# Man steals, cleans, returns cars. Why does this never happen to me? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 8, 2004, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-cleans-returns-cars-why-does-this-never-happen-to-me/238976 "2004-04-08T15:44:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-cleans-returns-cars-why-does-this-never-happen-to-me/238976/1 "2004-04-08T15:44:26Z")
> [@](#): > > [Colin Sadd –](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=1516&ncid=1516&e=4&u=/afp/20040407/od_afp/britain_crime_cars_040407231905) described by one judge as "the man you would most want to steal your car – received a six-year sentence at a court in Sheffield, northern England, the Daily Telegraph reported. They say he needs psychiatric help. I was thinking he’d be the perfect cellmate for Martha. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-cleans-returns-cars-why-does-this-never-happen-to-me/238976/2 "2004-04-08T15:54:37Z")
I think my car might cure him of his obsession. There’s only so many bags of fast food trash and empty packs of cigarettes one can clean up before calling it quits. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-cleans-returns-cars-why-does-this-never-happen-to-me/238976/3 "2004-04-08T16:12:10Z")
New Movie: “Monk In Sixty Seconds” ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-cleans-returns-cars-why-does-this-never-happen-to-me/238976/4 "2004-04-08T16:13:32Z")
> [@Skelji](#): > > New Movie: > > “Monk In Sixty Seconds” Or maybe “The Fast and the Spotless” ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-cleans-returns-cars-why-does-this-never-happen-to-me/238976/5 "2004-04-08T16:19:13Z")
I remember reading a science fiction novel many years ago that mentioned – just as an aside – a group known as the Dada vandals – they’d steel your car, install a car stereo, and return it. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-cleans-returns-cars-why-does-this-never-happen-to-me/238976/6 "2004-04-08T17:43:44Z")
> [@Skelji](#): > > New Movie: > > “Monk In Sixty Seconds” That one actually made me spit coffee all over my monitor. Thank you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mrs\_Milburn\_Drysdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs\_Milburn\_Drysdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs_Milburn_Drysdale)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-cleans-returns-cars-why-does-this-never-happen-to-me/238976/7 "2004-04-08T17:46:03Z")
If only he could start a trend of burglars who break into your house and clean it. ---
**Author:** ![Etherman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/958977/32.png) [@Etherman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Etherman)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-cleans-returns-cars-why-does-this-never-happen-to-me/238976/8 "2004-04-08T17:55:57Z")
Who the heck turned him in? I’m with **Mrs Drysdale** , can I send him my address? ---
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-cleans-returns-cars-why-does-this-never-happen-to-me/238976/9 "2004-04-08T18:16:48Z")
I think he turned himself in. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-cleans-returns-cars-why-does-this-never-happen-to-me/238976/10 "2004-04-08T18:39:44Z")
> [@+MDI](#): > > I think he turned himself in. Because he wanted to clean up his act, no doubt. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-cleans-returns-cars-why-does-this-never-happen-to-me/238976/11 "2004-04-08T18:55:01Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Because he wanted to clean up his act, no doubt. So much for his clean record… ---
**Author:** ![USCDiver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uscdiver/32/354_2.png) [@USCDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/USCDiver)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-cleans-returns-cars-why-does-this-never-happen-to-me/238976/12 "2004-04-09T02:15:41Z")
He’ll never be the head of a major corporation… oh wait… ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-cleans-returns-cars-why-does-this-never-happen-to-me/238976/13 "2004-04-09T02:17:04Z")
> [@USCDiver](#): > > He’ll never be the head of a major corporation… oh wait… Are you saying we should quit while we’re… ahead? ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-cleans-returns-cars-why-does-this-never-happen-to-me/238976/14 "2004-04-09T02:22:08Z")
Years ago in Sydney car thieves stole a BMW and when it was found abandoned one week later the only difference was that a really expensive car alarm had been fitted. Police speculated that the thieves had some reason to break into a BMW with the same rare type of alarm and had used this one to practice on. ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-cleans-returns-cars-why-does-this-never-happen-to-me/238976/15 "2004-04-09T05:05:59Z")
Jail?! Obviously, the penalty should be for the government to fine him some ridiculous amount of money, invest that money and let it gain interest for a few years, then give it back to him, interest included.