelligent girl said Paul Coffey was a better defender than Ray Borque. ---
**Author:** ![bubbles\_hi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@bubbles\_hi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubbles_hi)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2001, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/82 "2001-02-14T20:06:06Z")
Okay, now I’m tottaly confused and now frightened, I never knew an issue such as how to deal with urination could possibly doom future relationships. Now help me out, I’m young, and stupid, how do I go to the bathroom in an emergency situation when I’m out with my girl? All I know is i making dang sure to go before any long hikes with my girlfreind. ---
**Author:** ![Chinaco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71c47a/32.png) [@Chinaco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chinaco)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2001, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/83 "2001-02-14T22:31:07Z")
I once dumped a guy because he refused to kiss me on the mouth. He had no problems being physically intimate in every other way, though, and was generally a very affectionate guy. Said it was just how he was brought up. Kissing on the mouth was just taboo, I suppose. Especially between family members. Is this weird, or am I weird because I think a peck on the lips between close friends, or family, or deeper kisses between intimate individuals is fine?? I like kissing, dammit! So I dumped him and moved in with a guy who doesn’t like me to watch him pee. He doesn’t like to be watched doing anything in the bathroom for that matter, but I’m not dumping him over it. It’s kindof ironic, though, because the non-kissing guy _I_ had a hard time peeing within earshot of. I just couldn’t make it work. I think my body was trying to tell me something. Anyway, that’s my contribution. I’m glad I finally had someplace to share that tidbit. Thanks for listening. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![trose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f9ae1b/32.png) [@trose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trose)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/84 "2001-02-17T18:46:00Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Five:_ > trose, haven’t you figured it out yet? > > _We’re all Roy!_ Honey, sometimes I think the whole friggin _world_ is Roy. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Saysha:_ > So, what happened with Roy, anyway? The breakup was typical of the whole relationship: Me: So why haven’t you called? Roy: We broke up two weeks ago. Me: We had sex last week. Roy: Oh. Uh … that was a mistake. I’m not bitter, really I’m not. No, _really!_ ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/85 "2001-02-17T19:13:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wolfman \* > \*\*Not exactly a dumping, but I once aborted a bar pick-up attempt because an otherwise hot and intelligent girl said Paul Coffey was a better defender than Ray Borque. \*\* Uh-oh. Well, I guess you and I would never work out then either. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/86 "2001-02-17T20:39:15Z")
YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST PEE-SHY!! Sometimes its hard to go if there’s pressure… I mean… come on… he said he had to pee and you said OK and just stood their looking. ---
**Author:** ![Wicked\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/2acd7d/32.png) [@Wicked\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wicked_Blue)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/87 "2001-02-17T21:48:24Z")
Whammo, I agree completely. I am a private bathroom person. I have Bathroom Rules: 1- Door is closed and locked each and every time. 2- Don’t talk to me through the door…in fact, don’t be near the door. 3- Don’t run in there as soon as I walk out. 4- No, you can’t use the toilet while I’m in the shower. Obviously, ‘watersports’ are also out, but that’s on another set of Blue’s Rules. 😉 Rose ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2001, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/88 "2001-02-18T01:19:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Whammo \* > \*\*I mean… come on… he said he had to pee and you said OK and just stood their looking. \*\* Well, I wasn’t going to stare; I was expecting him to turn around or something, but certainly not completely leave the vicinity. ---
**Author:** ![meat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6bbea6/32.png) [@meat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meat)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/89 "2001-03-19T18:36:43Z")
I’ve gotten so much enjoyment from this thread that I just had to add my .02: 1. not really a break up but a funny one: a friend and I met 2 girls at the park, made a date for that evening. We went to pick them up at their apartment. I have this truly awful habit of inspecting people’s medicine cabinets. I used to work in a hospital, and I always liked quizzing myself on the Physicians Desk Reference (it’s pill guide for prescription drugs)… Well, anyway, one of the girls had Acyclovir (herpes suppression medication) and birth control pills in her cabinet. I told my friend, and we left while they were drying their hair in the other bathroom. Herpes is forever, ya know? 2. I dumped another because she had really bad breath. I even planned a date early in the morning specifically so I could see if she _ever_ had good breath. NOPE! It still stunk. On the upside, she gave really good BJs… connection? I didn’t care, good hygiene is a must… NEXT! 3. Went out with a girl, she dumped me on the date to go out with another dude. 2 months later, she called me up to go out again (presumably things didnt work out with the other guy). We went out for 3 months, things were nice, she was cool. I dumped her on Christmas morning out of spite for dumping me on the date 5 months earlier, HO HO HO! Revenge is a dish, best served COLD. I had a couple years of bad karma after that little incident, but hey, at least I wasn’t dumped because I was TOO NICE 😉 About the pee thing, what the hell is up with you people? They can share intimate, emotional moments but not bodily functions? Ditch 'em! ---
