# MAN Star Wars I sucked **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 26, 2002, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-star-wars-i-sucked/105691 "2002-04-26T01:36:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-star-wars-i-sucked/105691/1 "2002-04-26T01:36:14Z")
Ok, so there are a lot of threads out there like this… But I’m not a huge fan of Star Wars… I really don’t know much about the movies, (I’ve seen them all at one point). However, I’m not within 20Min of watching the second movie on FOX, and I’m in awe… Now, One thing I HATE about the Wars is that the soldiers, (or whomever), that shoot at Luke and pals, have no aiming skills whatever. It’s SO EASY to make a movie where a good guy is being shot at by 5 bad guys, and a second later all of the 5 bad dudes are down while the good guy still stands. It almost seems like cheating and no viewer is ever at the edge of there seat, because we all know no good guy will be shot… Is there an excuse for this?.. if it’s “the force” then I think they conveniently gave the good guy too much power (but only if they needs it). Other than a better story, better dialog and more likable characters, (like young Darth in Phantom… that boy must NEVER ACT AGAIN! But old Darth is cool), Empire Strikes Back is just more original. I think somehow the limit of special FX in this movie (Empire), actually helps it! The more Special FX ability… the more Lucas’ stupid, once too-far-gone, ideas can come true. He has no limits now, and just goes HOG WILD! I don’t know. I’m not a great source on this poop… I’m not a HUGE fan! It’s a cool movie… Yoda kicks some ass! It’s funny how Yoda is a cool little psycho when he’s older, and so tight-ass when he’s younger. It’s like Yoda would vote Republican in his younger days… but in Empire he’s at least bi-pardison. He acts like my father on Christmas after he’s had a few. So can fans let me in on their thoughts? NO Sci-fi jargon only people with secret decoder rings can read! As you can see by this post, I’m hardly literate in the first place! 😉 Anyone know if they are planing to air the 3rd Star Wars on FOX? I’ve got to go now, look like the Princess has the hots for… (spoilers) Han Solo! And I thought she had the hots for her BROTHER! ---
**Author:** ![Ooner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c67d28/32.png) [@Ooner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ooner)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-star-wars-i-sucked/105691/2 "2002-04-26T01:38:06Z")
I don’t really get the point… maybe you should post it a couple more times. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-star-wars-i-sucked/105691/3 "2002-04-26T01:44:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ooner \* > \*\*I don’t really get the point… maybe you should post it a couple more times. \*\* lol hey, I didn’t mean it to post like that. Maybe my cable went out, but I didn’t mean to. I email both moderators. so… ---
**Author:** ![ScriptAnalyst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@ScriptAnalyst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScriptAnalyst)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-star-wars-i-sucked/105691/4 "2002-04-26T02:22:11Z")
Well, the script for EMPIRE was co-written by Leigh Brackett, who had written many screenplays and science fiction novels (she had a hand in the Bogart classic THE BIG SLEEP). A lot of credit for that film should go to her; unfortunately, she died before shooting began, and Lawence Kasdan ended up rewriting her script. Considering what he and Lucas came up with for RETURN OF THE JEDI, it seems like EMPIRE bore much of Brackett’s stamp. [www.thescriptanalyst.com](http://www.thescriptanalyst.com) ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-star-wars-i-sucked/105691/5 "2002-04-26T02:33:22Z")
since the one I posted in got locked… Yup, showing RotJ next Thursday and SWEITPM the Thursday following and the Thursday after that Attack of the Clones opens. Speaking of Yoda kicking ass, have you seen the soundtrack covers for the new movie? There are four different ones, one featuring Yoda. Man, he looks like he is about to open 15 different flavored cases of whoop-ass on whoever it is he’s looking at off camera and his hand is glowing like he’s about to call down the thunder!!! I can’t wait to see the little guy go to town on some bad-guys! ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-star-wars-i-sucked/105691/6 "2002-04-26T02:57:30Z")
Empire is largely regarded as the best of the Star Wars movies. It is also the darkest. The rebels ass-pounding on Hoth. Han gets frozen and shipped off in Boba Fetts trunk. Luke loses a hand. And oh my stars! A Negro!! Oh yeah…Darth Vadar is Lukes father… The other movies are ok. Star Wars is alright as its the first one made. Other than the battle at the end and Leia in the golden bikini, Jedi was mostly muppets. Phantom Menace was mostly CGI muppets and an annoying little boy. Episode II looks like we are in store for the patented Lukas “too much of a good thing”. Empire was cool because there were about 6 walkers lumbering around. Not hundreds of CGI walkers with ten million stormtroopers streched to the horizon. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Max Carnage \* > Speaking of Yoda kicking ass, have you seen the soundtrack covers for the new movie? There are four different ones, one featuring Yoda. Man, he looks like he is about to open 15 different flavored cases of whoop-ass on whoever it is he’s looking at off camera and his hand is glowing like he’s about to call down the thunder!!! I can’t wait to see the little guy go to town on some bad-guys! \*\* Mmmmmm…See an ass beating in someones future I do…Not afraid?..you will be… ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-star-wars-i-sucked/105691/7 "2002-04-26T04:19:19Z")
I just read that subject line as “Man Starwars, I sucked” Thus, I had no clue. Then I opened it and am enlightened 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-star-wars-i-sucked/105691/8 "2002-04-26T04:30:40Z")
HAHA… yeah, I thought I would hear about that later ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-star-wars-i-sucked/105691/9 "2002-04-26T04:32:33Z")
Did C-3P0 ever save the day in any of the 3 films… It seams funny that the robot is such an ass without doing ANYTHING redeeming ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-star-wars-i-sucked/105691/10 "2002-04-26T05:08:09Z")
