# Manhattan is a fuckwad, and Microsoft can suck my dick **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 7, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757 "2003-05-07T20:51:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/61 "2003-05-08T11:22:47Z")
I didn’t even realize I HAD a scroll lock key until today. I wonder what it does. ---
**Author:** ![Anonymous\_Coward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@Anonymous\_Coward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anonymous_Coward)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/62 "2003-05-08T11:41:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FisherQueen \* > \*\*I didn’t even realize I HAD a scroll lock key until today. I wonder what it does. \*\* Every time you press it, God kills a kitten. or something… ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/63 "2003-05-08T11:48:46Z")
In the old days, it would stop the scroll of a text documet as it catencated down the screen. If I remember correctly. It is currently the single most useless key on the keyboard; Print Screen gives you a snapshot of your desktop you can past into Paint, and pause/break when combined with the window key pops up your System Properties. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/64 "2003-05-08T11:50:14Z")
Concatencated. I think Excel still uses it. Turn scroll lock on and hit the down button, see what happens. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/65 "2003-05-08T12:27:18Z")
In my, quite possibly limited and selective, experience, complaints about Microsoft products fall into three broad categories :- - “Micro$oft is The Man! Open Source r00lz dude! Smash global capitalism!” (Actually, I agree that global capitalism deserves to be smashed, but complaints of this nature don’t speak to the actual quality of the products involved.) - Differences in design philosophy, or “Why do it _this_ way when everyone who isn’t an idiot does it _that_ way?” I think **lissener** ’s original question falls roughly in here … it _is_ possible to do what he (she?) wants, but not in the way s/he wants to do it … Quite common, this, because Microsoft does have a distinctive design philosophy, feature-rich and strong on interoperability, which many people, used to designing tight “elegant” code for specific applications, don’t like. And the feature-richness and interoperability do lead to bugs and security holes, which brings me on to the final category … - Actual legitimate complaints. Some MS software has bugs; some MS products are a genuine pain to use. I’ve posted my opinion of FrontPage 98 on this board … there are others I can think of. And Microsoft’s dominant position in the marketplace means that a lot of users will find, and complain about, the genuine problems very quickly and very loudly. Incidentally, I think **Anthracite** ’s question still stands, and **lissener** isn’t prohibited from responding in this thread … did the workarounds suggested in the GQ thread actually solve the problem? (Oh, and the mods are perfectly correct, IMHO, in trying to keep acrimonious personal opinions out of GQ.) ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/66 "2003-05-08T12:42:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lissener \* > \*\*The responses confirmed for me that I had indeed exhausted all possible workarounds–I had already attempted everything suggested–and that Microsoft made it impossible for Word to do what I needed it do until version XP. I have since confirmed with my boss that he ain’t payin no $800 to upgrade me to XP (neither would I, unless I could charge Bill Gates with extortion) just so I can use my toolbars as, well, as toolbars. \*\* That’s a hefty upgrade. You can buy XP and Office XP on E-Bay sometimes (legit copies) for around $100. You can also get a cheap Dell Dimension which comes with both for under $800. But it also might not be practical for you to have a different OS and Office than everyone else… ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/67 "2003-05-08T12:46:30Z")
On reviewing the rest of the thread, I see that the OP won’t be posting any more. Well, there are other Boards with PC-related Forums at least. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/68 "2003-05-08T14:49:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by manhattan \* > **lissener, you are banned from asking any computer related questions on this message board, whether they have to do with Microsoft products or not. Further, you are banned from posting to any computer-related thread in GQ, again whether it is discussing Microsoft products or not. This includes entirely theoretical discussions, historic questions, everything. Turing question? Too bad – you’re banned from it. Same with everything from ENAIC to AI.** Even banned from this thread? I mean, yeah, officially it’s a rant about a mod, but half of the title _does_ refer to a computer company. Isn’t that, like, you know… irony? So THAT’S what it looks like… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/69 "2003-05-08T15:16:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by manhattan \* > \*\*In other words, you are trolling and you have no intention of following our rules. > > To quote you, fuck that. > > **lissener** , you are banned from asking any computer related questions on this message board, whether they have to do with Microsoft products or not. Further, you are banned from posting to any computer-related thread in GQ, again whether it is discussing Microsoft products or not. This includes entirely theoretical discussions, historic questions, everything. Turing question? Too bad – you’re banned from it. Same with everything from ENAIC to AI. > > This does not exempt you from following forum rules. > > Failure to follow these instructions will result in you being