# March Minirant Madness **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 1, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063 "2011-03-01T15:03:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![mkecane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@mkecane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mkecane)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/61 "2011-03-02T03:22:59Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I always drive my silver Corolla with my lights on because it makes my invisible car marginally more visible to all the behemoths that want to drive over it. I have the same car, same color, and do the same thing. The world should thank us. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/62 "2011-03-02T04:14:14Z")
> [@Lionne](#): > > Fuck my cousin. Grow up. Is this a to-do list? 😃 I have a chicken-and-egg rant this time: I need to buy a good microphone so I can record voice-over work here at home. But I can’t afford to buy a good microphone until I get some work. But I can’t get work without a good microphone. Repeat. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/63 "2011-03-02T04:17:06Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > Office management company. How did you manage to find a dishware set that has bowls that are just 2 ml too small to hold a can of soup? > > NOBODY eats breakfast in this office. Some people bring in salads but those are usually in lunch containers. > > So what the hell are we supposed to do with bowls that are too friggin small to hold a can of soup? … I can wear it as a hat, makes a great paperweight…etc > > But if I want a bowl of soup I have to perform a circus act taking a brimming hot bowl out of the microwave. > > FACISTS! Boy, this is a first-world problem. If you’re making the kind of canned soup where you add a can of water, just add 3/4 of a can. Not only will it fit in the bowl, the soup will be richer. You could also bring in your own bowl, or split it between two bowls. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/64 "2011-03-02T04:26:59Z")
> [@mkecane](#): > > I have the same car, same color, and do the same thing. The world should thank us. They totally should, instead of trying to kill us all the time. I’ve thought about adding reflective strips to outline my car like a semi. I also want a massively overpowered horn for all the people who cut me off because it’s just a tiny Corolla - it doesn’t have any right-of-way (in their opinions)! ---
**Author:** ![Sodalite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@Sodalite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sodalite)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/65 "2011-03-02T04:42:13Z")
Fuck you Google. I don’t want a Google account or a Gmail account and now you tell me I have to have one to use my Youtube account? Like I don’t have enough shit to keep track of in a day. You suck. Oh, and [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com)? Fuck you, too. Will you just take Paypal already? Yeah, yeah, first world problems, shut up. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/66 "2011-03-02T06:06:13Z")
To the owners of a particular house I drove past today: It’s March now. Take down your Christmas decorations. Seriously. Santa and those reindeer are looking a bit bedraggled there. I suppose you might argue that there’s too much snow right now and sure, maybe they’re frozen in place, but really, we barely got any snow this year until February. And ten days ago we had three days in a row that hit 50. What have you been doing for two months? Does everyone in your household have two broken legs and a bad back? Shoulda taken your thumb out of your butt and brought them in before now, because now anonymous people are mocking you on the internet. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/67 "2011-03-02T12:59:40Z")
Kittens, I thought it was cute that you chirruped rather than meowed. However, it seems you two have gotten your meow chips installed. At 2 am. Along with a new spate of the crazies. Yes, I will be calling this morning to get you in to be spayed. I have no money to do so, but if it will allow me to sleep all night? _yawn_ ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/68 "2011-03-02T13:23:37Z")
> [@](#): > > I was in my mid-thirties before I realized that my mom couldn’t stop ragging me about my weight because she was unhappy with her own weight. As a child and teen, I was slender. When I started developing a woman’s body, I had big tits and hips and butt, but I wasn’t overweight, that was just my body type. I had no excess fat on me, and I was very well-toned. However, my mother had a weight problem, so the whole damned family had to eat Weight Watchers this and diet that, even us kids who could have actually USED regular food. But then if she made something that she particularly liked as a treat for herself, we all had to eat it so SHE wouldn’t have to acknowledge that she’d made it for herself. Even though, you know, nobody else liked it. And my sibs and I were always forced to eat stuff that friends or relatives had made, even if we hated it. If we didn’t, the relatives would get bent out of shape (the friends were generally more willing to acknowledge that even kids have food preferences) and we’d get in trouble when we got home. This behavior continued well into my adulthood, when I’d go home for a visit. I finally told her that I had NEVER liked this or that particular dish, and that I was quite old enough to decide to not eat stuff that I don’t like, especially stuff that irritates my gut. She was outraged, and there was a whole lot of drama. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/69 "2011-03-02T13:48:40Z")
Yeah, I know that my mother ragged on me (and is now ragging on her unborn granddaughter) because of her OWN problems. I also think that people of a certain age, who grew up when people were thinner–even undernourished in many cases–are shocked by how “big” people are today. They should keep it to themselves, but they often don’t. I think my self-esteem is better than my mother’s. What I DID inherit from her is an unnatural preoccupation with food. We’re really, really, really interested in food. I know that we are, though. I think she might not. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/70 "2011-03-02T14:46:26Z")
My condolences about your grandmother’s death, **DiosaBellissima**. And belated happy birthday to you, **Indygrrl**. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/71 "2011-03-02T14:59:15Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > Hey, you people who take Yoga. I support your right to spend an hour laying on a mat, in the dark. You can even call it exercise if you want, not my business. But .. could one of you at least set an alarm clock so that one of you could wake up … err , I mean stop exercising … so you don’t go 10 minutes into the next class? \ In one case where we finally sent someone in to mention that there was a class waiting he got a stern lecture about respecting others. Nice. Learn to tell time. You probably know this already, but the “lying on your back in the dark” pose is a cool-down, meditation pose after what can be a pretty intense work out. However, it’s pretty central to yoga practice and any teacher who doesn’t factor it into the overall length of the class is a huge dick. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/72 "2011-03-02T15:03:53Z")
