# Manservant Hecubus will kiss YOUR ass! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 25, 2001, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235 "2001-04-25T03:58:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Wicked\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/2acd7d/32.png) [@Wicked\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wicked_Blue)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/1 "2001-04-25T03:58:44Z")
That’s right! **Manservant Hecubus** will kiss your ass, free of charge, right here, right now. Impossible, you say? No, not at all… **Manservant Hecubus** has been honing his ass-kissing skills for years, resulting in ass-kissery at it’s finest, all the while hoping and praying for an opportunity like this to arise where he could put all his hard work to good use. Having a shitty day? Feeling blue? Have **Manservant Hecubus** lift your spirits with his praise! Feel like no one appreciates you? **Manservant Hecubus** will remind you why you are so very special. Step up and have a go at it! ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/2 "2001-04-25T04:03:46Z")
Well, you’ve heard me complain in chat enough to know what I need. Give it to me, baby. A nice ass-kissin’. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/3 "2001-04-25T04:10:09Z")
Count me in…pucker up Brian… Keith ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/4 "2001-04-25T04:17:18Z")
Oh, oh! Me next! ::unzips his pants:: 😃 Give me a good go around with those sexy Manservant Lips, **Hickie** ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/5 "2001-04-25T04:19:44Z")
Yeah, I’m in. I’ll even wear a skirt to make it easier for you. 😃 Robin ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/6 "2001-04-25T04:22:37Z")
K i s s m y **a s s !!!** Now eat shit and die, you monkeyf\*ck loser! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/7 "2001-04-25T04:46:11Z")
Come here, Bri hon…plant one right on me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rally\_s\_Friend\_User\_Name](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@Rally\_s\_Friend\_User\_Name](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rally_s_Friend_User_Name)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/8 "2001-04-25T06:10:21Z")
Evil! ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/9 "2001-04-25T11:53:06Z")
Smooch away Manservent Hecubus…anyone cool enough to use a KITH reference as a username … ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/10 "2001-04-25T14:49:35Z")
What the hell, I haven’t had a good ass-kissing in …well, ever. Pucker up, my friend 😃 ---
**Author:** ![monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monster)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/11 "2001-04-25T14:54:29Z")
\ I could use a good ass kissing. I’m ready whenever you are. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/12 "2001-04-25T17:16:24Z")
I have to admit, I’ve seen some good OP’s since I’ve been here, but this is by far the best! Look at how well defined my task is! It couldn’t be clearer if it were made of glass. I’m speechless! Not only this, but she’s a knockout as well. Oh yes, I’ve seen your picture on the people pages, you minx. What a rare jewel, and here on our board, blessing us all with her presence! I dedicate all my further posts to Wicked Blue, and hope that each and every one shines half so bright as she does! ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/13 "2001-04-25T17:19:11Z")
You know what to do. I want a reach-around with mine… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/14 "2001-04-25T17:24:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by porcupine \* > \*\*Well, you’ve heard me complain in chat enough to know what I need. Give it to me, baby. A nice ass-kissin’. \*\* If only I **could** give you what you need, I would be among the happiest men on the face of the earth. To touch your skin, to fluff your pillows at night, to supply you with and endless cache of batteries, what more could a man aspire for? One night, I saw a feather float to the ground, and I watched motionless as it came to rest on autumn leaves. Every time I think of you, I recall that moment, as if your grage were descending to me, a husk of a man. And,I would mow your lawn daily. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/15 "2001-04-25T17:26:34Z")
If **Manservant Hecubus** is whom I suspect he is, I’d like a little ass-kissing too! Sign me up! ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/16 "2001-04-25T17:59:02Z")
I’ve never known anyone is as much need of a good ass-kissing as myself right now. _fingers resting on zipper pull_ Do you have a cheek preference? Or do you just want the one with the fewest blemishes? ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/17 "2001-04-25T18:11:44Z")
Pucker up, Portnoy. My ass is in need of some smoochin’. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/18 "2001-04-25T22:04:23Z")
**Odieman**. You, sir, are godlike. When I need to smile, I always turn to you. Each and every one of your posts are a breath of fresh spring air in this stale winter of originality. I sense that you are a crafty individual as well, able to mend broken items around the house with the most rudimentary of tools. And, I’ve heard stories about you! A generous lover, indeed! Well, most of the ladies I’ve ehard from say that nobody compares to you. In a world of Color Me Badd, you are Prince. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/19 "2001-04-25T22:04:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sue Duhnym \* > \*\*If **Manservant Hecubus** is whom I suspect he is, I’d like a little ass-kissing too! > > Sign me up! \*\* Nope, sorry **Sue** , I’m _still_ **Demo**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235/20 "2001-04-25T22:10:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mercutio \* > \*\*Oh, oh! Me next! ::unzips his pants:: 😃 > Give me a good go around with those sexy Manservant Lips, **Hickie** \*\* **Mercutio** , if I were any man other than myself, I would be you. I have NEVER seen anyone so quick witted before. Your ability to turn a conversation from a dull slow depressionfest into a riot of laughter goes unmatched. He’s handsome as well, folks. Merc, can I make you a sandwich, or something? Would you like a drink? You just name it, and I’ll see what I can do for you. Merc is the man. Deal with it, lesser beings. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/manservant-hecubus-will-kiss-your-ass/63235.md?page=2)