# March Minirant Madness **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 1, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063 "2011-03-01T15:03:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 28
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/541 "2011-03-30T16:43:13Z")
Ugh. I got a phone call something like that except in this case, it wasn’t a case of accidental butt-dialing or not noticing the phone had picked up, though she apparently did forget exactly how this whole message thing worked. I checked my voicemail and it was a call from a woman saying she wanted to be in a research study, then attempted to give a phone number. Meanwhile I heard a man in the background attempt to tell her a phone number while she was saying the area code, and she broke off telling me her number to argue with him about how he’d confused her and blah blah, and… yeah, she never got back to paying attention to the phone and giving the rest of the number. Great, yeah, I hope you’re not waiting on a callback - the voicemail system just reported it as being from an outside line, and I’m really not sure I’d want you in one of our studies if you can’t even figure out how leaving a message works. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/542 "2011-03-30T20:05:54Z")
I hate being sick at the same time I have my period. I have a bad cold and now I’m doubly miserable. It’s funny how you take breathing through both nostrils for granted. It could be worse, though. I once got e.coli poisoning on the day I started my period. The pain in my uterus + the pain in my intestines + blood from every orifice below the waist + running to the bathroom literally every two minutes = three days of hell on earth. ---
**Author:** ![TheTerribleTako](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@TheTerribleTako](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheTerribleTako)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/543 "2011-03-30T20:51:41Z")
I’m starting to hate spring. The birds are all coming back and now every morning, there’s these little chirpy birdies that sound exactly like a morning alarm clock. Beep beep. Beep beep. On and on. Argh, I just want another hour of sleep! My neighbor keeps telling me about how nice it is that all the flowers are starting to bloom and you can see the buds come up from the ground. Well, I had these pretty yellow flowers growing in my backyard and I was really looking forward to them blooming and then these fat, voracious squirrels that live in the backyard proceeded to eat every single last bud. Plus, spring means allergies. I’ve been having weird sinus pressure for the last week and a half and my poor SO has been sniffling all week. Oh, and Oregon requires a prescription for Claritin-D, the only drug that works well for him. So, thanks for that too, meth-heads! Spring also means that the ants are out of hibernation and have decided the our nice cozy kitchen would be a great place to scavenge and the incoming hordes have been pouring out of the electrical outlet. I set out some borax bait yesterday and today I accidentally walked through a pile of dead ants when I tried to get to the sink. I hate spring. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/544 "2011-03-30T21:31:46Z")
I really, really really don’t want to go to the gym today. It’s rainy and cold and sucky outside. I might just go to Dunkin’ Donuts in my gym clothes. ETA: Tako, what’s this spring you speak of? Also, it’s not raining it’s…snowing :smack::smack::smack: ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/545 "2011-03-30T21:48:13Z")
> [@TheTerribleTako](#): > > …My neighbor keeps telling me about how nice it is that all the flowers are starting to bloom and you can see the buds come up from the ground. Well, I had these pretty yellow flowers growing in my backyard and I was really looking forward to them blooming and then these fat, voracious squirrels that live in the backyard proceeded to eat every single last bud… Next time, dust the plants fairly heavily with cayenne powder or finely ground black pepper. You’ll have to replace it after rainfall or irrigation, but it helps tremendously - though it won’t help your sneezing! 🙂 Ideally, since they’re eating buds, spray the plants down with water and then sprinkle the pepper - it will stick to the damp leaves and buds. (Pepper on soil keeps squirrels from digging/burying, too.) ---
**Author:** ![TheTerribleTako](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@TheTerribleTako](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheTerribleTako)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/546 "2011-03-30T22:03:33Z")
Snow sounds lovely right about now. Thanks for the tip, **purplehorseshoe**! I’ll keep that in mind if I see anything else growing in the yard. It’s probably too late for this year though, I think the squirrels might have mowed it to the ground. Found another ladybug in the laundry room. This is the 30th ladybug that I found in the 2nd floor room. I escorted it outside. This is more perplexing than annoying though. How are they getting in? It’s a tiny little room where the windows have been closed all winter. Bizarre. I really miss city living. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2011, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/547 "2011-03-31T06:18:40Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > We’re out of water (again). Background: we have one of those old-school water dispensers with the big blue plastic container on top, that burbles when you draw some water. (See also: opening credits of “The Office.”) For some reason, the delivery schedule does not line up with how fast we drink to stay hydrated no matter what our office manager does. > > Anyway, Co-Worker bellies up to the dispenser, coffee mug in hand, taps the empty bottle, makes a sad face. I pass her on my way to the break room kitchen: > > Co-Worker: Awww. We’re out of water. ☹ > Me: Tap water it is, then! 