# Man Sends Monkey Sexually Explicit Audio Tape

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-sends-monkey-sexually-explicit-audio-tape/397826>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [March 28, 2007, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-sends-monkey-sexually-explicit-audio-tape/397826 "2007-03-28T13:41:58Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2007, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-sends-monkey-sexually-explicit-audio-tape/397826/1 "2007-03-28T13:41:58Z")

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I swear this is the gist of this story:

> **[Plano Star Courier](https://starlocalmedia.com/planocourier/)**

I don’t mean to put down a monkey’s intelligence, but isn’t this a bit like those signs you hear about telling cows to “Cross Here” and the like? Is a monkey going to be offended by this tape? Is a monkey going to understand this tape?

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**Author:** ![The\_Understander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3da27b/32.png) [@The\_Understander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Understander)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2007, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-sends-monkey-sexually-explicit-audio-tape/397826/2 "2007-03-28T13:45:47Z")

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Before you sickies out there chime in I just want to say that we probably have this guy all wrong… he was probably just \*disciplining \* Darwin and it was just misconstrued as something else. Sometimes, you just have to sp–

_garroted by the Committee to Prevent the Obvious Joke_

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**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2007, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-sends-monkey-sexually-explicit-audio-tape/397826/3 "2007-03-28T14:32:51Z")

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He couldn’t get laid in a monkey whorehouse with a bag of bananas.

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**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2007, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-sends-monkey-sexually-explicit-audio-tape/397826/4 "2007-03-28T16:25:27Z")

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[QUOTE=CalMeacham]  
Is a monkey going to be offended by this tape?  
[/quote]

Even though I doubt the monkey was “offended” by the tape :), it sounds like it is essentially a confession to bestiality, which makes me wonder why they gave the monkey back to him. I would think that bestiality is illegal in Texas…isn’t it?

> [@](#):
>
> Is a monkey going to understand this tape?

From the article, it seems safe to assume the dude is mentally ill and probably has delusions about the monkey being capable of understanding him on the same level as another person would. I find that pretty creepy, but maybe it’s really not all that different than those people out there (that we’ve all met) who treat their cats and dogs as if they were human children. _shrug_