Cats don’t show pain as you would expect. My younger cat of 15 years started to slow down noticeably in the last 2 days of her life and I found her lying in the litter box. It turns out she had kidney problems that were not manifested by her behavior. By appearances she went fast but she was probably in distress long before that.
I understand how people feel toward pets, but first of all you have to be realistic about things. If you love something, whether it’s a person or a gerbil you put their interests before yourself.
If the dog needs to be put down, it’s not pleasent, but letting it suffer so someone can say
“goodbye,” realistically is only self serving to the brother.
50 years from now no one is going to remember the dog or the brother was ever alive, so I would put the dog to sleep and that is that.
Compassion is a valuable asset, but compassion like anything can be misplaced.
Agreed. The cat may not be miserable now - which at least means you can perhaps have a little more time with him - but you know how it’ll go soon enough.
We had a similar situation with our fellow, 20+ years ago. He had feline leukemia and had had health issues off and on, but was otherwise fat and happy and overall a truly wonderful companion. Then he quit eating, lost most of his fat, started moving more slowly, started limping… he’d still come when we rattled the container of treats (though he wouldn’t eat them), and he’d still crawl onto our lap and purr, but he clearly preferred to be off by himself.
One thing you can ask though: does the vet make housecalls for this sort of thing? When we finally had our cat euthanized, they did so. The cat loathed the car and loathed the vet, and we (and the vet) saw no reason to make him suffer through the stress of going to That Hated Place.
GameHat, I’m so sorry to hear about your dog. I’m glad you were there to step up for him and spare him more suffering.
It’s hard to be in the decision-making position. We had to have our cat put down last year, and looking back I think we should’ve done it sooner than we did. I think I knew it was inevitable when we looked all over and finally found her hiding in the closet (she was well into her teens and had kidney disease). Before that she wasn’t terribly active, but would hop up on the bed with us and come out for her food and water.
Things went downhill pretty quickly, and we took her to the vet. The vet thought she was declining, but didn’t recommend putting her to sleep at that point. But over the next few days, she rapidly got worse. We’d find her lying on the floor next to her dishes or her litter box, and she peed on herself a few times–she was just too weak to do anything anymore. We called our vet and she came to our house to put the kitty to sleep. We held her between us, on her little bed, sitting in her favorite spot in front of the fireplace.
I think what made us delay was the fear that there was still something we could do to help her, or that we were giving up on her when she might have been able to get better. Now, of course, that doesn’t make sense, but at the time we were both afraid we were ending her life prematurely.
GameHat, that is a sad ending for your story, the poor fellow didn’t need to suffer that much. at least he didn’t have to suffer longer.
I just wanted to ad a postscript for my story. I went to the vet steeling myself for doing what had to be done. Well I guess my cat wasn’t quite ready to go yet, he made a show of meowing and purring being effectionate and active. It was enough that, despite his emaciated state and loss of 2 pounds in 3 months, the vet uninetentionally helped to change my mind.
He has had a repreive of 5 days, however today I am taking him in.
As of Monday he has deteriorated. I found him beside my bedroom door lying in a puddle of his own urine.
Last night he started having trouble getting up and now he staggars a little when he walks and his breathing has become heavy. He lies around by himself and although he still has an insatiable appetite it’s obvious he’s not doing well. I can no longer be selfish and keep him around.
It was amazing how quickly he turned about. This time around I have no doubts so I am at peace with my choice. I’ll be with him 'till the end and I’ll miss him greatly.
I’m so sorry to hear that.
Our cat that I mentioned above kind of did the same thing. She’d rally when we’d take her to the vet and then would worsen when we got her home. Our vet said that sometimes they’ll try to hide how sick they are when they feel vulnerable (like at the vet’s office), or will sometimes put on a brave show for their owners.
Your poor little guy, and poor you too. It’s a hard choice to make, but I’m glad you’re going to do this thing for him. Hold him close so it’s the last thing he’s aware of–being loved and safe with his favorite person.