🙂 > Co-Worker: (follows me into the kitchen, starts running the tap) I can never get it hot enough out of the sink … ☹ > Me: (Looks at her, looks at the sink, looks at _the microwave directly in front of her_…) :rolleyes: How do people like this even manage to get dressed and out of the house each day? Seriously, how? How do they manage to find a job? How do they manage to KEEP a job that doesn’t involve putting five screws in the same five places before the next unit comes down the assembly line? It’s like some people can only manage to perform rote responses. I mean, I go on autopilot myself in some circumstances, but when my actions are not producing the desired results, I change my actions. I mean, when we moved, and my microwave was at the old house, I started using an ordinary pan to heat water for my tea. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2011, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/548 "2011-03-31T08:27:09Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > How do people like this even manage to get dressed and out of the house each day? Seriously, how? I don’t know. My job on (thankfully very rare occasion) requires helping people fill out a rather simple on-line form to create an account, or to make changes to it. When I did it, it took me all of about 3 minutes. However, about once every three months, including yesterday, I end up helping some total dillrod who claims to be intelligent or high status who cannot manage to do it to save their lives. The guy yesterday claimed to be the owner of his own company. It’s not rocket science. It is very basic information. I can’t do it for you, or at least I’m not allowed to do it for them. It involves only like 10 total fields and choices to be made. Yet like yesterday, the moron keeps messing up the fields, not filling them in, trying to do something wrong over and over and over and over despite me repeatedly telling him “NO DO NOT DO THAT”, then bitterly complaining that the whole process is too complicated and that my company obviously doesn’t want his business if we have to make it this hard. Thirty minutes and then he got angry and hung up on me because he couldn’t manage to do it. Look Moron, doing this is literally as simple as filling out an on-line application or a “who am I” form, because that’s pretty much _ **all it is** _. If you cannot do this, then how the fuck do you get through your daily life? Does your mommy fill out complicated forms like this for you? Man, I hope that you have someone else running that business of yours, because you are too much of a dumbass to be allowed to live on your own. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2011, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/549 "2011-03-31T12:14:59Z")
Those people in the lab up the hall from me who make so much noise are apparently playing that Youtube video of the talking baby twins over and over while having a bachelorette party. They aren’t actually having a party, that’s just what it sounds like. I’d like to give those bitches something to shriek about… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2011, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/550 "2011-03-31T12:56:40Z")
This is mini as hell, but it bugs me all the same - some jackhole keeps dropping their empty coffee cup in the back alley right by my garage. This bugs me on two levels: one, the littering, and two, he/she/it drops the coffee cup about 15 feet away from a garbage can. I so badly want to post a note on my neighbour’s fence: “Dear Asshole Coffee Drinker: See that grey bin 15 feet away? Would you mind USING IT?” Some people truly do suck. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2011, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/551 "2011-03-31T13:49:04Z")
I think I’ve finally caught the bug my dear grand-niece has given everyone else in the family. I’m stuffed up, throat hurts, my stomach is rancid. Instead of having something somewhat healthy for breakfast, something that would soothe my tummy… I had jellybeans. I am a moron. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2011, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/552 "2011-03-31T14:52:57Z")
My drive in to work this morning: 3-lane road that will narrow to 2 lanes about a quarter-mile ahead (right lane becomes turn-only). Left lane: Jeep that canNOT stay in its lane - right wheels constantly hovering on or over the line. (Undercaffeinated? Cell phone? Distracted? Drunk before 9 am? Who knows!) Right lane: old-person car doing ten under. Me: middle lane, weighing my options while impatient traffic starts to stack up and ride my bumper. Should I hold, and risk getting rear-ended by the big ol’ pickup behind me? Pass, and risk DumbJeep losing his lane again? Pass, and risk the old guy in the white Buick-type car suddenly realizing his lane ends rightfucking_now_? All is well, and I sit safely at my desk Doping while working, but that was a harrowing few moments there. (Then, three blocks up, the car in front of me very nearly rear-ended the car in front of him, and all I could think was, “Aww, man, don’t make me hafta go _around_ you!”) ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2011, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/553 "2011-03-31T14:56:23Z")
