# Man slaps Kodiak brown bear **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 1, 2005, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100 "2005-08-01T06:28:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/21 "2005-08-01T17:11:55Z")
Eeesh. I’ve heard of alcohol inspiring Napoleonic delusions about folks’ martial prowess before, but that’s just ridiculous. I always thought my father was the record-holder for boozy stupidity with bears. He used to run them off by tagging them in the ear with an _air rifle_. When I asked him if he’d ever considered that, eventually, one of those bears was going to get angry and charge him, instead of running back into the woods, he had a pretty good response: “I’m not worried. There’s no way a bear would ever be able to catch _me_.” “But, dad, you’re an old man, and bears run at a pretty decent clip.” “Yeah, but he’d never be able to get over the mountain of shit I’d leave behind me.” It’s probably funnier if you’re drunk. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/22 "2005-08-01T17:22:22Z")
Actually, that’s pretty amusing stone cold sober. I’ve said before that someone ought to start a “bear experiences” thread. If anyone ever does, be sure and page **Larry Mudd** and **Stranger On A Train** (among others) for entries. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/23 "2005-08-01T17:48:46Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > “Yeah, but he’d never be able to get over the mountain of shit I’d leave behind me.” I heard it as a military story; an M16 wouldn’t stop an Alaskan Grizzy bear. “He’ll never catch me, he be slippin’ on s\_\_t!” ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/24 "2005-08-01T18:13:09Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Could I interest you in an Alaskan vacation? > > 🙂 Is that some kind of kinky sex term? Like “Eskimo pie” or “Climbing McKinley”? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/25 "2005-08-01T18:27:21Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I heard it as a military story… Hmmm – might not be a coincidence that my dad was in the CAF. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/26 "2005-08-01T18:28:21Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > Is that some kind of kinky sex term? Like “Eskimo pie” or “Climbing McKinley”? :dubious: Er, no. I thought the punny guy would have pun with some Alaskan grizzlies. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/My_Darn_Snake_Legs)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/27 "2005-08-01T19:09:02Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > That was a true Kodiak moment. Ha! That is an in joke with some of us here. We were talking about bears for some reason and this girl in the car with us said something about Kodak bears. We ripped on her unmercifully for, uh, well we still are. Now we try to mention Kodiak moments at every opportunity when she’s around. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kaiwik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaiwik/32/3978_2.png) [@kaiwik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaiwik)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/28 "2005-08-01T19:46:05Z")
You all crack me up!!! Thanks, I needed that this morning! **CateAyo** he was a young 'un when I changed his diapers, geez! The nights are long here, but not _that_ long, lol! **Homebrew** yeah, God’s Own Drunk, gotta love it! Buffett is one of my fav’s, and he has been 86’d from every bar in Kodiak! I, personally, don’t have any faith in pepper spray against bears, any fencing is a joke, and I know a guy who used to tease me dreadfully by telling me, whilst out in bear country, that he wasn’t worried because even though he knew he couldn’t outrun a bear, he knew that he could outrun **me!!!** :eek: We all knew Timothy Treadwell, and yeah, a great majority of we who live in the Bush are a little…different. The bear which killed Timothy and Amie had shown some aggressive behavior in the past, and the fact that Timothy set up camp smack dab in the middle of a bear trail was asking for trouble. He knew better. One local opinion is that he was perhaps “showing off” for his girlfriend. Having lived cheek-to-jowl with brown bears I am able to attest that most bears do not want trouble. They are curious, and always hungry. I will also concede that there are also some downright cantankerous bears, and I have been around when they were deemed a danger and put down. They don’t go down easily, either. If there is ever a bear experience thread, please include me, I gots lots!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/29 "2005-08-01T19:59:07Z")
The Zoo here is building a Grizzly display. There will be glass between 1150 pounds of hungry, curious bear and me. I think I’ll just feed the ducks at the pond on my next visit. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/30 "2005-08-01T20:21:51Z")
Feed the ducks to the bear. Why not use _this_ thread for the bear stories? We’re already up and running. ---
**Author:** ![no\_screen\_name\_for\_now](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5a626/32.png) [@no\_screen\_name\_for\_now](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/no_screen_name_for_now)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/31 "2005-08-01T20:33:35Z")
> [@kaiwik](#): > > Apparently, a good sized bear (a 10 footer) was walking along the road in the opposite direction of this young man, and the two of them fetched right up close and personal. > > Young man peered at the bear, the bear returned his gaze, and suddenly this young man reaches out and slaps the bear upside the head. > > The bear didn’t hesitate a moment, he reared back, gave the guy a swat upside **his** head, and then ambled off to wherever it is bears amble off to. I read this post and it made me laugh. I’m glad the kid’s okay too, but _damn_! Where on earth do you live where there are 10-foot bears running around the countryside smacking unsuspecting drunks upside the head?! ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/32 "2005-08-01T20:36:36Z")
> [@no screen name for now](#): > > I read this post and it made me laugh. I’m glad the kid’s okay too, but _damn_! Where on earth do you live where there are 10-foot bears running around the countryside smacking unsuspecting drunks upside the head?! I’m going to go out on a limb and take a guess here. Could it be … Kodiak, Alaska ? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/33 "2005-08-01T20:53:06Z")
There’s bears in the gutter So be careful not to utter a sound That might disturb. There’s something 'bout about yelling Makes a bear get compelling To take your leg and bite it. Bears! Everywhere! Beware! Lookout, lookout! Beware! Lookout, lookout! Bears! They don’t care who they scare! You better beware! ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/34 "2005-08-01T21:13:14Z")
> [@kaiwik](#): > > We all knew Timothy Treadwell, and yeah, a great majority of we who live in the Bush are a little…different. The bear which killed Timothy and Amie had shown some aggressive behavior in the past, and the fact that Timothy set up camp smack dab in the middle of a bear trail was asking for trouble. He knew better. One local opinion is that he was perhaps “showing off” for his girlfriend. You know, I just heard that story on NPR Saturday morning and remember hearing briefly about it when it occurred, and all I could do was think of how horrifying it must have been for those people. They said there was tape running so there’s an actual audio recording of the attack that they _say_ will never be ‘published in any media’; I give it a year before it’s on the web somewhere. I hope like hell they were dead before eaten, but I have no illusions. There’s a movie about him and the bears, but I don’t know that I’d have the heart to see it. We think, “Wow, what a beautiful animal, how majestic!” while they think, “I can eat that whole thing in just a few minutes.” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/35 "2005-08-01T21:43:14Z")
I’m glad the story wasn’t more grsitle-ey. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/36 "2005-08-01T22:53:35Z")
> [@Portia](#): > > They said there was tape running so there’s an actual audio recording of the attack that they _say_ will never be ‘published in any media’ I heard it on the web. And yes it was disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/37 "2005-08-01T23:20:10Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > I heard it on the web. And yes it was disturbing. From the interview on NPR it sounded as though no copies were made and the tape is in a safe deposit box. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2005, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/38 "2005-08-02T14:42:22Z")
I no longer have Kazaa or any p2p apps, is anyone capable of doing a search for “treadwell”? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/39 "2005-08-02T15:32:17Z")
I wonder what would have happened had the young man not bitch-slapped the bear first? I think the bear was smarter than the average drunk. By the way, is this thread the inspiration for the pun thread in ATMB? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2005, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100/40 "2005-08-02T15:34:54Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > … > By the way, is this thread the inspiration for the pun thread in ATMB? If I continued to make puns would I just be panda-ing to the punsters or just making a spectacle of myself? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-slaps-kodiak-brown-bear/315100.md?page=3)