# Man with Chainsaw vs. Grizzly Bear -- Who Wins? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 6, 2013, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621 "2013-05-06T15:04:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/21 "2013-05-06T18:26:45Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > Actually, a bear would kill a lion in a fight. Lions have strong jaws & front legs, but lack toughness. Whereas a bear has strong everything, and is tough as hell. The lion might get one good bit, but the bear would kill it right afterwards. Sounds like a Mythbusters episode to me! ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/22 "2013-05-06T18:38:27Z")
If the bear is coming at you any faster than a slow walk, you are screwed just because of momentum and such. Once it’s close enough to touch, even if you make the one in a million chainsaw kung fu move that kills it instantaneously, it’s still going to squash you. Crushed by a bear carcass is not a badass epitaph. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/23 "2013-05-06T19:13:45Z")
“Sawed him a b’ar when he was only three…” ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/24 "2013-05-06T19:17:43Z")
I have my doubts that you could realistically get a bear near a guy making the kind of racket a running chainsaw makes. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/25 "2013-05-06T20:18:42Z")
This thread has made me irrationally afraid of being attacked by a bear. ---
**Author:** ![gytalf2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ac91a4/32.png) [@gytalf2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gytalf2000)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/26 "2013-05-06T21:44:21Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I have my doubts that you could realistically get a bear near a guy making the kind of racket a running chainsaw makes. 😉 Oh, good point! Hadn’t really thought of the horrendous noise… ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/27 "2013-05-07T02:25:20Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > This thread has made me irrationally afraid of being attacked by a bear. Don’t look behind you… ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/28 "2013-05-07T03:14:15Z")
[Bears are better armed](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wojtek_%28soldier_bear%29). ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/29 "2013-05-07T03:30:28Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > [Bears are better armed](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wojtek_%28soldier_bear%29). We can’t let them take away our inherent right to arm bears! ---
**Author:** ![MostlyClueless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MostlyClueless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MostlyClueless)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/30 "2013-05-07T10:09:31Z")
As for the lions vs bears argument, this was answered by QI: [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2Tx48x1ZoM) ---
**Author:** ![retsin2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@retsin2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/retsin2000)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/31 "2013-05-07T17:12:07Z")
I’ll give the bear 3-1 oods but will also note that the last known grizzly in Colorado was killed by a guy with an arrow…in his hand. > **[Man Recounts A Fight For Life With Colorado's Last Grizzly](https://www.cbsnews.com/colorado/news/man-recounts-a-fight-for-life-with-colorados-last-grizzly/)** > > It was the last day of bow hunting season for elk, and an outfitter by the name of Ed Wiseman was guiding hunters into a remote area along the Continental Divide east of Pagosa Springs in the Southern San Juan Mountains. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/32 "2013-05-07T19:16:12Z")
Da Bears! ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/33 "2013-05-07T19:41:50Z")
Is the man [Ash Williams?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ash_Williams). If so, the bear is in a lot of trouble. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/34 "2013-05-07T22:03:08Z")
[This seems](http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1dv96o/i_was_blinded_and_severely_mauled_by_a_grizzly/) slightly relevant and given the nature of this thread, it might be of interest to dopers. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/35 "2013-05-08T20:01:02Z")
It all depends on whether the chainsaw is running and in good working order, and whether it’s full of gas. If the chainsaw isn’t running I’d bet on the bear. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/36 "2013-05-08T21:45:01Z")
> [@Gorsnak](#): > > We can’t let them take away our inherent right to arm bears! No, no, it’s the right to _bear arms_ - which is probably why this guy is going after a bear with a chainsaw. He has to get those arms from _somewhere_ after all. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/37 "2013-05-08T22:21:49Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Depends on the type and size of bear. > [@control-z](#): > > It all depends on whether the chainsaw is running and in good working order, and whether it’s full of gas. No, it depends on how fast he carries the chainsaw. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/38 "2013-05-09T01:37:32Z")
“Well, Chief, would you believe an electric hedge trimmer?” Missed it by _that_ much. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/39 "2013-05-09T01:41:47Z")
> [@Flywheel](#): > > No, it depends on how fast he carries the chainsaw. [This](http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/8/85/ImageD.jpg) is what you use for a [fast chainsaw](http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Rocket_Propelled_Chainsaw). ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621/40 "2013-05-09T01:46:47Z")
Parallel threads are amusing, aren’t they? Just as I asserted as a noted authority on the subject (not really), the bear wins almost all of the time. It is an apex predator. It is amazingly agile for its size and wields really remarkably sharp claws and teeth. It also apparently has a significant amount of subcutaneous adipose tissue that may well be pierced by the first (and only) thrust by the chainsaw, but after that, perhaps as quickly as 2 seconds, the human would be incapacitated and then within 10 seconds dispatched. Don’t mess with bears. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-chainsaw-vs-grizzly-bear-who-wins/657621.md?page=3)