I’m in a day long meeting on a different floor than usual and we’re at the tail end of our first break. I’d just like to say that I’m pretty sure that there are no 3yr olds on this floor however you couldn’t tell that from the condition of the bathroom. Seriously people the cleaners go through twice during the day and again at night, there is no excuse for this disgusting mess. Dribbles on seats, unflushed toilets, paper everywhere on the floor, seats, counters. Grow the fuck up. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2011, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/554 "2011-03-31T18:54:12Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Me: middle lane, weighing my options while impatient traffic starts to stack up and ride my bumper. Should I hold, and risk getting rear-ended by the big ol’ pickup behind me? Pass, and risk DumbJeep losing his lane again? Pass, and risk the old guy in the white Buick-type car suddenly realizing his lane ends rightfucking_now_? It’s not very often that I’m a passenger in the car for longer than a 10 minute drive. Last weekend we did a 10 hour roadtrip during which I was largely the passenger. I can’t read in the car so I’d people watch. You’d think that maybe the eating while smoking and talking on a cell phone while applying makeup crowd would _give it up_ on the interstate but nooooooooo. The kind of distracted driving I saw made me genuinely afraid. I’d periodically say to the SO “Red minivan’s applying makeup and eating” or “yellow Beetle is shouting at his passenger”. They would do what the Jeep did, slightly hover in your late and then correct (and often over-correct) quickly, only to go back to what they were doing. The thought alone still makes me shudder. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/555 "2011-03-31T19:25:28Z")
Either I have allergies or I have pinkeye. I think it’s the former, hope it’s the former. Regardless, it’s driving me fucking nuts. And I’m irritated because the government just came out with a new proposed rulemaking that’s more than 400 pages long, and I have to read it by Monday. Shit. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2011, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/556 "2011-03-31T19:48:14Z")
Unless it’s super crusty and you feel like there’s sand in your eye, it’s not pink eye. At least that’s what I was told last month by my doc. I went in for what I was _certain_ was pink eye. It turned out to be a small corneal abrasion I’d given myself in my sleep. That turned my eye pink. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/557 "2011-03-31T19:55:59Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > Unless it’s super crusty and you feel like there’s sand in your eye, it’s not pink eye. At least that’s what I was told last month by my doc. > > I went in for what I was _certain_ was pink eye. It turned out to be a small corneal abrasion I’d given myself in my sleep. That turned my eye pink. :smack: Thanks - that’s good to know. I had decided to take a wait & see approach. Both of my kids have had pink eye before (last time was a year ago) and I didn’t see any ooze, so I wasn’t too worried. It’s irritating as hell, though. Coincidentally, I seem to be falling apart lately. Is this what happens when you start getting older? I feel like a car whose doors are falling off. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2011, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/558 "2011-03-31T22:02:08Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Ugh. I got a phone call something like that except in this case, it wasn’t a case of accidental butt-dialing or not noticing the phone had picked up, though she apparently did forget exactly how this whole message thing worked. > > I checked my voicemail and it was a call from a woman saying she wanted to be in a research study, then attempted to give a phone number. Meanwhile I heard a man in the background attempt to tell her a phone number while she was saying the area code, and she broke off telling me her number to argue with him about how he’d confused her and blah blah, and… yeah, she never got back to paying attention to the phone and giving the rest of the number. Great, yeah, I hope you’re not waiting on a callback - the voicemail system just reported it as being from an outside line, and I’m really not sure I’d want you in one of our studies if you can’t even figure out how leaving a message works. Don’t you love the easily distracted? I had some woman break off making a reservation this morning in between giving me the credit card number and the expiration date because she suddenly rememberd 500,000 more questions she wanted to ask. Lady, figure out your questions beforehand, _write them down_, get the answers, and then make the reservation. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2011, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/559 "2011-03-31T23:58:57Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > \ > > Coincidentally, I seem to be falling apart lately. Is this what happens when you start getting older? I feel like a car whose doors are falling off. Yes. And it just gets worse as you get older and you start accumulating chronic conditions. On the plus side, your brain goes, too, and you forget to worry about them. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![mkecane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@mkecane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mkecane)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2011, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/560 "2011-04-01T01:30:53Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > And I’m irritated because the government just came out with a new proposed rulemaking that’s more than 400 pages long, and I have to read it by Monday. Shit. There’s something a bit amusing about **overlyverbose** being irritated by a 400-page long rulemaking. I don’t know how long something like that typically would be, but I’m glad I’m not the one to read it. It’s Opening Day! Woo, baseball’s back! Except it’s just 12 teams. And it’s Thursday. And it’s still March. Only Bud Selig could find a way to make Opening Day a complete non-event. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063.md?page=27) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063.md?page=29)