Yeah, Episode I was a pooch screw, but the more I watch it, the less I hate it. Maybe I’m getting jaded to the crappy parts so I can start seeing the good parts better (yeah, there are good parts). ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-star-wars-i-sucked/105691/11 "2002-04-26T13:26:18Z")
Hey Spoofe- part of it has to be the the over the top hype which preceded the Phantom Menace. When the sub-par movie aimed at, and marketed exclusively towards, the 8-12 year old kiddies was released the backlash was all the more severe because of it. Look at the p.r. style now- come see Attack of the Clones (sigh- what a stupid title. . . .), we promise it won’t suck as bad as the last one. Even Lucus (mr. I am never wrong himself) admitted recently in an interview that he screwed the pooch on Menace and that Clones would be much darker and more in line with 1-3. Then again this is the man who screwed up the re-releases and made Greedo shoot first and stuck in a mini-Jabba, so take that with a grain of salt, or two. ScriptAnalyst- of course you know **The Big Sleep** was based on one of the most classic noir novels ever- so there wasn’t a ton of work to do for the scriptwriters other than not screw up the transition to the movie (which would have been tough given the source material and cast of the movie). Still, TESB has quite a different feel to it-- that had to come from somewhere. . . _-me_ ---
**Author:** ![ScriptAnalyst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@ScriptAnalyst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScriptAnalyst)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2002, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-star-wars-i-sucked/105691/12 "2002-04-27T20:38:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elf6c \* > \*\*ScriptAnalyst- of course you know **The Big Sleep** was based on one of the most classic noir novels ever- so there wasn’t a ton of work to do for the scriptwriters other than not screw up the transition to the movie (which would have been tough given the source material and cast of the movie). Still, TESB has quite a different feel to it-- that had to come from somewhere. . . > _-me_ \*\* Well, the script for BIG SLEEP departs substantially from the book (which I’ve read two or three times). The ending is completely different, and the movie has the wonderful innuendo-laden dialogue between Bogart and Bacall, ostensibly talking about horse-racing when they’re obviously referring to sex. And of course there’s the famous story about one of the cast, in the middle of shooting, asking director Howard Hawks who committed one of the murders. Hawks didn’t know, so he asked the screenwriters, who didn’t know either, so they asked novelist Raymond Chandler – who also insisted that he didn’t know! What Chandler negleted to mention was that, in his book, the “murder” is mostly likely a suicide/accident. So in a sense at least, the screenplay did “screw this up,” but the film is so much fun that no one cares [www.thescriptanalyst.com](http://www.thescriptanalyst.com) ---
**Author:** ![TheeGrumpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@TheeGrumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheeGrumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2002, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-star-wars-i-sucked/105691/13 "2002-04-28T01:39:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MyFootsZZZ \* > Did C-3P0 ever save the day in any of the 3 films. Once the Ewoks started worshipping him, he convinced them not to roast Luke, Han & Chewie. Which is precisely why he was brought along on the urgent mission to Endor. And he carried a flag at the start of the pod race in Ep. 1. So Threepio’s not entirely worthless. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2002, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-star-wars-i-sucked/105691/14 "2002-04-28T05:17:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TheeGrumpy \* > \*\* > > Once the Ewoks started worshipping him, he convinced them not to roast Luke, Han & Chewie. Which is precisely why he was brought along on the urgent mission to Endor. > > \*\* Well actually, Threpio didn’t convince them, and in fact was against lying to the Ewoks in the first place. He’d just as soon seen his friends barbecued than to “impersonate a deity. I just wouldn’t be proper.” Luke had to fly Goldenrod around the campfire a few times before they were let go. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2002, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-star-wars-i-sucked/105691/15 "2002-04-28T05:37:42Z")
> [@](#): > > Then again this is the man who screwed up the re-releases and made Greedo shoot first and stuck in a mini-Jabba You did hear that he’s remaking the remakes, didn’t you? So now we’ll have the Original Release, the Re-Release, the Special Editions, and the Special Special Editions. If nothing else, Lucas sure knows how to milk that cash cow. “Sequels? Episodes 7, 8, and 9? Why bother when I can just add some new flashy effects to the movies I already made?” He’s like the Bill Gates of the movie making world. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Vorae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@Vorae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vorae)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2002, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-star-wars-i-sucked/105691/16 "2002-04-28T09:47:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > **If nothing else, Lucas sure knows how to milk that cash cow. "Sequels? Episodes 7, 8, and 9? Why bother when I can just add some new flashy effects to the movies I already made?"** In his defense (though he doesn’t really deserve one), he suffers from the same affliction that plagues many directors: the need to endlessly tinker, now satiated by digital technology. What Lucas doesn’t realize is that he’s “fixing” past special effects that needed fixing solely because they were new for their time - the processes hadn’t been refined just yet - with a new effects process (CGI) that is itself in its infancy (hence the over-fluidity and sometimes cartoony look, both of which should lessen with time). He’s only creating more work for himself down the road. But for one reason or another, he thinks he’s making his movies better. Which would be fine with me if he were making every cut of the film accessible (which he’s not). So it’s basically like _Phantom Menace_, where the best parts are cut right next to the worst (e.g., the podrace and the fart joke). Dammit, George, when will you learn to leave it alone…