# March Minirant Madness **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 1, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063 "2011-03-01T15:03:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/461 "2011-03-23T03:23:37Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > I’m in northern NJ right near NYC. > > After visiting Canada many times, I think the place is quite is a wonderful country filled with terrific people. Unfortunately the climate in many parts of it is far too snowy for my tastes. And I live in one of the _least_ snowy areas. It does get cold here, though (but we have chinooks!). ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/462 "2011-03-23T03:24:43Z")
> [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > I have tried and failed at having a father who communicates rationally and reasonably. My mother has failed at having a husband with the same characteristics. But my dad is a good guy, generous, hard working, and actually loves us he is just misguided, pissy and has a short temper and irrational prejudices. And rational ones, like smoking. > > Once upon a time I made a crusade out of calling him on stuff. I think I called him the dictator of the dinner table once. Then the day after I had a blow out with him about bringing him a cake on his birthday (him do whatever you want… Me.. well would you like one? I said do whatever the fuck you want! ) he had a pretty major angina attack and ended up having a quadruple bypass. > > I know he has had coronary artery disease for over 20 years, but I know if he had the fatal heart atatack that day I would have never forgiven myself. He has his faults but he is too good to lose. I take it, but I own that I take it. (And rant about it here) Instead of having regular blow outs with him I have had one huge fight in 4 years and I am pretty pissed at myself about that one. (I was right, but fighting with him is always wrong now.) > > I don’t like it. But it is better than the alternative, and I love my parents and family too much to rock the boat anymore. It’s not about me, it IS about how I handle it. I sympathize utterly with everything you have said. I had the fortune that my father was the proverbial healthy horse until about a week before he died, by which time we had had an acceptable MO for several years: he didn’t give me shit, I treated him with respect and some affection. I don’t know if I could have been as tough if he were in as delicate a condition as your father. For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing fine. Roddy ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/463 "2011-03-23T10:13:08Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > I’m in northern NJ right near NYC. You’re in the two zone, I’m in the four zone. Ayep. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/464 "2011-03-23T10:34:07Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > I sympathize utterly with everything you have said. I had the fortune that my father was the proverbial healthy horse until about a week before he died, by which time we had had an acceptable MO for several years: he didn’t give me shit, I treated him with respect and some affection. > > I don’t know if I could have been as tough if he were in as delicate a condition as your father. For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing fine. > Roddy Also, I am way more like my dad than I care to admit. He and his mother fought, I fought with him, but the cycle stops here. My son has my temper and sensibility so the best thing I can do is learn to deal with things better, before my son turns into a teenager, calls me a dictator of the dinner table and a short fused pissy prejudiced person and so forth. I don’t want him to be feeling like shit at 40 because of my overwhelming negative reactions to things he phones me to chat about. My mom and brother just shake their heads. Neither of them get caught up in the drama like I do. Which, I guess is why my parents are still married, but my brother lives on the other side of the country and my mom tunes out a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/465 "2011-03-23T10:47:18Z")
A totally different rant. Dear Uterus. I am perfectly aware you exist. Just do your thing and don’t involve my back, my bowels, my skin, or headaches in your 24 day quick-march through your paces. Especially the “Mona Lisa doesnt get to sleep” business. I would like to do my thing but this sleeplessness interferes with everything, even doing things that make YOU happy. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/466 "2011-03-23T14:24:29Z")
Good god people it’s been less than a month since the last snow storm have you REALLY completely forgotten how to drive in snow? I give you a little slack when it’s the first snowfall of the season because after 6-7 months I can see how it would take a little practice to get back in driving shape but it’s been 3.5 weeks. If your memory is that short perhaps you should be seeking assistance and get the fuck out from behind the wheel of your car. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/467 "2011-03-23T14:32:36Z")
