# Man! I feel like a Doper!...almost **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 12, 2002, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495 "2002-11-12T23:07:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Typo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Typo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2002, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/1 "2002-11-12T23:07:58Z")
After lurking for a few months, I finally decided to come out of hiding. I cautiously posted (in the Pit, no less), got the inevitable hamster pause that I had heard oh-so-much about, and waited with my heart in my mouth - no double post! My next post was even more daring - I included a smiley (gasp!). My last post included an URL and bolding, and I got it right. At least - it looks okay to me. I haven’t seen any complaints yet. So far I have yet to attract the notice of anybody - I’ve been sliding in under the radar, so to speak. Of course, I haven’t done anything noteworthy yet - or Pitworthy, either. (Hey, I’m a newbie…give it time - oh, wait. Hmmm…remembering recent events…Okay, I’m a **cautious** newbie, how’s that?) So - truly mundane and pointless (except to me - it’s a weird little thrill to join the ranks of posters here). Am I worthy? Will I be flamed? Will the celebrities (you know who you are) ever post in a thread of mine? One can only dream… Thank you for listening. We now return you to your normally scheduled lives. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2002, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/2 "2002-11-12T23:29:13Z")
[nitpick] Your first post was in a MPSIMS thread entitled **More eBay morons…**. [This post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=2565935#post2565935) to be exact. [/nitpick] 😉 Welcome to the boards, **Typo**. Most of us felt like you when we first started posting here, just relax a little and you’ll soon get into the swing of things (although seeing as your first post was about supersizing a turd, some would say you already are). Have fun, Kal ---
**Author:** ![Typo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Typo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2002, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/3 "2002-11-12T23:33:09Z")
Wow - I’ve been nitpicked. I don’t know whether to blush or just :D! Guess the nerves from posting a thread blew my memory all to heck. And I was feeling so GOOD about not double posting or screwing up the code. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2002, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/4 "2002-11-12T23:34:13Z")
ah, memories - you remind me of me when I was a newbie. Low key. Cautious. Inoffensive. Tentative. And what has it gotten me? No, seriously, I’m asking, what has it gotten me? After all, it’s all about me. So get off your newbie butt and start acting like a proper groupie. 😃 Of course you’re worthy, until you prove yourself otherwise. [sub]Geez, I say that as if I’m some sort of authority.[/sub] But if you have been lurking as you said, you know the drill. C’mon in, the water’s fine! Incidentally, who are these alleged celebrities? Do you think they’ll lend me a coupla bucks till payday? ---
**Author:** ![Typo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Typo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2002, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/5 "2002-11-12T23:38:24Z")
Well, as far as I’m concerned, you definitely rank among the celebrities. Does that work for groupiness or do I need to send chocolate? Thanks for the welcome, FCM (if I may call you that)! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2002, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/6 "2002-11-13T00:05:10Z")
Me? A celebrity? Nah, I wouldn’t lend money to me, but it’s kind of you to think so. Chocolate works just fine - obviously you _have_ been stalking me… I’m properly impressed! And you can call me whatever you wish, as long as it’s not during the dinner hour or after 9PM. And if a man answers, it’s not me. ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2002, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/7 "2002-11-13T00:19:06Z")
Um…important question here. Do you have a cat, and if so, what does its breath smell like? Think before you answer… ---
**Author:** ![Typo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Typo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2002, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/8 "2002-11-13T00:48:12Z")
Catfood, what else? I don’t have to do the Ralph Wiggum thingies, do I? ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2002, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/9 "2002-11-13T01:04:05Z")
When I first saw this thread title, I thought it was going to be a Shania Twain song parody. Ah, well… Since I brought it up, I’d better do an _Obligatory Providing of the Lyrics_ **Man! I Feel Like a Doper!** I’m logging on tonight I’m feelin’ alright I’m not gonna lurk no more! Wanna make some posts Join the teeming host My post count’s two, now three, now four! Though I’m still a newbie I’m feeling really groovy I’m gonna tell this schmuck he’s wrong! Heading to the Pit Now I click submit What’s taking that damn hamster so long? (chorus) The best thing about being a Doper Is that I can post mundane and pointless things! Oh-oh-oh, staying up late, join in some debates, Jack Chick, political schtick Oh-oh-oh, my last post was lame, Yeah, I hope I don’t get flamed. Oh-oh-oh, Cecil’s a god Watch out for the mods Boards crash, Og Smash! Oh-oh-oh, I just can’t stop Yeah, I’ll post until I drop. Man! I feel like a Doper! Saying “Hi” to Opal. Gosh I really hope I’ll Get noticed by the celebrities I’ll try not to be phony I’m not a one trick pony So Fenris please don’t pick on me! (repeat chorus) ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2002, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/10 "2002-11-13T01:25:49Z")
