# Man with baseball bat versus wolf **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 3, 2015, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767 "2015-02-03T22:38:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/1 "2015-02-03T22:38:56Z")
For some reason I tend to think the man wins. Unless he gets knocked down before he gets a chance to unleash his bat and the wolf gets him by the throat. But if he sees the wolf coming and takes a solid swing with the bat at the wolf’s mouth I would think he wins. But then, what do I know about such things. ---
**Author:** ![GreenElf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@GreenElf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenElf)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/2 "2015-02-03T22:58:17Z")
Maybe if the first swing is right on the money. The wolf may move it’s head to avoid the full effect of the bat and recover quick enough to have the man for dinner. ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/3 "2015-02-03T22:59:11Z")
But if the wolf fails to knock him down he could get in other swings. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/4 "2015-02-03T23:02:00Z")
Wolf comes in low bites man’s leg. Man swings down at wolf maybe hits him on the head, pisses off wolf so wolf bites harder. Man better hope he can shove bat down wolfs throat. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/5 "2015-02-03T23:10:31Z")
But if the wolf is wearing cleats and a batting helmet… ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/6 "2015-02-03T23:55:49Z")
Man takes what he thinks is a big league swing upon wolf’s head. Wolf shakes it off and chews on man’s throat. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/7 "2015-02-04T00:00:56Z")
Gee, I thought Steven King answered that question in “Silver Bullet”. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/8 "2015-02-04T00:11:31Z")
Plan A: take your best shot with the bat. If you connect with any part of the wolf it’s going to look elsewhere for food that doesn’t fight back. Plan B: feed the wolf your weak arm and then grab/crush the wolf’s larynx with the other. Plan C: drink Budweiser beer, wait for horses. ---
**Author:** ![liontamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b487fb/32.png) [@liontamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liontamer)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/9 "2015-02-04T01:04:20Z")
I would try to break a leg or two. Should be easy after that. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/10 "2015-02-04T01:17:15Z")
Could go either way. Probably depends on the first swing, and the physical capabilities of the man. Wolves are strong, but I don’t think they’re way stronger pound-for-pound than people (probably a bit stronger, but not unbelievably stronger). Average wolf may be about 80 lbs, and the average man is at least twice that, I think. Could go either way, but I’d give a slight advantage to the man. For a comparison – [cougar attacks](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cougar#Attacks_on_humans), rare as they are, are often successfully fought off unless the victim is a child… and cougars are bigger than wolves, and the survivor is usually unarmed. Even unarmed, I think a reasonably strong and fit man has a chance against a single wolf. Especially if he’s Liam Neeson. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/11 "2015-02-04T01:32:29Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > Plan A: take your best shot with the bat. If you connect with any part of the wolf it’s going to look elsewhere for food that doesn’t fight back. I think this is the key point. Getting into a fight to the death with a predator in the wild is harder than one might think. They’re usually pretty risk-averse. In nature, an injury often means starvation and death, so I suppose the ones that stick around to fight it out with the more uncooperative prey tend to get removed from the gene pool. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/12 "2015-02-04T01:43:15Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > I think this is the key point. Getting into a fight to the death with a predator in the wild is harder than one might think. They’re usually pretty risk-averse. In nature, an injury often means starvation and death, so I suppose the ones that stick around to fight it out with the more uncooperative prey tend to get removed from the gene pool. Just remembered an anecdotal story from my youth. We had a large dog (retriever) who of course liked to chase things. One day I decided to knock a few balls out for him to chase which he seemed to enjoy. It didn’t occur to me he would try to circumvent the process and go for the ball as I tossed it up in the air to hit. I think his nose traveled about 50 feet (not really). He howled something fierce. Hurts just thinking of it. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/13 "2015-02-04T03:51:47Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Could go either way. Probably depends on the first swing . . . Yep… Highly contingent. You and me, in a cage match: you’ve got a lumberjack’s axe, and I’ve got an 1812-style Naval boarding pike. You swing; I poke. Who wins? The luckier! ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/14 "2015-02-04T03:58:13Z")
Wolf goes, “The fuh…” and runs away. Man stands there and wonders, “Was that a fucking wolf?” ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/15 "2015-02-04T04:13:11Z")
Man. I’ve seen/heard of enough guard dogs killed by bats and related blunt objects to figure the wolf would do much better. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/16 "2015-02-04T04:13:21Z")
I would take on a Wolf with a bat. I’ve already defeated a pack of coyotes with a beer can. Pussies. ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/17 "2015-02-04T05:01:55Z")
Cougars kill by suffocation – grab your throat and hold you down until you’re dead. Fight back, keep your neck protected, and the cat may decide you’re too much trouble. Wolves go for massive damage by lacerating and puncturing bites causing localized dysfunction and heavy blood loss. If you get a good first lick on the wolf, you’ve got a chance. But if he gets through to you, you’re screwed. If he jumps at you and knocks you down, you won’t be able to make a (or another) powerful swing. Or if he dodges, weaves, and grabs a leg or arm, he’ll pull you down while doing major damage to that limb and causing severe, maybe disabling, pain. Again, you’re not landing additional strokes on him. And he is rapidly changing targets, ripping other limbs, body, even throat while you try to draw back and aim a swing. Assuming a genuinely motivated wolf, your chances of winning the hypothetical encounter are (IMHO) one in ten. Guard dogs aren’t motivated to kill, or practiced in it either. They’re trained to stop you, take you down, and detain you. They’re still dogs, and subservient to human commands. They’ll attack as commanded, and with happy vigor, to please their handler. But not with the same kind of go-for-broke naked aggression I’d expect from a wild wolf, assuming that the wolf really wanted to kill you. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/18 "2015-02-04T14:11:48Z")
Also, is it night-time or during the day? If you can see him coming, it would make it easier. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/19 "2015-02-04T15:11:29Z")
Bat man—if he’s prepared. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767/20 "2015-02-04T15:16:12Z")
> [@Dale\_Sams](#): > > Wolf goes, “The fuh…” and runs away. Man stands there and wonders, “Was that a fucking wolf?” This is by far the most plausible outcome for this scenario. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-baseball-bat-versus-wolf/711767.md?page=2)