I’m probably gonna get called out and schooled on my ignorance, but goddamn these fucking stooooopid \ tags. They’re fucked up and they make the formatting unpredictable, but predictably at least usually bad instead of good. \ dammit! \*\*\!!! \*\* _shakes fist at sky_ ( **Mona** , I’m about to get a lot more sypathetic to your plight. Gimme a day or two. Will come back with girlyparts-related pitting.) ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/468 "2011-03-23T14:49:59Z")
Damn you, phony hope-dangler! You said you were a recruiter and were interested in my resume for my experience. And then you finally admit it: You’re A Primerica/Amway Vampire!!! :eek: :mad: _Back, back, unclean foulness!!!_ ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/469 "2011-03-23T16:01:53Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > Good god people it’s been less than a month since the last snow storm have you REALLY completely forgotten how to drive in snow? I give you a little slack when it’s the first snowfall of the season because after 6-7 months I can see how it would take a little practice to get back in driving shape but it’s been 3.5 weeks. If your memory is that short perhaps you should be seeking assistance and get the fuck out from behind the wheel of your car. They cancelled busses in our school district and school in most others here. For a storm that wouldn’t even have been a blip on the radar a few weeks ago. Give me a break! Wimps. The best part about drivers forgetting how to drive in the snow is that a couple of weeks from now, we get to deal with them forgetting how to drive in the rain. The world would be a better place without all the darned people! ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/470 "2011-03-23T16:02:36Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > Naturally, no one believes me about the head injury - I must be drunk - but fortunately, the nice officer just let my hubby come get me. Why the fuck didn’t you get hubby to take you to the HOSPITAL? You \*blacked out \*from a head injury–even if you weren’t conscious enough to make the decision then, and your husband was enough of a dick that he didn’t believe you (and potentially put you into danger of death by letting you sleep with a concussion), you should have hauled your ass to the doctor as soon as you realized what had happened. I’m not a doctor, but I suspect that if you had trauma bad enough to black out, getting it checked out even a couple of days late is better than nothing. > [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > But insulting me doesn’t help anything, it just makes me want to interact with you less. You need to start telling him exactly that. “Dad, I appreciate that you’re concerned. But hearing these insulting things from you just makes me not want to talk to you. So either we can talk about something we both want to discuss, or I’m going to hang up the phone and we can try again tomorrow when you’re calmed down.” And then you follow through if he doesn’t shut his damned mouth about shit that’s none of his business. > [@LavenderBlue](#): > > [Tiger Mom bitch] needs to STFU and go away. […] The anti-abortionists can all drop dead. Wait, I’m confused. Do you think she’s an anti-abortion person? Because AFAIK her whole schtick is just about how to raise your kids once you have them, not about whether or not you should have them in the first place. > [@Chimera](#): > > Goddamned stupid fat fuckers who slowly stagger drunkenly down a 6’ wide aisle at work, repeatedly pausing and looking at the people behind them whom their actions are preventing from moving past them. These are appropriately dealt with by picking a side, saying, “Excuse me,” and then pushing your way past as gently as possible but as firmly as necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/471 "2011-03-23T20:08:44Z")
Dear Mom, It’s nice that you want us all to go out to dinner for my brother and his wife’s birthdays, but maybe you could consider what \*they \*enjoy eating. I know it’s Lent and you and your parents are Catholic, but none of the rest of us are and bro and sis-in-law _hate fish_, so maybe for once we could go to a restaurant \*they \*like that would have good vegetarian and/or fish options, instead of going to a \*fish fry \*because it’s what Grandma and Grandpa would choose. Love, Your daugher who sometimes wonders how you can be so smart and considerate and yet so stupid and selfish ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/472 "2011-03-23T20:18:39Z")
