# Manhattan is a fuckwad, and Microsoft can suck my dick **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 7, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757 "2003-05-07T20:51:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/121 "2003-05-09T14:36:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\* > > What? Oh, Th’ op? He’s being a dick for reasons known only to him. The “The Mods are out to get me because they won’t let me have privileges that no one else has (like being a combatitive ass in GQ” thing is _so_ last year’s troll that I don’t get why he’s bothering. > \*\* Hmm, mathmatcially it works out to 70% blatent attention-whoring and 30% generally clueless buffonery would be my guess, just like every other billy-goat gruff we get. I am worried he will flame out too fast and ruin my predicted time though. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/122 "2003-05-09T19:15:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lissener \* > \*\*The only one I haven’t tried yet, which I will attempt today, is the macro suggested above. I will try it, though it’s my (limited) understanding that macros travel with specific documents as well, and will be subject to the same limitations as toolbar customizations. \*\* Your understanding is correct about macros travelling with documents or templates. The trick with the macro solution was not to get around that but to automate the replication of the universal template to a local location, and update it with your customizations as often as you want it to. In fact, you would be essentually creating a form of a macro virus, but since it is not malicious it should be more likened to a macro stem cell or something. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/123 "2003-05-09T21:56:39Z")
> [@](#): > > You poor child. That’s like saying you are a good reader because you can make it through “Dick and Jane”. > > A real man doesn’t Dootle the circus song, a real man dootles “Singin’ In the Rain”: You fool, you don’t “Doot” to _Singin’ in the Rain_, you “Dah” it. Just like how you “La” to _Twinkle Twinkle Little Star_ and “Bum-bum” to just about any hard rock song ever made. Don’t you know ANYTHING?!?!? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/124 "2003-05-09T22:45:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\*You poor child. That’s like saying you are a good reader because you can make it through “Dick and Jane”. > > A real man doesn’t Dootle the circus song, a _real_ man dootles “Singin’ In the Rain”: > > Dootle-oot-doo, dootle-ootle-oot-dootle, dootle dootle-oot-doo dootle-ootle-oot-dootle > > See? Much more macho. > > Fenris \*\* Why is this little tangent so much scarier than the OP’s rageaholic antics. Ever time I think I have been exposed to the absolutely sub-basement of pedantry on the SDMB another level is exposed. We now now have a debate over the appropriate onomatopoetic phraseology of circus music. I’m getting the big mason jar to put Fenris and Spoofe in and letting them tussle it out. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/125 "2003-05-10T18:20:18Z")
Okay. What’s this all about? ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/126 "2003-05-10T18:58:49Z")
Manny-mahna! Doot doot de doot doot… ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/127 "2003-05-10T19:04:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > \*\*Okay. What’s this all about? \*\* the hokey pokey, of course. why do you ask? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/128 "2003-05-10T20:10:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > \*\*Okay. What’s this all about? \*\* **lissner** was being a combative ass in GQ, **mahattan** called “lockdown” on that thread, and now lissener is being a whiny, whinging bitch about it all. And there’s some circus music too. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/129 "2003-05-11T00:23:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\ ***lissner** was being a combative ass in GQ, **mahattan** called “lockdown” on that thread, and now lissener is being a whiny, whinging bitch about it all. > > And there’s some circus music too. \*\* When do we get to the pie? I like pie. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/130 "2003-05-11T00:40:11Z")
Underdoot… I mean, pants. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/131 "2003-05-11T01:07:42Z")
SPOOFE, why don’t you doot the toothbrush song for us, like you used to do? That’s always such a crowd pleaser. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/132 "2003-05-11T01:51:46Z")
Hey, I told you, Clogcock, I don’t do that anymore! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/133 "2003-05-11T11:28:50Z")
