# Mangled Metaphors **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 28, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363 "2003-09-28T21:33:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/1 "2003-09-28T21:33:19Z")
Ever noticed how odd some metaphors appear when the speaker/writer mangles them? Ever been tempted to make them even weirder? For example, in the job I ought to be proofreading RIGHT NOW instead of goofing off on this board 😉 I just came across: “missed it by a hair’s breath”. It should be “hair’s brea **d** th”, of course – but what immediately sprang to mind was “hare’s breath”. A lot of people think that “a tough row to hoe” is actually “a tough _road_ to hoe.” Well, yeh… but who would be hoeing a road to begin with? Okay, Dopers – what mangled metaphors have caught your fancy? And can you maim them even further beyond recognition? ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2003, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/2 "2003-09-28T22:29:51Z")
Not the sharpest bulb on the tree. Like a fish out of nowhere. ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2003, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/3 "2003-09-28T22:47:54Z")
From _Unsolved Mysteries_: The light at the end of the rainbow. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2003, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/4 "2003-09-28T22:56:46Z")
It’s an ill wind that’s up to no good. ---
**Author:** ![Rabid\_Squirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Rabid\_Squirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rabid_Squirrel)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2003, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/5 "2003-09-28T23:07:12Z")
Ohh, there’s some gems for the UK series “The Thin Blue Line”. “Just remember Raymond, my arse is on the line and I don’t want a cock-up.” ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2003, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/6 "2003-09-28T23:26:59Z")
Like a bat out of water. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/7 "2003-09-29T00:12:32Z")
[Well, this thread is turning into quite the goldmine for pithy sayings](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=4027527#post4027527). – **Monty** ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/8 "2003-09-29T00:21:13Z")
Ah – so he’s not playing with a full duck? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/9 "2003-09-29T00:40:37Z")
He was truly living precariously with that fowl exchange. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/10 "2003-09-29T02:42:36Z")
I always liked _Nip it in the butt,_ and _Butt naked._ _Like a prick over troubled water._ _Gaping wide open like a buck toothed whore._ ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/11 "2003-09-29T03:09:31Z")
_Like a brown stone cowboy_. ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Train\_Song](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@Black\_Train\_Song](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Train_Song)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/12 "2003-09-29T03:12:31Z")
Here’s one my friend blurted out while playing playstation…“I’m gonna slap you around like a hard chicken!” ??? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/13 "2003-09-29T03:15:12Z")
Like the hipster manager of Lowes’ plumbing department: Pre-Madonna top caulk of the walk. ---
**Author:** ![j\_sum1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@j\_sum1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_sum1)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/14 "2003-09-29T04:58:02Z")
Faster than a speeding building. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/15 "2003-09-29T05:02:23Z")
Higher than a speeding Bulleit. ---
**Author:** ![Xanthas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a5b964/32.png) [@Xanthas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xanthas)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/16 "2003-09-29T06:17:17Z")
I’ve seen people write “for all intensive purposes.” ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/17 "2003-09-29T06:31:46Z")
I don’t think we’re towing the line here (Love that image though, of someone towing the line) ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/18 "2003-09-29T07:07:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by EddyTeddyFreddy \* > **A lot of people think that “a tough row to hoe” is actually “a tough _road_ to hoe.” Well, yeh… but who would be hoeing a road to begin with?** Then again, how many people use hoes (as in farm implements) today? Agricultural illiteracy has led to several references to “bailing hay”, to say nothing of “having a hayday”. I’ve also seen “As ye sew, so shall ye reap.” ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/19 "2003-09-29T07:24:02Z")
Well, I see a fellow Hoosier night owl beat me to it. I’m not sure that a tough “road” to hoe is right. Back in the day, crops, planted in rows, had to be hoed to remove weeds. This was, of course, before we started using toxic chemicals to kill the little buggers off before they had a chance! ---
**Author:** ![SkyBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@SkyBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkyBum)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363/20 "2003-09-29T08:15:57Z")
When I’m on a message board, I like to refer to _bold_ faced lies… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mangled-metaphors/204363.md?page=2)