# March forth with your March minirants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 1, 2015, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928 "2015-03-01T14:16:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2015, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/121 "2015-03-08T23:49:55Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > My very lame rant: My cats HATE DSL. They didn’t mind getting their gooshy food early in the fall, but an hour late is totally not acceptable. They want to move back to Arizona post-haste. Cats tell time with their stomachs, the laws of man be damned. Personally, this is one law I could see the last of with some pleasure. How are Steve and his kitten doing? How is Lucky? Still being retrieved by Buttercup? Did you get a new minion, and are they performing satisfactorily? You’re supposed to keep us up to date on all the doings, and you’re falling down on the job. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/122 "2015-03-09T04:13:26Z")
I read an article in the NY Times a few days ago about a newly commissioned composition that had been yanked from the New York Youth Symphony program because it contained the Horst Wessel song. Out of curiosity, I looked it up on YouTube. And now I cannot get the fucking thing out of my head. I’m terrified that I’m going to start absentmindedly humming it in public and somebody is going to recognize it and think I’m a Nazi sympathizer. Arrrrrghhh!!! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/123 "2015-03-09T04:55:53Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > My very lame rant: My cats HATE DSL. They didn’t mind getting their gooshy food early in the fall, but an hour late is totally not acceptable. They want to move back to Arizona post-haste. Okay, now I’m confused. Do your cats prefer dial-up? And how does that relate to mealtimes, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/124 "2015-03-09T05:28:21Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > Cats tell time with their stomachs, the laws of man be damned. Personally, this is one law I could see the last of with some pleasure. > > How are Steve and his kitten doing? How is Lucky? Still being retrieved by Buttercup? Did you get a new minion, and are they performing satisfactorily? You’re supposed to keep us up to date on all the doings, and you’re falling down on the job. > > 😉 Thanks for asking 🙂 Steve’s kitten has gotten too big for Steve to drag up the stairs. For a while I’d hear a shuffle, thump, shuffle, thump noise as he tried. She loves him so let him try. Now he grabs her by the back of the neck and they run up the stairs together until Steve trips. That’s when I hear thump, thump, hiss, thump. I’ll bet he could go up the stairs better if he was watching where he was going. They were wonderful window decorations for Halloween. Steve’s kitten would happily sit in the window (she’s black) and Steve (who is orange) would sit next to her all puffed up and look like a pumpkin. For random people, not Dopers who know better…please don’t get cats for house decorations. They are living, breathing animals who need care and love. Lucky has learned that if he escapes, he will get covered in dog slobber. How humiliating! Lucky has also stopped getting stuck in random places, probably because of the above mentioned dog slobber problem. Now he cuddles up next to Westley and scares the poor little girl into freezing in terror. Lucky is a very bad cat. > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Okay, now I’m confused. Do your cats prefer dial-up? And how does that relate to mealtimes, anyway? Snerts. Yeah, the time change messes with me as well. Sorry. I do think the cats like the high speed internet here better. It gives them more time to walk on my keyboard while I’m getting coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/125 "2015-03-09T05:46:50Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Thanks for asking 🙂 Steve’s kitten has gotten too big for Steve to drag up the stairs. For a while I’d hear a shuffle, thump, shuffle, thump noise as he tried. She loves him so let him try. Now he grabs her by the back of the neck and they run up the stairs together until Steve trips. That’s when I hear thump, thump, hiss, thump. I’ll bet he could go up the stairs better if he was watching where he was going. Does Steve’s kitten have a real name, or is she only known as “Steve’s kitten”? ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/126 "2015-03-09T13:42:41Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > My very lame rant: My cats HATE DSL. They didn’t mind getting their gooshy food early in the fall, but an hour late is totally not acceptable. They want to move back to Arizona post-haste. > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Okay, now I’m confused. Do your cats prefer dial-up? And how does that relate to mealtimes, anyway? Everybody knows cats prefer cable to DSL. Much more fun to play with. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/127 "2015-03-09T14:55:24Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Geeze, that sucks. At least when I fuck up needlework, all I have to do is buy some more thread. Starting over with new wood doesn’t sound fun. You have my sympathy. The coffee table will now be an end table, so it’s not a total loss. Yet. ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/128 "2015-03-09T16:10:02Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > The coffee table will now be an end table, so it’s not a total loss. Yet. Ha! I’ve got one of those, from my uncle. I think it went coffee table –\> end table –\> “futon nightstand” (too short for a full-sized bed). ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/129 "2015-03-09T16:18:47Z")