“Squeaky fuck”?? May I suggest Astroglide… ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/134 "2003-05-11T19:52:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\ ***lissner** was being a combative ass in GQ, **mahattan** called “lockdown” on that thread, and now lissener is being a whiny, whinging bitch about it all. > > And there’s some circus music too. \*\* That’s why I don’t trust history. You never know who wrote it. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/135 "2003-05-11T21:00:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > \*\*That’s why I don’t trust history. You never know who wrote it. \*\* Anybody else suffering “the lights-the colors!” flashbacks to **Lib’s** dissection of biblical scriptures? ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/136 "2003-05-11T23:26:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > \*\*“Squeaky fuck”?? > > May I suggest Astroglide… \*\* Yeah, it doesn’t leave a sticky residue like that other one… It’s a modern miracle, Baby! Unless, of course, “squeaky fuck” was referring to Jerry getting his rodential cheese groove on. Then, yeah: never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/137 "2003-05-12T00:07:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TVeblen \* > \*\*Anybody else suffering “the lights-the colors!” flashbacks to **Lib’s** dissection of biblical scriptures? \*\* No. 'Course, I wasn’t there. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/138 "2003-05-12T14:33:53Z")
FordPrefect, Dooku,\* et al.\*: Workarounds aside (thanks for which anyway; none is a solution), here’s my main objection: It seems likely to me (though I have no actual idea) that, in the beginning–Word 1.0–it made perfect sense (or at least there was nothing to suggest otherwise) to save the toolbar customizations to the document, i.e. to the template, as opposed to _the toolbar_; the presumed paradigm, I presume, was a single user at a single computer doing “simple” text documents. In that earlier model, the customizations would rest comfortably on the native template. As the program–and its users–became more sophisticated, however, this made less and less sense: files were more likely to be shared; the template is likely to be customized for more than one user; Word became a huge honkin program that would come to be used (inappropriately, IMHO) as a poor man’s PageMaker or Quark; etc. In any case, PowerPoint got it right: since the “point” of the toolbars–especially of their customization–is for the USER, not the DOCUMENT, the toolbars DO rest comfortably on the customizer’s native harddrive, and he/she is able to use his toolbox to edit many different documents, created from many different templates. Simple solution. At my office, we use 14 different Word templates, and 11 different PowerPoint templates–depending on what department, the doc is coming out of; whether it’s a proposal for a project or the project itself; whether it’s for a big client with their own format; etc., ad nauseum. The first drafts of these documents, the raw doc that comes to me in the Production department, is often created by a Consultant on their laptop; often in the field, sometimes at a client’s office. Sometimes it’s emailed from a foreign country. Then it’s my job to clean it up, hammer it into format, ready it for print production, PDF, or electronic export. _None of these infinite variables is a problem in PowerPoint, because my toolbars always stay the same._ I’ve invested probably a dozen hours customizing my PowerPoint toolbars, and this makes the most frequently performed an the most complicated tasks in PowerPoint a relative breeze. In Word, however, every time I want to—for example—bump up by one point each all the differently sized fonts in a table, I have to dig the button to do this out of the customization box. And then next time, when I open a different document, built on a different template, from a different source, I have to do all this again. Now, where does this make sense? Under what possible logic does doing it this way make more sense than doing it the PowerPoint way, where a USER’s customizations are saved on the USER’s computer? Word’s way is contrary to the very concept of customization: _these changes must be universal to everyone who uses this template._ In PowerPoint, they need only affect the individual user who changed them: walla, customized. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/139 "2003-05-12T15:19:53Z")
You are all wrong. the circus song goes like this. doot doot doodle doodle doot do do do do doot doot doodle doodle doot do do do do Doot doodle do do Doot doodle do do _doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle_ do do the italicised doodles are one continuous run, and breaking the flow with needless _doots_ is beyond contempt. And don’t even get me started on the 1812. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757/140 "2003-05-12T18:22:02Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **wring** _ > > that’s right. 'cause we have **high standards** for our drama queens around here, dammit. 😉 :dubious: I’m sure I wouldn’t know _what_ you were talking about. Esprix [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manhattan-is-a-fuckwad-and-microsoft-can-suck-my-dick/173757.md?page=8)