_Excellent_ **Monstre**! Made me sing and laugh. Welcome aboard, **Typo**! I have a good feeling about you, based on just a little bit. ---
**Author:** ![Typo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Typo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2002, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/11 "2002-11-13T02:14:53Z")
Wow, \*\* Monstre!\*\* Loved it - thanks! After I had the title, I realized why it sounded familiar, but I just didn’t have the nerve - I’m definitely glad you came along to remedy the situation! And thanks to you, too, **Ringo**. I’ll try to live up to expectations. :desperately trying to think of something amusing: Oh well, tomorrow is another day, right? Now…gotta work on a sig at some point…hmmmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2002, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/12 "2002-11-13T02:28:06Z")
Welcome, yon newbie. Nice screen name, by the way. Don’t bother staying low-key … the worse that can happen is getting banned. Bwa-ha-ha!!! [sup]Brought to you by the friends of Bowser for Ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom.[/sup] Enjoy your stay. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2002, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/13 "2002-11-13T03:03:00Z")
Ooh, a newbie! Can we keep him, dad? Huh? Can we pet him and feed him and … ewwwwwwww. Uh-uh. I dunwanna clean _that_ up… [sub]Welcome to the boards:)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2002, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/14 "2002-11-13T03:05:18Z")
Welcome to the SDMB, **Typo**! May all of your future posts be free of your namesake. **Monstre** , that was brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2002, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/15 "2002-11-13T03:11:33Z")
Wow. I really wish that I’d tried this as a newbie, rather than diving head-first into an abortion debate. Welcome, Typo. My sage advice: Stay far away from any thread about Isreal, gun control, or abortion. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2002, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/16 "2002-11-13T03:19:07Z")
… or by **Justhink**. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2002, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/17 "2002-11-13T03:23:59Z")
> [@](#): > > Welcome, Typo. My sage advice: > Stay far away from any thread about Isreal, gun control, or abortion. Not to mention threads on gay rights, religion vs. atheism, and… and… Englebert Humperdinck. 😉 Tell you what – it’s probably best just to stay out of “Great Debates” entirely. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![fizzestothetop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e79b87/32.png) [@fizzestothetop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizzestothetop)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2002, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/18 "2002-11-13T03:38:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > Ooh, a newbie! Can we keep him, dad? Huh? Can we pet him and feed him and … > > ewwwwwwww. Uh-uh. I dunwanna clean _that_ up… Now I told you young man what would happen when you brought another newbie into this house, now clean that mess up right now! 🙂 Welcome to the boards **Typo**. I’ve been here a year and I’m still not sure if I’m a newbie or not. I’ve got a low post count but I’ve been around for awhile…I guess I’m just a tweener. Welcome just the same and try not to get too addicted while you’re here. Trust me it’ll take a lot more than a 12 step program to kick this habit. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2002, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/19 "2002-11-13T03:44:27Z")
Welcome to the SDMB, **Typo**. There aren’t many things that you can wrong here, just keep yer nose clean, stay away from GD if your not up on the topic, be nice, spell to best of your ability, don’t be a weenie and if you ever make a list, put ‘_Hi Opal_’ on #3, people will love ya for it. Take care. ---
**Author:** ![Typo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Typo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2002, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495/20 "2002-11-13T03:48:53Z")
Hmmm…lots of sage advice here! Let’s see - **iampunha** , I’ll volunteer the information that your new newbie is female before you go checking for yourself. And I really don’t like my tail pulled. 😃 As far as the rest of you guys - if I stay out of those threads, what’s left? Thanks for the welcome and advice! I’m going to save this thread somewhere for all the future “why ya gotta beat up on the newbie” threads. You guys are great! Ohhhhh…:singing: \ Montezuma I’d be flamin’ And other names be namin’ If I only had the nerve… I’d be postin’ every topic I’d be blastin’ the myopic If I only had the nerve… I’d engage with His4Ever and reinvent the lever I’d be witty and be clever And knock all trolls out forever - If I only had the nerve! \ And Humperdinck…that’s a thread of a different color. You all have absolutely MADE MY DAY! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-i-feel-like-a-doper-almost/136495.md?page=2)