# Man vs. animal: what are some fair fights? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 6, 2016, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012 "2016-12-06T13:11:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![adaher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@adaher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adaher)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/1 "2016-12-06T13:11:20Z")
As a supplement to the man vs. kangaroo thread here: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=812955](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=812955) What are some animals, where if an unarmed man encountered one and it caused a scuffle, would it be a fairly even match? Not talking fight to the death or anything, just a short encounter, since that tends to be what happens in the wild. Obviously an irate chipmunk isn’t too much of a threat to a man(unless it has rabies), but a grizzly bear would make short work of a human. But there’s a lot in between, like cougars, wolves, hyenas, cheetahs, smaller black bears, gators on land… Kangaroos. ---
**Author:** ![Waxwinged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c2a13f/32.png) [@Waxwinged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waxwinged)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/2 "2016-12-06T13:13:48Z")
A medium to large domestic dog comes to mind. ---
**Author:** ![gytalf2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ac91a4/32.png) [@gytalf2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gytalf2000)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/3 "2016-12-06T17:07:17Z")
How about a bobcat or lynx? ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/4 "2016-12-06T17:13:26Z")
As a general rule, I wouldn’t want to fight anything that makes a living out of singularly killing & eating stuff my approximate size/mass. Which would rule out any sort of large cat including cougars and jaguars. Get a couple beers in me and I might be willing to fight an ocelot if it says shit about my mother. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/5 "2016-12-06T17:14:43Z")
An adult man with his wits about him can probably scare off most animals smaller than a lion (and many larger), unless they’re starving or otherwise rationally impaired. At least in my experience – once, while jogging early before the sun came up, two large dogs (looked like Rottweilers to me) charged me, growling, from a sidestreet. My first inclination was to flee, but I was already tired and I knew I’d never outrun them, so I turned and ran towards them, screaming like a madman and flailing my arms. They immediately turned and ran. I think most animals would do this, unless they’re enraged, starving, or so large and fierce that they never flee from anything. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/6 "2016-12-06T17:17:17Z")
As for fighting, I think an adult man could probably fight off a cougar or a single wolf, unless it was cornered, protecting its babies, or starving. I don’t mean that an adult man is physically superior to a cougar or a wolf, just that we could probably present enough of a fight that it would decide it’s not worth it to continue, and run off. In a gladiatorial arena, with no possibility of flight, an average unarmed adult man probably couldn’t kill any animal larger than 100 lbs, and many smaller animals (like apes and monkeys bigger than 50 lbs) would probably kill us before we could kill them. ---
**Author:** ![gytalf2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ac91a4/32.png) [@gytalf2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gytalf2000)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/7 "2016-12-06T17:29:18Z")
I know that chimps are stronger then people; what about a gibbon? Would an average guy have a pretty good chance against one? ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/8 "2016-12-06T17:30:38Z")
> [@gytalf2000](#): > > I know that chimps are stronger then people; what about a gibbon? Would an average guy have a pretty good chance against one? I doubt it. Gibbons have big teeth, too, and their arms are incredibly strong. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/9 "2016-12-06T17:49:39Z")
This one’s pretty even. Things heat up around 0:44. [Scotty of the Antarctic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=152tLmGkgZY) No tigers involved, so unfortunately I won’t be able to provide, oh, about eleventy trillion cites. As in “Salad Days”, the Sam Peckinpah tribute was tear-laden joy. ---
**Author:** ![gytalf2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ac91a4/32.png) [@gytalf2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gytalf2000)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/10 "2016-12-06T18:58:07Z")
> [@Eddie The Horrible](#): > > This one’s pretty even. > Things heat up around 0:44. > [Scotty of the Antarctic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=152tLmGkgZY) > > No tigers involved, so unfortunately I won’t be able to provide, oh, about eleventy trillion cites. > > As in “Salad Days”, the Sam Peckinpah tribute was tear-laden joy. That was hilarious! hadn’t seen that sketch in about forty years, I think… ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/11 "2016-12-06T20:07:55Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > An adult man with his wits about him can probably scare off most animals smaller than a lion (and many larger), unless