# Man with insanely huge penis makes sure everyone knows it **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 6, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284 "2003-08-06T06:00:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/1 "2003-08-06T06:00:24Z")
Reads like an Onion story doesn’t it? But it’s true! Why does this guy feel the need to expose himself via tight stretch pants to get a rise out of people, isn’t just _having_ a giant, boa constrictor sized trouser snake enough for him? [Mr. Big - Jonah Falcon was born with a blessing in, er, disguise. Until it took over his life](http://www.rollingstone.com/features/featuregen.asp?pid=1672) ---
**Author:** ![annaplurabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@annaplurabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/annaplurabelle)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/2 "2003-08-06T06:18:18Z")
Based on the photo and interview quotes, I’d say that it’s probably because it’s his best feature. Although, he does have one other use I never would have thought of: > [@](#): > > **"When erect, Falcon’s penis generates enough heat to warm hands – campfire style – from a distance of six inches."** ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/3 "2003-08-06T06:26:24Z")
My God that shitty photo is by Mary Ellen Mark one of my all time favourite photographers. Look at the stuff in the gallery at [MaryEllenMark](http://www.maryellenmark.com/) to see what she usually does. I didn’t think good photographers took snapshot quality pictures. ---
**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/4 "2003-08-06T06:29:29Z")
These were funny to me: > [@](#): > > His balls are proportionately huge, each the size of a grade-A jumbo egg. > [@](#): > > “People are going to stare at my dick,” he acknowledges. ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/5 "2003-08-06T06:34:03Z")
That, right there, is the stuff of nightmares. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/6 "2003-08-06T07:06:59Z")
If my penis was that big, I wouldn’t want to let anyone know. It would be embarrassing, not to mention creepy to have a penis that size. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/7 "2003-08-06T08:18:38Z")
Boy, comparing the pictures on his Web site to the current one, he’s really let himself go. Judging from what I read in the article, I’d guess that he’s a rather sad, lonely man. Wearing pants two sizes too small? Yikes. Now, pardon me while I go reassure Johnny Bravo Jr. that he’s perfectly fine just the way he is. ---
**Author:** ![TeaRoses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@TeaRoses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaRoses)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/8 "2003-08-06T11:01:35Z")
Don’t click, I told myself. Just don’t click, that all you have to do. But that story at the end left me throughoughly squicked for some reason. ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/9 "2003-08-06T11:33:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*Tense your forearm. Now wrap your hand around the middle of the muscle. That is the girth of Falcon’s erection. \*\* :eek: ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/10 "2003-08-06T11:48:27Z")
“Where did all of this snow come from? It was perfectly clear, warm May day!” “I don’t know, but we’re all going to freeze unless we can build a fire – and all I can see around us are rocks!” “Wait, I’ve got an idea! John!! Over here!!!” > [@](#): > > When erect, Falcon’s penis generates enough heat to warm hands – campfire style – from a distance of six inches. I know **annaplurabelle** beat me to it, but when I read the article (before I read her post), this sentence really caught my eye, and the playlet immediately followed. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/11 "2003-08-06T12:09:11Z")
One of my testicles is only the size of a grade-A jumbo egg. The other one is big enough to be considered normal, though. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/12 "2003-08-06T12:17:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astro \* > \*\*Reads like an Onion story doesn’t it? But it’s true! \*\* Any relation to [Lowell P. Thurber](http://www.theonion.com/onion3117/seemypenis.html)? ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/13 "2003-08-06T12:19:54Z")
* * * ## Tense your forearm. Now wrap your hand around the middle of the muscle. That is the girth of Falcon’s erection. How do they know how big my forearm is? Whoa. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/14 "2003-08-06T12:37:08Z")
I always knew Silo would go somewhere. He was too great for this board. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/15 "2003-08-06T12:40:22Z")
I guess you could say _Rolling Stone_ was hard up for news. ---
**Author:** ![OESGal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecae2f/32.png) [@OESGal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OESGal)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/16 "2003-08-06T14:15:07Z")
All I can think is “OWWCH!” His is way too big for most women I would imagine. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/17 "2003-08-06T14:40:45Z")
But in the name of science… Ladies? I’ll need a volunteer… ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/18 "2003-08-06T15:21:40Z")
I think we have a winner for that New Super Hero contest – Hot Rod, with the blazing heat of his genitals, performs rescues and thwarts evildoers. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/19 "2003-08-06T15:48:24Z")
I guess what they say about pinstripes really is true. ---
**Author:** ![Bongmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Bongmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bongmaster)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/20 "2003-08-06T16:27:56Z")
He wouldn’t even need to do anything other than show up to be a super hero…people would simply stop doing evil and stare. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284.md?page=2)