[http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2011-03-02-1Abible02\_ST\_N.htm](http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2011-03-02-1Abible02_ST_N.htm) Yep, there is going to be no more booty in at least one version of the bible. Kind of sad… _“Therefore their goods shall become a booty, and their houses a desolation: they shall also build houses, but not inhabit them; and they shall plant vineyards, but not drink the wine thereof.” I’ve always felt a guy could never have enough booty in his life, and the thought of a your goods turning into booty!_ I thought they would have booted that “kicking against the pricks” first. But then, they lost me when they said I couldn’t _covet my neighbors wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass_, … Seemed silly to have to drive to the next town to covet someone’s ass. No booty, no ass, and no wine. But I’m saved and I can still kick pricks. ---
**Author:** ![mkecane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@mkecane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mkecane)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/73 "2011-03-02T15:34:43Z")
Fuck the coverage of the non-story of Charlie Sheen’s meltdown. I’ve never watched Two and a Half Men and don’t recall the last movie of his that I watched, but I have little against him and doing drugs or screwing prostitutes. But please stop covering it on the local news, throwing blurbs all over Google News, and interrupting shows like Detroit 187 for a “special” broadcast of 20/20. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/74 "2011-03-02T15:43:21Z")
Preach it, **mkecane**. I’ve never seen a vehicle that he was in, and AFAIK, he’s just Emilio Estevez’s less-talented younger brother. I’m kinda tired of hearing about him. But it might be fun to have Christine Amanpour interview him and report on whether he’s more, or less delusional than Ghaddafi. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/75 "2011-03-02T16:15:41Z")
> [@MissTake](#): > > Kittens, I thought it was cute that you chirruped rather than meowed. However, it seems you two have gotten your meow chips installed. At 2 am. Along with a new spate of the crazies. Yes, I will be calling this morning to get you in to be spayed. I have no money to do so, but if it will allow me to sleep all night? > _yawn_ How does getting a kitten spayed stop it from meowing? They’re kittens, like, have not reached sexual maturity yet, right? ---
**Author:** ![Grapefruit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@Grapefruit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grapefruit)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/76 "2011-03-02T16:57:48Z")
A piece of my tooth fell out. ARGH! It doesn’t hurt and I don’t think it’s affecting the root, but I’m annoyed because it’s on the front of my teeth and I keep running my tongue over it. My dentist is always crazy busy so I don’t even know if she’ll have time to see it this week. And my fortune cookie last night said “Luck is with you this month”. Stupid lying fortune cookie!!! ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/77 "2011-03-02T17:12:28Z")
> [@Sodalite](#): > > I don’t want a Google account or a Gmail account and now you tell me I have to have one to use my Youtube account? That sounds really weird to me. Are you sure they just aren’t trying to get you to link your YouTube account with a Google account? ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/78 "2011-03-02T17:14:53Z")
> [@EmAnJ](#): > > How does getting a kitten spayed stop it from meowing? They’re kittens, like, have not reached sexual maturity yet, right? They’re 6 1/2 months - so teenagers. Neither know what to do with themselves. They’ve been wandering the house, mewling, chirpping, howling. They’ll lay down for maybe an hour, and then they’re up and at it for an hour. Poor Dot is almost hoarse. If they were just being talkative, no big deal. One of our last cats, Bernie, was very talkative. This is “I’ma a horny kitteh” thing. Cost of getting two furballs spayed? Almost as much as a mortgage payment. I earn 2K too much per year to qualify for assistance (Not bitching about earning too much, I’m glad I earn what I do and I am glad there is assistance out there to help!). ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/79 "2011-03-02T17:46:52Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > That sounds really weird to me. Are you sure they just aren’t trying to get you to link your YouTube account with a Google account? It’s mandatory now, I got the same message this week. To log into my existing YouTube account, I must create a Google account and link it. They’re phasing out YouTube-only accounts; any new YouTube accounts are also Google accounts (as I understand it.) Haven’t done it yet; I simply logged all the way out of YouTube and am browsing as a guest, and while I can watch videos I can’t access my favorites or comment until I create a Google account and log back in. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063/80 "2011-03-02T17:51:38Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Remember when we went through this before and everyone agreed that you (or whoever else was bitching) were a little whiner? I hadn’t seen that thread. > [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > ETA: What’s especially hilarious is that since he has me blocked, he’s also clueless that not a single post in this thread has been anything negative about what another poster has said, so his sandyvagness is even more off-base than usual. You’re right, if I’m going to bitch, I should have the courtesy to read the reply. Please note that I didn’t say anything about you being negative (maybe you’re thinking about the pit thread?). I said you treated the mini-rants threads like your own Dear Abby column. Which likely stems from the fact that you remind me of a co-worker I used to have. You literally couldn’t start a conversation or say anything within range of her, or she’d pop up and tell you exactly what she thought. Every. Damn. Time. If we needed to talk to any workers near her, we’d email them and tell them to come to us. She’d even do it in groups. Person A would say something, Dear Abby would reply. Person B would reply to Person A, Dear Abby would reply to Person B. Every other sentence was her input. Eventually, it didn’t matter if she did have something of value to contribute. Nobody wanted to talk to her. For all I know, you’re a delightful person, but I’ve made that mental connection to Dear Abby (that’s what we called her), and now it’s stuck. I installed FfVb because I really enjoy reading the mini-rants thread sans noise. At any rate, according to the pit thread I’m in the vast minority, so feel free to give this all the weight you’d give to any other anonymous asshole on a message board. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-minirant-madness/573063.md?page=5)