# March forth with your March minirants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 1, 2015, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928 "2015-03-01T14:16:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/81 "2015-03-05T05:29:03Z")
All those milks aren’t milks, they’re horchatas; by composition, by how they’re made and by organoleptic testing. They get called “milk” because the people who market them don’t know the term “horchata”. It pisses me off that because they get called milk but are vegetarian, people think they’re “the same stuff as comes out of a cow, but healthier”. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/82 "2015-03-05T06:47:05Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > All those milks aren’t milks, they’re horchatas; by composition, by how they’re made and by organoleptic testing. They get called “milk” because the people who market them don’t know the term “horchata”. > > It pisses me off that because they get called milk but are vegetarian, people think they’re “the same stuff as comes out of a cow, but healthier”. They’re _non-dairy milks_. Why would you insist English-only speakers call something by a foreign name when there’s an English equivalent? It’s like me getting mad at my Mexican friend insisting on calling himself Alejandro and not letting me call him Alexander. Hey, I don’t speak Spanish, that’s the best I can do. To me, “horchata” is a specific drink I can get from Mexican eateries, made with rice milk, sugar, cinnamon and vanilla. Nobody thinks almond milk is like cow milk (???). Talk about lost in translation. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/83 "2015-03-05T08:03:46Z")
Dear Self: Internet works better when you remember to pay the bill. Dear Internet Provider: Self would pay bill in a timely manner if, like all of my other creditors and service providers, you enabled some way to easily pay bills on line. Because (a) this is, after all, the 21st century; and (b) you are a freaking _internet provider_. And I _want_ to use the internet, because it’s so easy to pay bills that way! But nooooo… In order to pay you guys via internet, I have to go to a website, fill out a buttload of account information, and request a PIN for your bill pay site, which can’t be e-mailed to me, because I don’t use your crappy e-mail service and have no clue what that password might be, so I ask that it be mailed to me. It’s never mailed to me. Almost a year into this business relationship, and I can’t get you to mail me a password? Or, better yet, get with the program and text it to me? Or send it to my real email, rather than your crummy @frontier.net? (Hint: when I go to the local office to pay the bill, and both of the customers ahead of me have the same issue, you might want to have someone check on that whole “mail customer a PIN” thing.) Also, why? I’m trying to make a payment. If I have an account #, why can’t I just pay? It’s not like there’s a major privacy issue. I can pay my power bill with just the account number. I can pay my LP delivery charge with just the account number and address. Sure, the insurance company and cell phone payments requires a user name and password, but I set those up for myself. What’s so special about my cable and internet service that I can’t just set up my own password? May you spend your afterlives on hold with your customer service division… ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/84 "2015-03-05T08:47:50Z")
The modem they provided you with is really just a block of wood, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/85 "2015-03-05T11:06:56Z")
Dear housemate. I have a stovetop espresso maker, which I use daily. This involves putting it on the stovetop. When I have finished using it, it is still very hot, so I generally put it back on there while it cools down, rather than on the wooden counter. Sometimes, therefore, you may encounter my stovetop espresso maker, on the stove, when it is not apparently in immediate use. There are many ways you could react to this situation: You could check it is now fairly cool, then move it onto the side (perhaps near where your cafetiere that you use maybe once a week lives), or by the sink (where things that need cleaning go), or just next to the stove (where half your empty glass bottle collection lives); You could simply ignore it, after all, there are many rings on the stove, and at the last count there were two large empty pans on there, one of which has been there unused for well over a week, which you happily ignore; Or, you could not even bother to check if it still has liquid in, and just throw it into a random cupboard (no need to check which cupboard- pick a new one every time, it’s not as though it’s out as it’s in regular use or anything!), then get angry at me for not immediately cleaning a boiling hot item, like it’s the only thing out of place in a kitchen full of your random crap. I am not sure why, after a year and a half of choosing option one or two, option three has suddenly shot to prominence. I’m also not sure why your own large junk collection (which you get angry if anyone moves, while simultaneously bitching about the kitchen being full of junk) is apparently invisible to you, and your new tidiness campaign is so tightly focused on this one item of mine, which, as I say, is used every single day, being now kept in a randomly picked out of sight place, despite being still full of liquid. I must say though, I’m getting really bloody glad you’re moving out in just over a week. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/86 "2015-03-05T11:34:31Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > Dear Internet Provider: Self would pay bill in a timely manner if, like all of my other creditors and service providers, you enabled some way to easily pay bills on line. Heh, my problem isn’t as bad as yours, but, while I pay all my bills except my housing online, easily the hardest bill to pay online is my DSL. It takes _several minutes_ for the page to log in to my account for some reason. That’s if I remember if I’m supposed to log in to the correct place with my correct account! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/87 "2015-03-05T13:31:55Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > Dear housemate. > > I have a stovetop espresso maker, which I use daily. This involves putting it on the stovetop. When I have finished using it, it is still very hot, so I generally put it back on there while it cools down, rather than on the wooden counter. > > Sometimes, therefore, you may encounter my stovetop espresso maker, on the stove, when it is not apparently in immediate use. There are many ways you could react to this situation: > > You could check it is now fairly cool, then move it onto the side (perhaps near where your cafetiere that you use maybe once a week lives), or by the sink (where things that need cleaning go), or just next to the stove (where half your empty glass bottle collection lives); > > You could simply ignore it, after all, there are many rings on the stove, and at the last count there were two large empty pans on there, one of which has been there unused for well over a week, which you happily ignore; > > Or, you could not even bother to check if it still has liquid in, and just throw it into a random cupboard (no need to check which cupboard- pick a new one every time, it’s not as though it’s out as it’s in regular use or anything!), then get angry at me for not immediately cleaning a boiling hot item, like it’s the only thing out of place in a kitchen full of your random crap. > > I am not sure why, after a year and a half of choosing option one or two, option three has suddenly shot to prominence. I’m also not sure why your own large junk collection (which you get angry if anyone moves, while simultaneously bitching about the kitchen being full of junk) is apparently invisible to you, and your new tidiness campaign is so tightly focused on this one item of mine, which, as I say, is used every single day, being now kept in a randomly picked out of sight place, despite being still full of liquid. > > I must say though, I’m getting really bloody glad you’re moving out in just over a week. Why do I get the feeling that the mystery in paragraph 6 has something to do with paragraph 7? ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/88 "2015-03-05T13:47:18Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > Two weeks is standard shipping from Zenni unless you pay way more than the $5. Of course it took two weeks. It goes on a shipping container from China and then mailed from California. > (Trying to be helpful, not critical :)) > Are you sure you ordered the correct size frame width for your head? If the temples are too tight, pretty much all you can do is bend the arms outward, which is not a good look. For instance, my minimum frame width is 130mm and 135mm is definitely more comfortable, I have a couple as wide as 137mm, but 140mm would fall off my head. > > The trick with ordering from Zenni is knowing what frame size parameters work best for you - all those numbers, bridge width is another one for me (16mm in plastic, can do wider if metal with adjustable nose pads) - and doing searches within those parameters. Plus definitely upload a picture of your face. Even though it’s not the most accurate as far as width, you will definitely see whether they would look good on you. > > If you did all that, Zenni will certainly take them back. When I had a pair (one out of 7 over three years) I didn’t like, I ordered a totally different pair right away and then sent the first ones back for full credit. Yes, it took two more weeks but in the end was worth it! This was my first order with them. Unfortunately I did not take frame width into consideration - never really crossed my mind! I’ll have to dig out a ruler and check my old frames. I’m worried about trying to adjust them because they are plastic. Maybe it’s time to look into sending them back. Harumph. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/89 "2015-03-05T14:05:07Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > All those milks aren’t milks, they’re horchatas; by composition, by how they’re made and by organoleptic testing. They get called “milk” because the people who market them don’t know the term “horchata”…". I will bet you one (1) Imaginary Internet Dollar that this becomes a thing in marketing in America within the next couple of years. Might even replace quinoa and kale for top spot as beloved healthy/foodie trend. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/90 "2015-03-05T14:16:55Z")
C’mon, why not make it interesting? Bet a MILLION imaginary Internet dollars. … ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/91 "2015-03-05T18:11:34Z")
Nava, with all due respect, I don’t know of many here in the US who would drink anything called “horchata”. When I said it out loud it sounded like a fancy “horse shit”. I do know many people who drink various non-dairy milks, myself included. I agree that it’s very personal and people need to try different ones. I love almond milk, but soy milk tasted like the run-off from water-soaked paper. I got an almond/coconut mix that was REALLY good. Haven’t tried anything hemp yet. ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/92 "2015-03-05T18:28:52Z")
Ended up having a huge fight with the boyfriend, due to the issues mentioned earlier in this thread. We haven’t talked in over 24 hours. Also, found out that the concern was not undue, as my roommate’s “liver level” (or whatever they use to measure a liver’s health) is ten times above the normal range, meaning he can’t ever drink again. I’m not really sure how to handle having beer, wine, liquor, etc., in the apartment now. The only silver lining in this whole thing is that the dark spot on his kidney was probably just a shadow. ---
