# man misses first two years of his son's life to finish a sailing trip - was he a jerk? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 18, 2010, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-misses-first-two-years-of-his-sons-life-to-finish-a-sailing-trip-was-he-a-jerk/543719 "2010-06-18T22:12:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2010, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-misses-first-two-years-of-his-sons-life-to-finish-a-sailing-trip-was-he-a-jerk/543719/101 "2010-06-21T03:18:49Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Just throwing a question out here–what if the mom decided she wanted to go on the boat and after giving birth, left the baby with extended family or a nanny for two years. Is that okay? Absolutely. As long as the baby is given adequate food and care, why does it matter who provides it? ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2010, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-misses-first-two-years-of-his-sons-life-to-finish-a-sailing-trip-was-he-a-jerk/543719/102 "2010-06-21T16:02:17Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > But if you’re working or getting an education, you can at least see your child some of the time. Never seeing your child for two years for something that’s more or less optional does seem kind of selfish to me. Of course it was a different situation, but in my uncle’s case, he was defecting to the west from Communism, so he couldn’t see his kids (who stayed behind in the old country) until his case was resolved, which took a few years. Meanwhile the kids were under the care of their grandmother. Eventually the politics were sorted out and the kids could join their father in the U.S. It was a difficult time but in the long run much, much better for the kids, who are now adults and very productive U.S. citizens. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2010, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-misses-first-two-years-of-his-sons-life-to-finish-a-sailing-trip-was-he-a-jerk/543719/103 "2010-06-21T16:13:49Z")
I guess it is a case of just different opinions. If you have to be away from your kid, that’s fine, but why have kids if you’re going to opt to be away from them for so long? I don’t think we’re going to convince each other. I guess we can disagree on this but agree that if your pantless baby is on a restaurant table in a burning SUV, you should…um, shoot to kill? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RetroVertigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@RetroVertigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RetroVertigo)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2010, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-misses-first-two-years-of-his-sons-life-to-finish-a-sailing-trip-was-he-a-jerk/543719/104 "2010-06-21T16:32:54Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > What if instead of a sailing trip he volunteered to go on a deep space expedition? Or volunteered for military service during wartime? Not that the two situations are similar, but there are many different ways to voluntarily leave behind a child that wouldn’t be looked at the same. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-misses-first-two-years-of-his-sons-life-to-finish-a-sailing-trip-was-he-a-jerk/543719/105 "2010-06-21T18:11:13Z")
It’s OK; in a few years Stowe (now doddering a bit and perhaps more mindful of what’s \*truly \*important in life) will attempt to bond with his son, who will respond “what I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the yacht keys— see you later can I have them please?” after which the elder Stowe will drop dead from an overdose of maudlin sentimentality. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2010, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-misses-first-two-years-of-his-sons-life-to-finish-a-sailing-trip-was-he-a-jerk/543719/106 "2010-06-21T22:50:28Z")
VT, damn you to hell. 🙂 ". . . Little boy blue and the man in the moon . . . " (Because the only way to stop suffering is to pass the infection.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-misses-first-two-years-of-his-sons-life-to-finish-a-sailing-trip-was-he-a-jerk/543719.md?page=5)