# March Nemesis (Monthly Mini-Rants) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Tags:** monthly-mini-rant\ **Created:** [March 1, 2026, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100 "2026-03-01T05:47:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Ellecram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellecram/32/18948_2.png) [@Ellecram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellecram)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/241 "2026-03-27T15:57:37Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Why the fuck does every goddamn thing you buy have a phone app which, if you don’t install it, you can’t operate/control anything? I bought a grow light system so I could plant some herbs in the house. It’s got a full spectrum light and a few other controls on it that are easy to use, but if you want to set a timer for the light, you have to install the fucking app on your phone! After trying to do so a couple of times, and fat-fingering the goddamn entry of our email both times, I gave up. Which brings me to another complaint: why the fuck do they need my email and why do I need a password? _It’s a fucking grow light, not Fort Knox!_ It’s not like a scammer is going to say “Oh look, we can interfere with this guy’s light cycle! You’ll never see your basil again! Ah-hahahahahahahaaaaa!” I refuse to buy anything that forces me to use an app to operate. I might be limiting myself but i do not need the frustration. ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/242 "2026-03-27T16:20:33Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Listen. My dog pees where he pees. I respect all the ‘No Pee/No Poop Zone’ signs on people’s lawns, but moderating my dogs bowel movements for sake of the neighborhood is too fucking Stepford for me. So, what does ‘curb your dog’ mean to you? The curb is that cement border between lawn and street. That’s where you need to control your dog to pee/poo. Your dog poops and pees where he pleases? My mace cannister goes off where it pleases and that may mean straight into your dogs eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/243 "2026-03-27T16:29:05Z")
Mace my dog and see what fucking happens. I don’t care whose lawn we’re on. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/244 "2026-03-27T16:35:49Z")
> [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](#): > > My mace cannister goes off where it pleases and that may mean straight into your dogs eyes. Yikes: it’s not the dog’s fault. Animal cruelty is not cool. ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/245 "2026-03-27T16:37:04Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Mace my dog and see what fucking happens. I don’t care whose lawn we’re on. Try it. Fun Fact: in my state if you kill as dog ( not even maim it ) it, it’s a $200 fine. Attack a person, it’s hundreds of thousands of dollars fine and 5-8 in jail. You want to try that? Try it. Let’s see if you have enough money left to bury your dog. ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/246 "2026-03-27T16:37:34Z")
I’ve actuality been maced. It is not fun, at all, but it is reasonably easy to deal with, because I am an adult human. (Thanks, over-zealous police officer) To mace a dog is animal abuse. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/247 "2026-03-27T16:38:31Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Mace my dog and see what fucking happens. I’m going to make sure the macer gets some lovely prizes: - A professional photo shoot - two photos, one from the front & one from the side - Jewelry - two bracelets, interconnected > [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](#): > > Attack a person, it’s hundreds of thousands of dollars fine and 5-8 in jail. > > You want to try that? Try it. Let’s see if you have enough money left to bury your dog. Not if it’s self-defense…& I’d sue your _estate_ over the assault, asshole! You’re seriously going to mace a dog for eliminating, before the owner even has a chance to clean it up? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/248 "2026-03-27T16:39:00Z")
You think I’d give a shit? Listen, I’m 60 and I don’t have a lot, but I have my dog. He is everything to me. If you walked up and even pointed a canister of mace at him, the last thing I’d be thinking about is how uncomfortable my jail cell would be because I wouldn’t care. I’d be on you like ugly on an ape. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/249 "2026-03-27T16:43:28Z")
> [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](#): > > My mace cannister goes off where it pleases and that may mean straight into your dogs eyes. What the fuck is wrong with you, you psycho. I know you are certifiable but this is a lot even from you. Did Colbert pee in your Cheerios this morning? ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/250 "2026-03-27T16:44:26Z")
A dog has no right to self defense ( and intentionally pulling a dog to eliminate on a lawn is a crime ). The law is on my side. ( What prison did you get your law degree at anyway? ) ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/251 "2026-03-27T16:47:49Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > You think I’d give a shit? Listen, I’m 60 and I don’t have a lot, but I have my dog. He is everything to me. If you walked up and even pointed a canister of mace at him, the last thing I’d be thinking about is how uncomfortable my jail cell would be because I wouldn’t care. I’d be on you like ugly on an ape. You attacking me would probably be the last thing you’d ever do then. Sad. ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/252 "2026-03-27T16:51:17Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > Did Colbert pee in your Cheerios this morning? I thought he was off making more episodes of Star Trek, but whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/253 "2026-03-27T16:52:23Z")
Again. Do you think I give a shit? I stand up for what’s important to me and I’m not talking about my fucking lawn, your materialistic fuckhead. ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/254 "2026-03-27T16:53:24Z")
Then curb/control your dog. Is that too hard? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/255 "2026-03-27T16:53:57Z")
Mind your own fucking business. That’s even easier. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/256 "2026-03-27T16:54:06Z")
Sure gives a new perspective on **MSH** claiming that all his neighbors hate him… Gee I wonder why, you sure seem like such a nice and level-headed and totally not crazy guy. ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/257 "2026-03-27T17:00:42Z")
My property, my business. Your dog, your business. What’s so hard to understand? Make all the internet personal death threats you like. Maybe walk your dog elswhere? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/258 "2026-03-27T17:09:57Z")
You’re the psycho that traipsed in here about macing dogs. I pick up after my dog. I’m responsible. If you’ve got a sign on your lawn saying no dogs, I won’t be an asshole. But my dog shits and pees on grass or dirt. There are no sidewalks here. So people deal with it. Happily, because most people in The Villages (despite being MAGA-adjacent at the least) love their pets. I get the feeling your the type of dick who charge out of your house to yell at me for my dog peeing on the lawn next door. ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/259 "2026-03-27T17:11:04Z")
You’re. Have A Nice Day! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100/260 "2026-03-27T17:11:27Z")
Typo. Eat my ass. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-nemesis-monthly-mini-rants/1028100.md?page=14)