banned from this message board. \*\* Eat me you squeaky fuck. You know as well as I do that I had no intention of trolling in GQ, any more than I wished literal death on Bill Gates. I’ve been posting to this board for over three years and any infraction I’ve ever committed have been minor, unintentional, and debatable. To pounce on such a thin excuse (a sarcastic mock threat—in the Pit—merely to goad the easily goadable; a mock threat made all the more threatening by use of the powerful qualifier “may”) in order to preemptively censor me is pathetic, you tiny minded loser. So I’m effectively banned fro GQ? Search my postings asshole. I’ve steered largely clear of GQ since it became clear to me that you lie awake nights quivering in a delicious agony of anticipation, contemplating your next opportunity to be a rude little fucker to me, or some other hapless victim of your sad little drunken whimperings. I insulted no individual Doper. I complained, in the process of asking a question, about a _product_. Until you have a forum completely free of any such sentiments—where no one ever asks a question about a subject that has upset them—where no one ever injects any emotion or opinion into their questions—until then, you’re a hypocritical asshole. And the ’Softies who took offense at my post should have taken me to the Pit—or reported the thread to a moderator and waited for them to make the call—rather than highjacked my GQ post to debate my “tone.” Which is more childish: posting a question that included some emotional background of the history of frustration that led me to ask the question, even framed hyperbolically as it was, or popping into the thread just to say, _“Well, I know the answer to your question, but I’m not gonna tell ya until you swear fealty to my boss; yelp yelp, nyah nyah.”_ Shouldn’t a less immoderate moderator have more properly asked THEM to take it to the Pit? Whose behavior was more against GQ policy, Manny, you hypocritical fuck? ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/70 "2003-05-08T15:29:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lissener \* > **So I’m effectively banned fro GQ? Search my postings asshole. I’ve steered largely clear of GQ since it became clear to me that you lie awake nights quivering in a delicious agony of anticipation, contemplating your next opportunity to be a rude little fucker to me, or some other hapless victim of your sad little drunken whimperings.** Seeing as you’ll now have more time available forums, how about starting an “Ask the guy with serious issues” thread? ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/71 "2003-05-08T15:34:26Z")
Why is it more important for you to spew your venom than to ask questions politely? ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/72 "2003-05-08T15:39:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*Quite frankly, **lissener** , since you’ve stated that and having worked in a place where _every fucking e-mail they sent out was a PowerPoint_ I rate someone who’s spent more hours with PP, than Word on the same level as you rate Bill Gates. PP is annoying fucking program and I have _never_ seen an instance where the presentation or e-mail was _improved_ by the use of PP. Personally, if I’m _ever_ in charge of a corporation, I will publicly _fire anyone who dares use a PP presentation in my presence!_ \*\* I agree 100%. Part of my animosity (does it really show?) toward all things Gatesian is due to my experience with PP. I was dropped into PP accidentally; temp needing a job, learned PP in 25 minutes, kept getting PP assignments after that, turned into a fulltime gig when nothing else was available. Personally, I think PowerPoint is hurting us as a species. (For the irony-impaired, of whom MANY have checked into this thread, that was _hyperbole_.) ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/73 "2003-05-08T15:40:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lissener \* > To pounce on such a thin excuse ( **a sarcastic mock threat** —in the Pit— **merely to goad the easily goadable** ; a mock threat made all the more threatening by use of the powerful qualifier “may”) in order to preemptively censor me is pathetic, you tiny minded loser. That’s the _definition_ of trolling. You’re not too bright, are you? If I was admin, that remark right there would have gotten you banned on the spot. But, hey, that’s me. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/74 "2003-05-08T15:42:48Z")
Anyone else seeing this as a good time for everyone to just walk away and let this one die? ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/75 "2003-05-08T15:43:06Z")
Oh, and to avoid the appearance of impropriety, the emphasis in the above quote is mine. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/76 "2003-05-08T15:54:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lissener \* > **Eat me you squeaky fuck.** Can I still get a bet in? $10 says before Wednesday, May 14, 2003, 20:00 CET. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/77 "2003-05-08T15:58:14Z")
You’re on, **Coldie**. No way he’ll last that long. ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/78 "2003-05-08T16:06:19Z")
> [@](#): > > _Jonathan Chance_ > Anyone else seeing this as a good time for everyone to just walk away and let this one die? Only if that means **Chas E** can come back. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/79 "2003-05-08T16:21:08Z")
Chas can come back, I need raw meat. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/80 "2003-05-08T16:38:56Z")
I can’t believe he didn’t get banned. Everyone knows when you complain about Microsoft, you have to call it “Micro$oft!” or “M$!!!” Sheesh, talk about a breach of ettiquette. And…Faster Manhattan Kill Kill! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757.md?page=5)