# Man steals poop **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 31, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102 "2005-03-31T20:31:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bclouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@bclouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bclouse)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102/1 "2005-03-31T20:31:45Z")
Ha ha, today’s breaking news. ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102/2 "2005-03-31T20:39:18Z")
Did a real new story actually use the term “turd burglar”? ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102/3 "2005-03-31T20:40:20Z")
news story, even. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102/4 "2005-03-31T20:42:59Z")
:smack: See, the way you said it, I thought he _kept_ the bag… ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102/5 "2005-03-31T21:09:28Z")
It bears repeating: > [@](#): > > SAN DIEGO (AP) - The hunt is on for a turd burglar. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102/6 "2005-03-31T21:11:01Z")
A real case of derring-doo. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102/7 "2005-03-31T21:25:19Z")
Lady: “That bag is full of poo!” Turd Burglar: “Aww, shit.” Lady: “Exactly.” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102/8 "2005-03-31T21:43:55Z")
That **Misty** is leading one charmed life. She’s got one person pickin’ up her poo, another trying to steal it and guns don’t fire when they’re pointed at her. That’s some prime breedin’ stock right there. ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102/9 "2005-04-01T03:01:57Z")
This seems to happen every couple of years. I know I’ve read similar stories before. Including one where the LOL victim said "I only wish there had been a little more in the bag. " ---
**Author:** ![SlickRoenick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@SlickRoenick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlickRoenick)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102/10 "2005-04-01T03:11:21Z")
I haven’t laughed that hard in a loooong time. ---
**Author:** ![Cockatiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cockatiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cockatiel)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102/11 "2005-04-01T04:09:37Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > See, the way you said it, I thought he kept the bag… I thought the same thing. Thanks for that, my sister and I were in stitches. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102/12 "2005-04-01T04:23:13Z")
Had he struck only moments earlier, he would have scared the shit out of Misty. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102/13 "2005-04-01T15:54:15Z")
You know, if someone’s going to be charged with the _theft_ of poo, it’s certainly nice not to see _breaking and entering_ mentioned. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102/14 "2005-04-01T16:14:45Z")
The AP Style Manual, by the way, doe not include the term “turd burglar.” Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102/15 "2005-04-01T16:21:15Z")
The [MSNBC story](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7346978/) is considerably less funny. ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102/16 "2005-04-01T16:34:25Z")
This reminds me of the time back in high school when 3 of my friends pooped into a nice gift bag, placed a little tissue paper over top, sprinkled the tissue paper with a few rose petals and left it intentionally on top of a pay phone at the local convienance store to see people’s reactions when they looked inside. This one guy as he’s leaving the parking lot passes the pay phone and gets halfway to the street before stopping and backing up to the pay phone. At this point me and all my friends are shitting our pants laughing at the comedy (penis) that is about to ensue. The guy gets out of his car wearing a dark security guard uniform, snatches the bag, gets into his car and drives away! We all pile into a friends car to follow him, figuring as soon as he reaches inside he will throw the bag out his window or something. The guy drives across town, pulls into a construction site, gets out of his car and goes to work keeping vandals out of the building under construction. We waited around for a half hour or so waiting for something, or anything really to happen. We get bored and leave, but I went back the next morning with a friend to see if the bag was laying around on the ground or in the dumpster but it was nowhere to be seen. I still wonder what the hell that guy did with that bag. I guess he moved to California and is working on furthering his collection. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-steals-poop/297102/17 "2005-04-01T19:24:26Z")
From a Firesign Theater gameshow skit: Contestant: This bag is full of shit! Host: But, it’s **great** shit, Mrs. Preske!