# Man slaps Kodiak brown bear
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [August 1, 2005, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100 "2005-08-01T06:28:22Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@kaiwik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaiwik)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/1 "2005-08-01T06:28:22Z")
In light of all the animal posts recently, I thought I would share and amusing anecdote I heard about recently.
In the village one of the young men whose diapers I used to change had been out partying. He was definitely inebriated, and walking home along the dirt road in the dim light of a Northern summer’s night.
Apparently, a good sized bear (a 10 footer) was walking along the road in the opposite direction of this young man, and the two of them fetched right up close and personal.
Young man peered at the bear, the bear returned his gaze, and suddenly this young man reaches out and slaps the bear upside the head.
The bear didn’t hesitate a moment, he reared back, gave the guy a swat upside **his** head, and then ambled off to wherever it is bears amble off to.
The young man in question has the marks of the bear’s claws gouged out along one side of his head and face, as well as an ear that is permanently sliced in half, but no serious injury.
I am glad the kid is okay, but so much for the ravening beasts these bears get the reputation of being!
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### Author:  [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/2 "2005-08-01T06:42:31Z")
All I can really say to that is: :eek:
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### Author:  [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/3 "2005-08-01T06:59:55Z")
That reminded me of [this ad](http://www.pocketmovies.net/detail_91.html) that went 'round the 'net a few years back.
Seriously, glad that guy is semi-alright. He’s got a story he’ll tell for the rest of his life, eh. :eek:
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### Author:  [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/4 "2005-08-01T11:28:37Z")
What a dope! Golden opportunity to knock a bear out with a punch between the eyeses (or at least confirm whether or not this can in fact be done) and he goes and SLAPS the darn thing? Alaskans…
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### Author:  [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/5 "2005-08-01T12:02:05Z")
\I wonder if that’s what happened to Riker’s Mom…\
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/6 "2005-08-01T12:52:06Z")
This was a [Grizzly](http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/142982_bearattack08.html) , true, but maybe the Brown bear in this case wasn’t hungry.
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### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/7 "2005-08-01T12:59:55Z")
What a grizzly story. I almost couldn’t bear to read it. Too bad he didn’t have a camera on him. That was a true Kodiak moment.
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### Author:  [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/8 "2005-08-01T14:22:38Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#):
>
> What a grizzly story. I almost couldn’t bear to read it. Too bad he didn’t have a camera on him. That was a true Kodiak moment.
BAD NoClueBoy! No cookie!
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### Author:  [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/9 "2005-08-01T14:29:02Z")
Well, I’m glad he was drunk instead of showing bi-polar behavior.
But drunk, he might have tried to hit on the bear: “Hey honey, what’s ursine?”
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### Author:  [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/10 "2005-08-01T14:40:46Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#):
>
> Well, I’m glad he was drunk instead of showing bi-polar behavior.
>
> But drunk, he might have tried to hit on the bear: “Hey honey, what’s ursine?”
He would only do that if it was a Bi-Polar Bear.
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/11 "2005-08-01T14:55:34Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#):
>
> “Hey honey, what’s ursine?”
Could I interest you in an Alaskan vacation?
🙂
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### Author:  [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/12 "2005-08-01T14:58:25Z")
It’s too bad he didn’t confront a polar bear out on the ice.
All he would need to do was chop a hole in the ice and surround it with freshly shelled green peas.
Then when the bear came to take a pea, the guy would kick him in the ice hole.
😃😃 :eek: 😃
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/13 "2005-08-01T15:07:57Z")
> [@kaiwik](#):
>
> In the village one of the young men whose diapers I used to change had been out partying.
Well there’s your explanation right there. He was packin’ heat, fresh heat, in his drawers and a downwind bear figured his smell didn’t rightly qualify as food. Maybe fudging your skivvies provides some previously unrealized Darwinian benefit in predator/prey encounters and 10,000 years from now most folks living in bear-prone areas will have selectively been bred to be skivvy fudgers.
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### Author:  [@CateAyo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CateAyo)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/14 "2005-08-01T15:10:53Z")
You used to diaper young men? Nights are long in Alaska.
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### Author:  [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/15 "2005-08-01T15:17:34Z")
Ohhh, it’s like A River Runs Through It and now he is one with the bear’s spirit.
Or maybe he is an idiot.
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/16 "2005-08-01T15:20:55Z")
Brad Pitt owed the money to some bears?
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### Author:  [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/17 "2005-08-01T15:21:16Z")
> [@Zebra](#):
>
> Ohhh, it’s like A River Runs Through It and now he is one with the bear’s spirit.
>
> Or maybe he is an idiot.
That was _Legends of the Fall_, and I think you were right the second time. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/18 "2005-08-01T15:30:03Z")
But is the still a missin’?
_He was a Kodiak lookin’ fella ‘bout 19 feet tall he rambled up over the hill ‘spectin’ me to do one of two things: flip or fly, I didn’t do either one. It hung him up. He starts sniffin’ ‘round my body tryin’ to smell fear, but he ain’t gonna smell no fear, 'cause I’m God’s own drunk and a fearless man. It hung him up. He looked me right in my eyes and my eyes was a lot redder than his was. It hung him up._
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### Author:  [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/19 "2005-08-01T15:40:51Z")
> [@Draelin](#):
>
> That was _Legends of the Fall_, and I think you were right the second time. 🙂
:smack:
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### Author:  [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/20 "2005-08-01T15:52:12Z")
The man in the **OP** should have had some of [this](http://www.udap.com/) . Careful, graphic images.
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