# Man walks into Queens McDonald's with a knife in his back **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 26, 2014, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-a-knife-in-his-back/691697 "2014-06-26T14:32:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-a-knife-in-his-back/691697/41 "2014-06-27T02:35:46Z")
Man at the counter, gasping for breath: “Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!” New McDonald’s trainee: “Would you like fries with that?” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-a-knife-in-his-back/691697/42 "2014-06-27T02:37:31Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > Man at the counter, gasping for breath: “Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!” > New McDonald’s trainee: “Would you like fries with that?” Read the OP. 😉 “Now that’s a kn-URK!” ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-a-knife-in-his-back/691697/43 "2014-06-27T04:49:49Z")
> [@Mr.Nylock](#): > > I wouldn’t trust this bottle throwers, they’re real backstabbers. They certainly weren’t blunt about it. Never a dull moment in that McDonalds. Do you think the counter person told him too have a knife day? If she did, should the guy told her to fork off? Was he in _stab_le condition? ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-a-knife-in-his-back/691697/44 "2014-06-27T04:51:30Z")
The [Hammurderer](http://www.theonion.com/articles/mcdonalds-drops-hammurderer-character-from-adverti,127/) strikes again! ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-a-knife-in-his-back/691697/45 "2014-06-27T09:08:41Z")
Knife in your back? Might as well go to MacD and have a nice final meal; you’ll be better off there than at any typical ER these days. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-a-knife-in-his-back/691697/46 "2014-06-27T09:47:53Z")
Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions – on a sesame seed bun with a fucking knife in my back. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-a-knife-in-his-back/691697/47 "2014-06-27T11:43:11Z")
This is all besides the point. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-a-knife-in-his-back/691697/48 "2014-06-27T11:56:33Z")
I was intending to make some snotty joke here involving [Where’s the beef?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Where%27s_the_beef%3F) but wasn’t sure it pertained to McDonald’s (thus the lookup) and was shocked to see that that Wendy’s commercial is 30 years old! That would mean there are people here who are too young to remember it. Damn, I think I ought to be feeling old! ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-a-knife-in-his-back/691697/49 "2014-06-27T15:27:17Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > I was intending to make some snotty joke here involving [Where’s the beef?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Where%27s_the_beef%3F) but wasn’t sure it pertained to McDonald’s (thus the lookup) and was shocked to see that that Wendy’s commercial is 30 years old! That would mean there are people here who are too young to remember it. Thank God for YouTube. My wife is from Japan, and although she’s been in the US for over 20 years now, I’ve had to resort to YouTube to show her that old Wendy’s commercial, along with numerous other cultural touchstones. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-a-knife-in-his-back/691697/50 "2014-06-27T15:46:06Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Thank God for YouTube. My wife is from Japan, and although she’s been in the US for over 20 years now, I’ve had to resort to YouTube to show her that old Wendy’s commercial, along with numerous other cultural touchstones. Scary, ain’t it, how old some of those “fresh memories” can be? I continue to marvel at some of the oldies from when I was a kid (40’-50’s) that somebody went to the trouble to post. Probably for the geezers who browse YouTube looking for such. OTR (Old Time Radio) has a similar effect on me. You ought to show your wife some of the Jack Douglas and Reiko clips – if you can find any! ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-a-knife-in-his-back/691697/51 "2014-06-27T15:47:01Z")
People say that fast food is bad for you, yet this guy was able to ignore a knife in the back to get more. Looks like all those preservatives in the meat worked on \*him \*too. He’s probably been dead for years, but just so well preserved that he’s kept on going without realizing it. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-a-knife-in-his-back/691697/52 "2014-06-27T15:49:30Z")
“True friends stab you in the front”- Oscar Wilde ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2014, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-a-knife-in-his-back/691697/53 "2014-06-28T13:19:50Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > Man at the counter, gasping for breath: “Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!” > New McDonald’s trainee: “Would you like fries with that?” “I see that you have a knife in your back. Would you like to super-size it for just $.35 more?” _man starts to keel over_ “… it comes with two more Monopoly game pieces…” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2014, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-a-knife-in-his-back/691697/54 "2014-06-28T14:01:42Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > **"I see that you have a knife in your back**. Would you like to super-size it for just $.35 more?" > > _man starts to keel over_ > > “… it comes with two more Monopoly game pieces…” Good thing the guy wasn’t near Microsoft HQ. He would have released First Aid Clippy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-a-knife-in-his-back/691697.md?page=2)