they’re starving or otherwise rationally impaired. At least in my experience – once, while jogging early before the sun came up, two large dogs (looked like Rottweilers to me) charged me, growling, from a sidestreet. My first inclination was to flee, but I was already tired and I knew I’d never outrun them, so I turned and ran towards them, screaming like a madman and flailing my arms. > > They immediately turned and ran. I think most animals would do this, unless they’re enraged, starving, or so large and fierce that they never flee from anything. Humans have an advantage over most animals their size in terms of intimidation - we stand upright, and so appear much larger than we actually are. When you see animals facing off against each other, they often attempt to rear up, arch their backs (like cats) or even stand on their hind legs, for this exact reason - to appear larger (bears do this, for example). When it comes to an actual fight, I suspect that advantage becomes a disadvantage - we are more unstable and easier to knock down. ---
**Author:** ![Waxwinged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c2a13f/32.png) [@Waxwinged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waxwinged)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/12 "2016-12-06T20:14:13Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > When it comes to an actual fight, I suspect that advantage becomes a disadvantage - we are more unstable and easier to knock down. Not to mention the relative lack of effective natural weapons. We wouldn’t be biting anything to death, which leaves… strangulation or kicking something until it stops moving? ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/13 "2016-12-06T20:19:47Z")
> [@Waxwinged](#): > > Not to mention the relative lack of effective natural weapons. We wouldn’t be biting anything to death, which leaves… strangulation or kicking something until it stops moving? One way of evening the odds would be if our hypothetical person was able to pick stuff up off the ground. Even a small rock held in the hand as a bludgeon would go a long way towards making up for the lack of tusks, horns, or really effective teeth. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/14 "2016-12-06T20:23:13Z")
Man vs medium-sized nest of yellowjackets (treating the hive as one organism for the sake of argument). Either one could win. Either one could end up killing the other. ---
**Author:** ![ZonexandScout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zonexandscout/32/544_2.png) [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/15 "2016-12-06T21:39:14Z")
I used to work with several different species of monkeys, ranging from 10 to 50 kg. They were uniformly scary and I would never want to take one on without a club or some other weapon. I witnessed many severe injuries to handlers that required multiple stitches. With that said, the most common animals that have hurt me the worst are house cats. Trying to control an unruly cat without a bag or a loop is crazy. I would much rather take on a couple dogs. Cats are crazy and have lots of sharp parts. ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/16 "2016-12-06T22:58:57Z")
[Deer v. Man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNHguoz6FJ8) NSFW Language [Man v. Kangaroo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SqLuBxI4IQ) ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/17 "2016-12-06T23:13:47Z")
The human would have to be comfortable fighting in an unconventional manner; _animals do not fight “fair”_ and that’s something a person is going to have to be ready for. Predators instinctively know where your weak points are; chimps are known to go straight for the eyes and crotch, and large cats will go right for the throat. ---
**Author:** ![Trancephalic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trancephalic/32/380_2.png) [@Trancephalic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trancephalic)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/18 "2016-12-07T00:41:26Z")
What about man vs. hedgehog ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/19 "2016-12-07T01:28:49Z")
I think I’d stand an even chance in a random encounter/scuffle with a tree sloth. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012/20 "2016-12-07T01:49:44Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > \ so I turned and ran towards them, screaming like a madman and flailing my arms. \ > > They immediately turned and ran. I think most animals would do this, unless they’re enraged, starving, or so large and fierce that they never flee from anything. I’ve done this three times. But, it was when my dog was being attacked. A protective instinct takes over and I just basically dove in the middle of the fray and scared the shit out of all the animals by yelling and pushing. These where always 60-70 pound dogs. I would throw any of them I could reach out of it. Adrenaline is what really drove me. I think they where all mostly just stunned about the new crazy combatant that is bigger. And I got into it almost immediately. I am a big guy, but I’ve been very lucky. I’ve scared black bears away a few times. Banging pots and pans does not always work. If they just sit there watching the house (it was weird). I would put a large caliber round into a tree stump near them. That, so far, has worked. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-vs-animal-what-are-some-fair-fights/774012.md?page=2)