**Author:** ![dzeiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/46a35a/32.png) [@dzeiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dzeiger)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/93 "2015-03-05T18:29:37Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > Nava, with all due respect, I don’t know of many here in the US who would drink anything called “horchata”. Isn’t he the guy from Welcome Back Kotter? ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/94 "2015-03-05T18:46:58Z")
> [@Calatin](#): > > “liver level” (or whatever they use to measure a liver’s health) Liver enzymes. The liver’s health is measured by the amount of liver enzymes in the blood. This is because when a liver is unhealthy, it has a higher than normal rate of apoptosis, or programmed cell death. Which works exactly the way it sounds… cells go pop. Pop. Pop. And the enzymes that were inside them end up in the blood stream. We measured our own liver enzymes for a biology lab, when I was in college. I had mononucleosis that week. My electrophoretic gel was unreadable. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/95 "2015-03-05T19:06:29Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > All those milks aren’t milks, they’re horchatas; by composition, by how they’re made and by organoleptic testing. They get called “milk” because the people who market them don’t know the term “horchata”. > > It pisses me off that because they get called milk but are vegetarian, people think they’re “the same stuff as comes out of a cow, but healthier”. > [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > They’re _non-dairy milks_. Why would you insist English-only speakers call something by a foreign name when there’s an English equivalent? I’d like to side with **Nava** here, but I can’t. All the dictionaries I checked had multiple definitions of “milk,” along the lines of > [@](#): > > 1 a fluid secreted by the mammary glands of females for the nourishment of their young; especially : cow’s milk used as a food by humans > > 2 a liquid resembling milk in appearance “Non-dairy milks” are a contradiction in terms if you go by the first definition, but perfectly acceptable by the second; and terms like “coconut milk” and “soy milk” are widely accepted names for those substances. Sure, they aren’t “the same stuff as” milk; but neither are peanut butter, almond butter, or apple butter the same stuff as butter. > [@Helena330](#): > > Nava, with all due respect, I don’t know of many here in the US who would drink anything called “horchata”. I would, and have. Horchata is fairly common here in the US at many of the more authentic Mexican restaurants. (Plus it’s a song by Vampire Weekend, FWIW.) ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/96 "2015-03-05T19:43:56Z")
Oh delicious irony. Guy on my bus who is forever badmouthing Obama and “Liberals” and had once engaged in a conversation with this woman about how “someone” needed to assassinate Obama. Today he was talking to her and bitching about “Liberal Judges”. I was well back in the line and didn’t hear the details, nor did I want to. Then on the bus he starts in with me about how his co-worker’s father died at age 97. They had four in-home nurse visits in the last week of the guy’s life and they were billed $7700 for it, of which $5400 was paid by Medicare. And how this is all because of those worthless people who use the emergency room all the time and never pay for it. I said “Well, that’s part of that whole bit about requiring people to have insurance. But _some people_ seem to have a problem with that idea.” Silence for about 3 minutes, then he changed the subject. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/97 "2015-03-05T19:56:00Z")
**Chimera** , if I had someone like that on my bus, I’d probably take a different bus (though I understand that may not be an option for you - I’m just saying what I myself would do in that situation.) Though I don’t usually have problems like that, and people on the buses here don’t usually talk to each other if they don’t know each other. My rant for now: Don’t you hate it when you blow all your money on an expensive piece of software, and it just suddenly decides not to work? Yeah, just happened to me. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/98 "2015-03-05T20:18:02Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > **Chimera** , if I had someone like that on my bus, I’d probably take a different bus (though I understand that may not be an option for you - I’m just saying what I myself would do in that situation.) Though I don’t usually have problems like that, and people on the buses here don’t usually talk to each other if they don’t know each other. We know each other, work for the same company in different buildings. I’ve been to his house and helped him both pick out and set up his new computer. But he wasn’t spouting any of this nonsense back then. It’s only been the last 3-4 months he’s been this much of an ass. My politics are clearly very different from his, but he’s turned into one of those mouthy conservatives who never seem to pay attention to their audience. I have to take this bus every other month, so I don’t see him in even months. On a couple of occasions, I’ve deliberately shown up just before the bus leaves so that I won’t end up sitting near him. Tomorrow will be one such day. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/99 "2015-03-05T20:26:19Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > . . . Dear Internet Provider: Self would pay bill in a timely manner if, like all of my other creditors and service providers, you enabled some way to easily pay bills on line. . . . I have no idea how hard it is to pay any of my bills directly online because I pay them online through my bank. If the creditor has a way to handshake with the bank, it’s transferred directly. If they don’t, and most medical people or groups don’t, then the bank sends them a check about five days before the date you chose for payment. If your provider has a billing address and you have an account number, that should be all you need to make that work. If the bill is the same every month, you can make it an automatic payment. Since it’s through your bank, it will be an automatic payment that you have control over, by internet. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/100 "2015-03-05T20:28:42Z")
Oh, I see, **Chimera**. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928.md?page=6)