# Man mistakenly cuts off own penis, dog eats it - please tell me this is a prank **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 4, 2004, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-mistakenly-cuts-off-own-penis-dog-eats-it-please-tell-me-this-is-a-prank/267500 "2004-10-04T18:52:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-mistakenly-cuts-off-own-penis-dog-eats-it-please-tell-me-this-is-a-prank/267500/21 "2004-10-05T00:40:17Z")
Maybe I’m jaded, but the most disturbing part to me was the syntactic ambiguity in the last sentence: - Doctors said the man, who was brought in by an ambulance bleeding heavily, was now out of danger.\* The ambulance was bleeding heavily? Bad grammar disgusts me. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-mistakenly-cuts-off-own-penis-dog-eats-it-please-tell-me-this-is-a-prank/267500/22 "2004-10-05T00:53:50Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > When having sex with a chicken, decapitatating the bird at the moment of climax is supposed to produce the ultimate sensation due to the resulting muscular contractions. Should we ask how you acquired that particular bit of knowledge? ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-mistakenly-cuts-off-own-penis-dog-eats-it-please-tell-me-this-is-a-prank/267500/23 "2004-10-05T01:08:35Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > When having sex with a chicken, decapitatating the bird at the moment of climax is supposed to produce the ultimate sensation due to the resulting muscular contractions. _That_ explains it. The chicken was giving him head, and the guy got a little confused and brought the axe down just as his nuts were slapping the chicken’s chin. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-mistakenly-cuts-off-own-penis-dog-eats-it-please-tell-me-this-is-a-prank/267500/24 "2004-10-05T01:29:23Z")
> [@Uvula Donor](#): > > _That_ explains it. The chicken was giving him head, and the guy got a little confused and brought the axe down just as his nuts were slapping the chicken’s chin. You realize that your username makes this post especially hilarious, right? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-mistakenly-cuts-off-own-penis-dog-eats-it-please-tell-me-this-is-a-prank/267500/25 "2004-10-05T01:50:07Z")
> [@caphis](#): > > If he was in his underwear, how’d his penis get out and onto the chopping block? I was going to ask how the chicken got into his underwear, but **Colibri** has squelched my curiosity. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-mistakenly-cuts-off-own-penis-dog-eats-it-please-tell-me-this-is-a-prank/267500/26 "2004-10-05T02:30:08Z")
> [@Eva Luna](#): > > Should we ask how you acquired that particular bit of knowledge? An acquaintance told me about it, though he said he had never tried it himself for fear of the same consequences that befell the unfortunate Mr. Mocanu, since he was sure he would have ended up choking the chicken. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-mistakenly-cuts-off-own-penis-dog-eats-it-please-tell-me-this-is-a-prank/267500/27 "2004-10-05T03:36:00Z")
> [@indecisive1](#): > > Actually it’s not the penis itself that tastes like pork and it’s not actually pork, but more like pork gravy. Ya see, pork gravy has sort of a… never mind, I’ve already said too much. _Mr Leopold Bloom ate with relish the inner organs of beasts and fowls. He liked thick giblet soup, nutty gizzards, a stuffed roast heart, liverslices fried with crustcrumbs, fried hencods’ roes. Most of all he liked grilled mutton kidneys which gave to his palate a fine tang of faintly scented urine._ ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-mistakenly-cuts-off-own-penis-dog-eats-it-please-tell-me-this-is-a-prank/267500/28 "2004-10-05T03:54:51Z")
Yeesh. Cock-a-doodle-_don’t_, pal. ---
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-mistakenly-cuts-off-own-penis-dog-eats-it-please-tell-me-this-is-a-prank/267500/29 "2004-10-05T14:55:31Z")
**Colibri** -“_When having sex with a chicken, decapitatating the bird at the moment of climax is supposed to produce the ultimate sensation due to the resulting muscular contractions._” That’s correct. It’s known as ‘avain necrophiliac bestiality.’ In my youth, I experimented with avain necrophiliac bestiality, but I decided that it was a habit that I needed to break, so I quit. Cold turkey. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-mistakenly-cuts-off-own-penis-dog-eats-it-please-tell-me-this-is-a-prank/267500/30 "2004-10-05T15:34:46Z")
> [@Surreal](#): > > In my youth, I experimented with avain necrophiliac bestiality, but I decided that it was a habit that I needed to break, so I quit. > > Cold turkey. Yeah, I would expect that trying to have carnal relations with a frozen butterball would be quite discouraging. ---
**Author:** ![pyrrthon1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2acd7d/32.png) [@pyrrthon1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pyrrthon1)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-mistakenly-cuts-off-own-penis-dog-eats-it-please-tell-me-this-is-a-prank/267500/31 "2004-10-05T15:38:10Z")
Dude must have been packing some serious love pipe. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-mistakenly-cuts-off-own-penis-dog-eats-it-please-tell-me-this-is-a-prank/267500/32 "2004-10-05T15:38:44Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > _Mr Leopold Bloom ate with relish the inner organs of beasts and fowls. He liked thick giblet soup, nutty gizzards, a stuffed roast heart, liverslices fried with crustcrumbs, fried hencods’ roes. Most of all he liked grilled mutton kidneys which gave to his palate a fine tang of faintly scented urine._ That’s gross! He ate it with relish?!? ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-mistakenly-cuts-off-own-penis-dog-eats-it-please-tell-me-this-is-a-prank/267500/33 "2004-10-05T15:42:06Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Yeah. When having sex with a chicken, decapitatating the bird at the moment of climax is supposed to produce the ultimate sensation due to the resulting muscular contractions. I see he’s taken the Donkey Punch to the next level. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-mistakenly-cuts-off-own-penis-dog-eats-it-please-tell-me-this-is-a-prank/267500.md?page=1)