# Man with insanely huge penis makes sure everyone knows it **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 6, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284 "2003-08-06T06:00:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/21 "2003-08-06T18:29:03Z")
I, for one, appreciate the humor in the photo. What is he holding in front of his . . . uh . . . \*package? ---
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/22 "2003-08-06T20:11:36Z")
At the end of the article, we’re treated to a little vignette of an adult having sex with a ten-year-old. I could have done without that. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/23 "2003-08-06T21:04:42Z")
> [@](#): > > ## \*Originally posted by dantheman \* \*\*-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tense your forearm. Now wrap your hand around the middle of the muscle. That is the girth of Falcon’s erection. > > How do they know how big my forearm is? Whoa. \*\* What if you’re Popeye? ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/24 "2003-08-06T21:08:59Z")
Then your SO very likely has a budding vicodin addiction. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/25 "2003-08-06T21:09:58Z")
This is your dick. This is your dick on spinach. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/26 "2003-08-06T21:21:36Z")
Was anyone else disturbed by the fact that the background music on his website was “All That Jazz”? Yikes. ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/27 "2003-08-06T21:41:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by panache45 \* > \*\*I, for one, appreciate the humor in the photo. What is he holding in front of his . . . uh . . . \*package? \*\* He’s holding a gift box with a bow wrapped around it. And I wish I could see that site, it says he has exceeded his bandwidth for the month. :o ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/28 "2003-08-06T21:53:12Z")
I did a search on his name, the second link had a photograph. ---
**Author:** ![LauraLittlePony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@LauraLittlePony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LauraLittlePony)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/29 "2003-08-06T21:57:40Z")
I bet he never gets any. No WAY is that thing coming anywhere near me, I don’t know about the rest of you girls! ---
**Author:** ![badmana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@badmana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmana)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/30 "2003-08-06T22:05:59Z")
Oh hell, how do you even masturbate with something like that? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/31 "2003-08-06T22:09:38Z")
“Hi there! I’m Jonah Falcon, and I’m here to tell you about the new, improved **Tug-Ahoy** …” ---
**Author:** ![X\_Slayer\_ALE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bbe5ce/32.png) [@X\_Slayer\_ALE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/X_Slayer_ALE)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/32 "2003-08-06T22:21:29Z")
Hmmmm this guy is part of a fraternity of people known just for their dick size which include John Holmes and that little troll, Ron Jeremy. anyone notice that extraordinarily large dick sizes tends to suck the good genes away from having a nice body or a decent looking face. of course that just the penis envy talking… as for the question, how do you masterbate with a monster like that? a Craftsman 35 gal 5 hp wet-dry vacuum cleaner comes to mind. Of course he has to get bigger attachments. ---
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/33 "2003-08-06T22:22:00Z")
As per Glory’s suggestion, I did a search and found the full-naked photo of JF holding his weeney next to his forearm. Oh my God! He looks like a young (and very happy) **Newt Gingrich** in that shot. Am I right? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/34 "2003-08-06T22:26:56Z")
Many of the things in this old thread actually apply to this guy… [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=19152](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=19152) ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/35 "2003-08-06T22:53:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stuyguy \* > \*\*As per Glory’s suggestion, I did a search and found the full-naked photo of JF holding his weeney next to his forearm. > > Oh my God! He looks like a young (and very happy) **Newt Gingrich** in that shot. Am I right? \*\* I was more amused by Michael Musto’s (of the Village Voice) note from that site. It’s interesting how much fatter he is in the RS photo than in that forearm pic a few years ago. > [@](#): > > Jonah Falcon previously got a spate of press in 1999. Michael Musto ranked him #1 on a list of crassly self-promoting New York scenesters. > > Jonah Falcon: Self-described actor-screenwriter who parades around in seemingly painted-on spandex shorts which highlight his gargantuan shlong, thereby giving one the willy (“It’s 13-and-a-half erect, nine-and-a-half soft,” he informs). Leaves me messages like “I want to tell you about how I showed my penis to Leonardo and his friends” and “I’m the guy with the large penis. I’m sure you noticed me dancing in the audience at the Donna Summer concert last night. I made quite a scene.” Showed up 90 minutes early for our photo shoot and got into a verbal tussle with Voice doormen over whether he could eat in the lobby. Lately, he’s been faxing and enthusing about his appearance on HBO, in which he talks about his burgeoning drama career. Kidding — he talks about his penis. also > [@](#): > > Amy Reiter mentioned him in her Salon gossip column a few years ago. > > Jonah Falcon, 28, is so proud of his 13-inch-long, three-inch-wide member, he’s writing a screenplay (non-pornographic, he insists) chronicling its ups and downs (and you thought the creators of “Boogie Nights” had already done that). He’s calling his flick, charmingly, “Jonah: Confessions of a Horse-Hung Boy.” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/36 "2003-08-07T00:06:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stuyguy \* > **He looks like a young (and very happy) Newt Gingrich in that shot.** \ “She turned me into a newt!” “Wot?” “She turned me into a newt.” “What’s with the massive dong, then?” …pause… “Got better.” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/37 "2003-08-07T00:10:48Z")
No way I would let that guy near me. I don’t think I need a hysterectomy at this time, thankyouverymuch. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/38 "2003-08-07T00:10:53Z")
Love the trivia quiz: > [@](#): > > How many STD’s has Jonah acquired, since he started sleeping with women at the age of 10? > Answer: 5 There’s something to be proud of, right there… ---
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/39 "2003-08-07T00:30:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mudshark \* > \*\*If my penis was that big, I wouldn’t want to let anyone know. It would be embarrassing, not to mention creepy to have a penis that size. \*\* Nah, it’s really not that bad. ---
**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284/40 "2003-08-07T00:36:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by badmana \* > \*\*Oh hell, how do you even masturbate with something like that? \*\* By employing a well-lubricated bunt-cake mold. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/man-with-insanely-huge-penis-makes-sure-everyone-knows-it/193284.md?page=3)