My poor mom. Her best buddy told her last Monday she had pancreatic cancer, but the outlook was good. Friday night she felt off, so went to the ER. Died Saturday morning. Just received word a guy I used to work with - a Mr. Rogers-type nice guy, always a good word to say in a crappy job - died yesterday from cancer. Fuck cancer. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/130 "2015-03-09T16:21:35Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > My very lame rant: My cats HATE DSL. They didn’t mind getting their gooshy food early in the fall, but an hour late is totally not acceptable. They want to move back to Arizona post-haste. Not to quibble, but they are actually getting their food an hour earlier in the spring, not in the fall. Clock says 8am, it’s actually 7am (“spring forward”). This is the first time in my memory when I have not hated the change to DST. I just get up when I feel like it. Just another way that being retired is great. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/131 "2015-03-09T16:42:43Z")
Sorry for your losses, **MissTake**. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/132 "2015-03-09T17:20:03Z")
> [@MissTake](#): > > My poor mom. Her best buddy told her last Monday she had pancreatic cancer, but the outlook was good. > Friday night she felt off, so went to the ER. > Died Saturday morning. That sucks. Unfortunately, the notion of a good outlook with pancreatic cancer is almost an oxymoron. The five-year survival rate is about 4.5%, the lowest survival rate of all forms of cancer. Basically, once they diagnose pancreatic cancer, it’s usually too far along, and in too many organs, for any really meaningful treatment. ---
**Author:** ![Wednesday\_Evening](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b2d939/32.png) [@Wednesday\_Evening](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wednesday_Evening)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/133 "2015-03-09T17:35:46Z")
Kid 1.0 just got over a bad stomach bug that caused him to miss 6 days of school. Yesterday he hurt his knee in a freak bounce house incident and as of this morning still can’t put any weight on it. I sent him to school on crutches and will take him to urgent care after school. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/134 "2015-03-09T17:36:02Z")
Sorry to hear that, **MissTake**. And agree with the “Fuck cancer.” ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/135 "2015-03-09T19:42:56Z")
> [@Canadjun](#): > > Everybody knows cats prefer cable to DSL. Much more fun to play with. > > 😃 I figured their Facebook pages must be loading too slowly. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/136 "2015-03-09T23:09:46Z")
Hating Pepsi Co. right now. They seem to be discontinuing 24-oz. bottles of Mt. Dew, which just happen to work beautifully for my needs. Those stupid little 16.9-oz. won’t work out well as far as calibrating my intake, and the 12-oz. bottles wind up with higher unit costs. Cans are not an option at work due to rules about open cans in the breakroom fridge. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2015, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/137 "2015-03-10T00:04:34Z")
> [@Lightray](#): > > Ha! I’ve got one of those, from my uncle. I think it went coffee table –\> end table –\> “futon nightstand” (too short for a full-sized bed). It ain’t over till the last saw cut is made. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2015, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/138 "2015-03-10T00:44:28Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Hurray that Eldest has a love of books! I’m guessing you already paid for the book. However, if it happens again ask if you can replace it. I’ve had 2 different vehicles eat library audiobook CD’s. Both times I was able to find a new copy on Amazon for MUCH less than the $60-70 cost it was listed for in the library system. I had to pay a small amount for a processing fee which I certainly didn’t quibble over. Library won’t let us alas. Latest dumb ass on review of my book: > [@](#): > > 1.0 out of 5 stars Was this written in a drug store waiting room?, March 9, 2015 > By “story dweller” (Michigan) - See all my reviews > > This review is from: Your Baby’s Best Shot: Why Vaccines Are Safe and Save Lives (Hardcover) > > This book starts out terribly, gets even worse, and is not even close to informative. There are MANY better books out there on this subject, one of the best at including all aspects of vaccination would be “Make an Informed Vaccine Decision for the Health of Your Child: A Parent’s Guide to Childhood Shots”, written by an actual doctor. (In contrast, the authors of THIS book are professional pharmaceutical marketers (without children)). DO THE RESEARCH. Hey Ms. “do the research” I have two girls and neither I nor my co-author have worked for the pharm industry. Sheesh. The little one is finally in preschool so I have some time to plot a second book. The other one is a honors student and ten times fucking smarter than you are. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2015, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/139 "2015-03-10T14:28:51Z")
Pain management sucks. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2015, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928/140 "2015-03-10T21:18:54Z")
> [@Lightray](#): > > Ha! I’ve got one of those, from my uncle. I think it went coffee table –\> end table –\> “futon nightstand” (too short for a full-sized bed). Did the legs get shorter with each iteration, too? 😃 (“Crooked?!? Dammit - shorten this leg a big. Still crooked!!! Oh, it’s \*this \*leg that’s too long now. Ok, that should be - dammit, why are you still wobbling? …” later, rinse, repeat, until you’re sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of [this](http://www.teamhomemissions.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Dark-Low-Japanese-Dining-Furniture.jpg).) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-forth-with-your-march-minirants/713928.md?page=8)