That IS SO much better if you can arrange it. You may have call around to find a vet who can/will do it. My sad story regarding this is about 3 months ago in the BBQ pit, titled something like “Fuck, here goes the cat”. There might be some useful details in there regarding vet/last days issues.
well it is done. That was a horrible experience. His veins were so small that the vet had to try both legs for teh final needle. I stayed right through the bitter end. I even felt his skin go cold. tough drive home. I had a few drinks and now I have to deal with the empty hallway andfor the first time in 15 years or so him not pestering me for food when I wake up.
damn who’d think youn could feel so much sorrow for a stupid cat.
thanks to those who responded and I’msorry to have hijacked this thread…
So sorry for your loss, Kingpengvin. It’s hard to let a loved one go.
No thread hijack here. Kingpengvin, it’s no consolation, but your kitty is at peace now. What matters is that you loved him until the end.
/raises a drink for loved pets that have gone
It IS horrible, I hope you will find a new cat soon. It helps a lot. The new cat will never be the same but it will still be better than none.
When my old cat died I was so lucky that I got one of her great great grandchildren and she fit in right away. I still remember the wait (four months) as a very depressing time. I thought I saw the old cat all the time out of the corner of my eye and then remembered.
I just had to have my little cat Theodore put to sleep on Monday.
My wife had to drive home, because I couldn’t have seen the road.
It sucks. It really does. But it was the right thing to do.
I will still occasionally “see” one of our dear departed kitties out of the corner of my eye. The other night my husband and I were playing cards, and every time I’d glance into the kitchen, I’d swear I was seeing Roger, our late tuxedo cat, on the counter. It was a white bag next to our utensil holder that looked kind of like his markings, but it was a weird thing. Naughty boy, even his ghost insists on getting up on the counters.
kingpengvin, RickJay, I’m so sorry about your kitties. It’s such a hard thing to do. But it’s best for them to go out with dignity and without suffering, so thank you for loving them enough to do that incredibly hard thing.
Sorry to hear about that RickJ. It’s rough. I’m glad you had someone with you.
I was driving home alone in the Rain. My worst moment was as I left the room with him still lying there. ( he was already gone for a while, I couldn’t stay anymore and didn’t want to watch them carry him out)
I had his carrier and a little girl asked me what was in it. All I could say was “nothing,” and I left as quickly as I could and broke down in the car.
Moonstarsun, I think I know what you mean. This morning our last remaining cat, My wife’s, was mewing for his food. I could have sworn I could hear my guy out there as well.
Our dog had reached an age where he had more and more difficulty lifting his hindquarters. We’d help him up when he needed, we bathed him often, but he had more and more difficulty. One day I realized his vision had gotten to where he could hardly see, he was making his way around the house from memory. About the same time he just wasn’t able to lift himself much at all. He had aged so much, and was a shadow of his former self. It was time.
Our family discussed it, kids and parents, and we all agreed it was time to let him go. Together, we took him to his vet. After he’d been given the shot, we all stayed with him, petting him, hugging him, reassuring him, till his eyes were closed and he was out. The kids left, and I stayed with him till he stopped breathing.
I was very proud of my kids that day. Relating the story later, I was shocked by how many people felt it was inappropriate for the kids to be there. They were all teens, they’d lost close family members before. He was as much a part of our family as any of us. We couldn’t, wouldn’t, leave a member of our family to die alone.
My sympathies to everyone in this thread.
I had to put my sweet old Norwegian Elkhound Gizmo to sleep 2 and a 1/2 weeks ago. He was my best buddy for 15 years. He’s been losing a lot of mobility for a few months, and he got much worse in just his last few days. I still miss him horribly. My other dog Zilla makes this a little easier, but she’s not my first dog and the best dog that I will ever have. I still see him out of the corner of my eye, and look to make sure I don’t step on him when I get up in the middle of the night.
I’ve had three pets put to sleep in the last 3 years. 
I had my two littermate kitties put to sleep within two months of each other. They were 17. One had both kidney and heart problems, and the treatments contradict each other. The other had lymphoma.
A friend told me that it’s better for the dogs sake to let them go two weeks early than 2 hours too late. I took comfort in that, and hope some of you might, too.