# Manhattan is a fuckwad, and Microsoft can suck my dick **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 7, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757 "2003-05-07T20:51:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/101 "2003-05-09T00:08:08Z")
Yes, he is, because my posts are ENTIRELY FREE of irony and hyperbole. You’ll continue to get the most out of this board, Guin, if you continue to take EVERYTHING EVERYONE SAYS at literal face value; no one here EVER uses sarcasm or irony or exaggeration. YOU are stalking me too, and David Letterman is, and the Pope. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/102 "2003-05-09T01:02:04Z")
That’s not funny man. The Pope really is stalking me. He kicked my ass in _Halo_ the other night. ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/103 "2003-05-09T01:35:39Z")
**lissener** , we’ve traced manhatten’s post, he’s in the house. GET OUT NOW! ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/104 "2003-05-09T02:02:01Z")
[Manhattan voice] Do you like scary movies? Do you like insulting Microsoft? Do you like…BANNINGS? [/MV] ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/105 "2003-05-09T03:02:52Z")
Well gee, maybe if you didn’t have your head stuffed so far up your own ass, **lissener** , I’d know the difference. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/106 "2003-05-09T03:09:05Z")
Microsoft Word stores customizations in templates for a very good reason - it allows developers to create templates with custom toolbars and menus for specific purposes. This functionality is not required in PowerPoint because all that is distributed is the generally lame read-only output. **lissener** must work at the only site on earth where normal.dot is used as a distributed template. Generally normal.dot resides on the users hard drive - mine is at C:\Program Files\Microsoft Office\Templates. The dozens of distributed document templates are at Q:\TemplatesOffice. They have letterheads, standard text, formatting etc and are plainly named - Security Access Request, Minutes, External Advise etc. These paths are spelled out in Tools/Options/File Locations. I keep my customizations in a separate document called Toolbars because normal.dot is the most commonly corrupted Word file and if corrupted has to be deleted to open Word. The file is automatically recreated if you do this. Then I just open Toolbars and go to Format/Style/Organiser/Toolbars and move my customizations to normal.dot. Windows XP will not overcome any problems with normal.dot as it is still where customizations are stored as far as I can see. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/107 "2003-05-09T03:58:51Z")
Stop complaining about MicroSuck, pissener! ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/108 "2003-05-09T10:01:36Z")
Is this still going on … ? In what way, **lissener** , are the various suggested workarounds not working for you? ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/109 "2003-05-09T10:28:21Z")
The more lissener posts, the more I hear some type of circus music playing in the background. Doot-doot dootle-ootle doot-doot doo-doo… ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/110 "2003-05-09T10:42:34Z")
For fucks sake Spoofe, that’s not how you spell circus music. It’s ‘doot doot doodle doodle doot doot doodle’ ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/111 "2003-05-09T11:15:08Z")
> [@](#): > > My insults, such as they were, for for the product and the company, not for any individual 'Softies. Sheesh. What part of “don’t insult anybody or anything in GQ, that’s what the Pit is for” don’t you understand? Are you having trouble with the words over three letters or something? If you want, I’m sure the mods will spell it out for you, using short words. > [@](#): > > It was after they all started dancing on their own that I jokingly said it might be fun to get them to do the same dance from time to time. Here man: I’ve got a shovel for you. It will make that hole you’re digging for yourself grow much faster. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/112 "2003-05-09T11:41:01Z")
> [@](#): > > For fucks sake Spoofe, that’s not how you spell circus music. > > It’s ‘doot doot doodle doodle doot doot doodle’ My dear sir, I am far more familiar in the inner workings of a good Dooting than you are. Your sad attempt at a Doot wouldn’t even match up with ANY established circus music (or, for that matter, cartoon music, such as the Looney Tunes theme). The full lyrics to the song Doot (which is an excerpt from _Entry of the Gladiators_) is thus: Doot doot dootle-ootle doot-doot doo-doo, doot doot dootle-ootle doot-doot doo-doo, DOOT dootle-ootle, DOOT dootle-ootle, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-DOOT-doot Repeat ad infinitum. THAT’S a Dooting. Now take your pathetic attempt at a Doot and go home, child, you’re bothing me. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/113 "2003-05-09T11:42:16Z")
Oops, did I just violate the “Don’t Post Complete Lyrics” rule? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/114 "2003-05-09T11:48:52Z")
Alright, now do that hockey song. You know. DUM dum dum dum DUM dum dum dum… Dummedadumdadum!!! That one. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/115 "2003-05-09T11:53:54Z")
CHARGE!!! ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/116 "2003-05-09T11:56:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hawthorne \* > \*\*Only if that means **Chas E** can come back. \*\* For your information, **Chas E** wasn’t _really_ banned. The _truth_ is that the secret armies of anime fans out there discovered that **Chas** knew the secret hippies who _really_ created The Transformers, kidnapped him and are trying to…extract…the secret knowledge of their whereabouts from him. The “banned” thing was just a lame attempt at a cover-up by the SDMB to protect their “plausible deniability”. What? Oh, Th’ op? He’s being a dick for reasons known only to him. The “The Mods are out to get me because they won’t let me have privileges that no one else has (like being a combatitive ass in GQ” thing is _so_ last year’s troll that I don’t get why he’s bothering. Is this supposed to be government sponsered performance “art” or some such? If so, where’s [the naked chick covering herself with chocolate](http://www.findarticles.com/cf_natrvw/m1282/n13_v50/20977852/p1/article.jhtml)? 'Cause if he were a naked chick covering himself with chocolate, I’d be much more inclined to pay attention to his whining. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/117 "2003-05-09T12:02:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*THAT’S a Dooting. Now take your pathetic attempt at a Doot and go home, child, you’re bothing me. \*\* You poor child. That’s like saying you are a good reader because you can make it through “Dick and Jane”. A real man doesn’t Dootle the circus song, a _real_ man dootles “Singin’ In the Rain”: Dootle-oot-doo, dootle-ootle-oot-dootle, dootle dootle-oot-doo dootle-ootle-oot-dootle See? Much more macho. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/118 "2003-05-09T12:05:52Z")
I dunno, man. I imagined you singing that in Donna Reed’s voice. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/119 "2003-05-09T12:47:53Z")
Although I have indeed shot things equivalent to manhattan out of my penis, I have to tell you: I’ve shot things equivalent of the OP out of my ass. When I had dysentery. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/120 "2003-05-09T14:19:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Steve Wright \* > \*\*Is this still going on … ? In what way, **lissener** , are the various suggested workarounds not working for you? \*\* All of the suggested workarounds had been attempted before I even posted my original GQ. As I said, I only get to that point when I’ve exhausted everything else. The only one I haven’t tried yet, which I will attempt today, is the macro suggested above. I will try it, though it’s my (limited) understanding that macros travel with specific documents as well, and will be subject to the same limitations as toolbar customizations. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757.md?page=7)