**Author:** ![Major\_Feelgud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3be4f8/32.png) [@Major\_Feelgud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Major_Feelgud)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/90 "2001-03-20T07:25:43Z")
Come on you guys, you are all liars. I admit it. The number #1 reason is: 1. Won’t swallow. My other reasons are: 2. Has ugly hands and feet, no matter how good the rest is. 3. Cannot dress well. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/91 "2001-03-20T12:47:30Z")
I started going out with a guy who was wearing a bandana with marijuana leaves all over it… 16 months later I dumped him because he was a druggie… who’da thunk? I dumped a guy because he was suffering from intense depression, and was bringing me down. 'Cause that’s the kind of caring person I am. I regretted it for a long time, until we were finally reunited 2 years after we broke up. I was able to overcome the guilt I felt, and when I broke up with him 18 months down the track it was for all the right reasons (I couldn’t stand him anymore). I broke up with another guy for not coming to see me when he said he would. It was like the third time he’d told me he was coming over, and then didn’t show up. I stand by that decision - found out later that he was sleeping with my best friend, which is why he didn’t make it. Finally, I dated the King of All Jerks for 7 months. I put up with him even though he was the dumbest person I’ve ever met. The final straw came the day I found objects under his bed that were… dubious. There was a pair of fishnet stockings (his size), other women’s clothing (his size), a vibrator box (but no vibrator), and a magazine called “Beautiful Man”, which only had pictures of naked men in it. Gave him the benefit of the doubt, asked him about these things, to which he replied “They’re my own personal, private possessions and (you) had no right to go through them”. I said “Ok, I think it’s time we saw other people.” He’s married now… I wonder how long it will be before he comes out of the closet? ---
**Author:** ![Melpomene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/0ea827/32.png) [@Melpomene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melpomene)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/92 "2001-03-20T15:59:07Z")
This is a great thread! What a kick it’s been giving me! Okay, so what do I have to contribute? Not much…but these might be relevant. 1. Went out on one date with a guy. We got along all right, but it wans’t anything great to begin with. I was just looking to have a normal “dating” experience. All throughout the movie, all I could think of was the fact that his breath absolutely _reeked_! I mean, the kind of halitosis where the person doesn’t even have to be speaking or facing you to smell it’s rotten awfulness. Ich! Not to mention that afterwards, we went to his place and sat in the Spa, where he proceeded to try and seductively suck on my toes. It was disgusting. 2. Another one-dater. We went to a movie, then to a little bar afterwards for martinis. Nice guy, good-looking, flirty, etc. We had a nice night, I would have seen him again…made him a cheesecake, took it to his work…only to find out he had been arrested! :eek: 3. Hi Opal!!! 4. We had great sparks. The chemistry was amazing. We touched and the shock could be seen by outsiders. The conversations fairly dull but he was amazingly attractive and we went out a lot. It was fairly innocent, until one night we headed to the Drive-In. We lounged in the back of his Blazer, he made a move to kiss me, I reciprocated…and nothing. It was like kissing a dead fish. Blegh. He was so put off by my rejection of him that he promptly went off and told some mutual friends that I fucked him 2x that night. Bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2001, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/93 "2001-03-25T22:23:53Z")
Ivar, I feel your pain. I just broke up with a girl recently - and afterwards, I made up a list of \*\* Hints that I should Dump The Girl I am Seeing: \*\* 1. Her nickname is Rocky. 2. She never removes her sock (NEVER REMOVES HER SOCKS) 3. Her nickname might be Rocky, but I’ve nicknamed her the “we was” girl because of her tendancy to say, “We was going to go to the …” 4. When she walks into a bar, everyone yells, “ROCKY!” like she’s Norm from Cheers. 5. This is a visual one…she dances by bouncing back and forth between her feet. AAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!! Nevermind that she was a box of rocks. Nice breasts though (see? I can always think of something nice to say). Tibs. ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2001, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/94 "2001-03-25T22:38:20Z")
Only once in my life have I dumped someone, and it was not so much Sienfeldian as Costanzan. I went out with a certain girl for about a year, and at first everything was great. Nine months later, we have nothing in common anymore. Other than sex, which was great. But just when I began to vaguely think that the relationship was moribund and that we should break up, a friend of mine tells me he just ran into my girl ans she was telling anyone withing earshot that we had broken up. So the next morning I called her early enough that I knew she wouldn’t be out of bed yet. Just so I could dump her first, before she could dump me. It was no big deal; at least I had hand :D. ---