It’s an aisle. It is made wide enough that two carts can pass each other going opposite directions. It is made wide enough that one cart can pass another going the same direction. Unless, or course, _ **you park the damn thing smack-dab in the middle** _!!! ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/473 "2011-03-23T20:42:02Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > You need to start telling him exactly that. > > “Dad, I appreciate that you’re concerned. But hearing these insulting things from you just makes me not want to talk to you. So either we can talk about something we both want to discuss, or I’m going to hang up the phone and we can try again tomorrow when you’re calmed down.” > > And then you follow through if he doesn’t shut his damned mouth about shit that’s none of his business… I’ve shared this before, but someone taught me an excellent script. (It’s very useful to know what you’re going to say before you need to say it.) Repeat as needed: _“If we can’t have a pleasant conversation, then we’re not going to have one at all. I’m going to hang up now - have a good morning/afternoon/evening!”_ All at once, smoothly, with no beat for them to interject. Equal parts polite and firm. (Please tell me **Lacuna** hasn’t been back in here yet because she’s currently going “ahhh” and having a flashlight shone in her eye…) ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/474 "2011-03-23T21:57:17Z")
Hey, y’all, what’s more fucked up: the fact that the package of sliced turkey I bought includes instructions for how to make a basic sandwich? Or the fact that they’re wrong? 1. Place turkey on one slice of bread, then spread mustard on the turkey. 2. Add cheese, tomato and lettuce. 3. Spread on the rest of the mustard and place on the top piece of bread. WTF? Who spreads the mustard onto the lettuce? (People who need instructions on how to make a sandwich, I guess.) I weep for all humanity. . . ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/475 "2011-03-23T23:12:52Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > These are appropriately dealt with by picking a side, saying, “Excuse me,” and then pushing your way past as gently as possible but as firmly as necessary. Which unfortunately all too often results in; “What?” (stupid grin, continues same behavior) And then if you touch them to push past, a complaint to your supervisor about how you assaulted them, or “shoved” them or some such nonsense. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/476 "2011-03-24T00:24:08Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > (Please tell me **Lacuna** hasn’t been back in here yet because she’s currently going “ahhh” and having a flashlight shone in her eye…) Quick check from a doctor/friend: Yes, it’s a concussion, but I’ve been treating it properly - take it easy, avoid driving for a couple of days, OTC meds for headache. (BTW, **ShotfromGuns** , hubby wasn’t that big an asshole Sunday night - he did check my pupils, and stay up all night making sure I was okay. He still thought I was drunk, but he didn’t just abandon me. And he’s really pitiful right now - truly, he almost cried when he came home from work yesterday and saw my bruises!) Now, my mini-rant is that I have no clue how to get through work this week. Doctor/friend agrees that I have the most amazing black eyes he’s ever seen - the bruise that started in my hairline, from temple to the middle of my head, has drifted south. My face is bruised almost to the corner of my lip now, and I suspect it will have reached my jawline by morning. I don’t think I own nearly enough concealer! ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/477 "2011-03-24T01:22:02Z")
I am sick to death of hearing the following platitudes: “There is a reason for everything.” “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” “You can be anything you want to be.” That’s all. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/478 "2011-03-24T01:40:07Z")
> [@perfectparanoia](#): > > \ > The world would be a better place without all the darned people! Unfortunately, I was one of them today - I probably shouldn’t have been driving, I was in such a bad mood. ☹ > [@spooje](#): > > It’s an aisle. It is made wide enough that two carts can pass each other going opposite directions. It is made wide enough that one cart can pass another going the same direction. > > Unless, or course, _ **you park the damn thing smack-dab in the middle** _!!! Those people will be one of the first groups up against the wall when I’m Head Dictator of the World. Open your eyes and look around you, people - there are other people in the world, and they’re trying to shop and get around, too (and sometimes they’re really cranky, and you should just try to get out of their way so they DON’T FUCKING RUN YOU OVER!). > [@vivalostwages](#): > > \ > “You can be anything you want to be.” > > That’s all. That’s a truly stupid thing to say - everyone can’t be anything they want to be. There are any number of realistic limitations on everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/479 "2011-03-24T01:45:42Z")
I think we need to go back to those silly elementary school training videos of the days of yore and make more of them in order to train people how to live in the world. _Inobservant Ilene_ _Don’t block the aisle!_ _Courtesy and Crowds_ ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/480 "2011-03-24T01:53:24Z")
“Facebook login” "Sorry, currently our video library can only be streamed from within the United States " “This video is not available in your country” Links suck nowadays :mad:. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063.md?page=25)