**Author:** ![Randy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2acd7d/32.png) [@Randy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randy)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2001, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/95 "2001-03-26T05:19:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Skarecrow \* > \*\* > > 1. Broke up with a girl because she always smelled like onions. > > 2. Broke up with a girl because she incessantly sang tunes from “Little Mermaid” > > 3. Broke up with a girl because she gave me a hickey. Unacceptable, I view hickies as white trash proofs of purchase, and was livid when I woke up after a night of great sex and saw it there like a neon sign flashing “Bring your case of mountain dew over to my trailer honey!” \*\* Hey…, this Thread is supposed to be BAD reasons for breaking up with someone…oh well anyway… I once broke up with a very cute RedHead, and I really like RedHeads, because she had bad breath. The weird thing was, there was nothing else wrong with her, and I couldn’t think of any good reason to give her, so I just told her not to ask me why. Another time I broke up with this girl because I made her laugh and she farted. When I was 18, this girlfriend of mine would sing the Andy Gibb song “For So Long” to me. She would change the line, _me and you been finding each other for so long_ to, _me and Randy been finding each other for so long_ So even though she was 16, I told her she was too young for me. On the flip side though, the reasons girls have broken up with me are much stupider.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scarred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/54ee81/32.png) [@Scarred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarred)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/96 "2001-04-04T14:55:59Z")
I stopped seeing a girl in college because she practically ripped the tongue out of my mouth. We got along great in every way. But when we kissed, she would suck my tongue so hard I could feel blood vessels snapping. Your tongue is one of those things you don’t think about until it hurts every time it moves. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/97 "2001-04-04T15:40:40Z")
I dated this girl for _ **FOUR** _ years. I endured many things in this relationship: 1. Her accusing me of cheating. I didn’t. 2. Her accusing me of cheating with my best MALE friend. I didn’t. 3. Her telling me that my female friends were NOT friends if she never met them. 4. Her deciding that she wanted to become…virtuous all over again (ie, cutting me off) when she saw we weren’t heading for marriage. I finally broke up with her for singing too loud over the radio in the car, and getting upset when she couldn’t read emails sent to me. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/98 "2001-04-04T16:06:44Z")
I’m glad this thread got ressurrected, as I missed it the first few rounds. This wasn’t quite a breakup–as the guy had already dumped me. We stayed friends and at some point he decided he wanted me back. I wouldn’t do it, though, because one of these times we were together as friends, he saw a flock of Canada Geese and called them ducks. I felt, at the time, that it betrayed a level of cluelessness about the world that was unforgiveable. Especially to a gal who grew up in the central flyway. Nope, I refused to get back together, and justified it to everyone by telling them about the goose/duck mixup. No one felt the same sense of outrage that I did, however. Go figure. I also couldn’t feel attracted to one guy because he had a lot of acne scarring. That’s not Seinfeldian so much as shallow as hell. He’s a wonderful person, found someone less shallow than me, and we were delighted to run into them at a seminar on “Are You Ready To Have a Baby?” Our babies were born within months of each other. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![unixrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3ec8ea/32.png) [@unixrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unixrat)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/99 "2001-04-04T16:19:06Z")
Not a romantic breakup, but my wife and I have stopped being friends with another couple because the woman in that relationship is so damn damn damn dumb. Not just dumb, but aggressively stupid. She was a ‘forwarder’ - anything and everything - multiple times a day. Jokes, urban legends, chain mail, you name it. And she _believed_ them, every single one and nothing would change her mind. If you tried to refute it you were either ‘in on it’ or ‘clueless’ or ‘cold-hearted’ or (invent your own reason). When we’d get together she would spew horrible ‘facts’ no matter what we were talking about. “Cats will die if you cut off their whiskers”, she’d say. And then she changed churches. She was just a run of the mill Lutheran, but then she changed to one of those churches with ‘United’ and ‘Community’ in their name. Whoo boy. There was no end to the stream then. Conspiracy theories, angel stories, possessions… We finally quit talking to them altogether. And yet I _still_ get the occasional forward. (THREE yesterday…) ---
**Author:** ![raych](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@raych](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raych)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375/100 "2001-04-29T11:30:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by floating cheese \* > \*\*well, I feel a certain sense of irony in posting. I have spent most of this day waiting for a girl to call about going out tonight. Anyhow. She’s not calling now (why?? Dammit). > > I had to break up with a six month girlfriend because she wore these overall things every once in a while. It made her look like an oversized toddler. Absolutely ruined it. Oh, and the sex was awful. I’m fairly certain that was my fault though. > > LAUREN, IF YOU’RE READING THIS, CALL!!! \*\* Do you REALLY think shes gonna call if shes seen you just admit to being “awful” in bed??? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-hands-your-most-sienfeldian-break-up/36375.md?page=6)