# March tract: Roast in our fucking pit, you brain-dead disgrace to ... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 2, 2012, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508 "2012-03-02T01:26:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/1 "2012-03-02T01:26:52Z")
– THE NAME “JACK” Oh, good grief! Just in case anyone has had the thought that [Jack the Sick](http://monsterwax.tripod.com/chickbio.html) has lost his talent for raw stupidity, [take a gander at his latest printed blurtations.](http://chick.com/reading/tracts/1075/1075_01.asp) Panel 12 B (counting the cover, as per convention): Hey! Guess what?! Scientists aren’t really total atheists after all. At least, not all of them. “Mother Earth” isn’t a metaphor. Gaia and Ixchel are worship-objects for some of them. They have picked the wrong set of fairy tales, not Jack’s, so **BURN IN HELL** , bitches! Oh, and two pages up, panel 10B, OF COURSE the imbecile we love to hate has to bring up huge snowstorms. How original, you drooling mouth-breather! One last thing: Panels 4A to 6B: Once again, Sickie Chickie trots out the old chestnut about the “evil” [RCC](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholic_church) making up an end of the world scenario to manipulate struggling peasants so as to make them even more destitute. * * * It all makes me more than a little bit sick, but at the same time, it’s a veritable feast for reality-defenders. There’s way to much to comment on, so… back to you, folks! _- the other, saner (?) Jack, **True Blue Jack** _ ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/2 "2012-03-02T03:15:55Z")
I love the fact that he felt the need to draw the Venus of Willendorf as the representation of Gaia, but blurred out the naughty bits. Comedy gold!! ---
**Author:** ![charmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/53a042/32.png) [@charmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/charmstr)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/3 "2012-03-02T03:20:56Z")
Um, my dog’s name is Jack, and I love him. (and I also love comic strip style religious tracts in general. Jack Chick is okay, but nothing will ever beat the pamphlets from the Children of God back in the '70s. Prostitutes for Jesus. They even had a song, wholly holy holes. Yikes.) ---
**Author:** ![BrassyPhrase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea666f/32.png) [@BrassyPhrase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrassyPhrase)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/4 "2012-03-02T03:50:16Z")
One of the things I do miss about working for the Unholy Retail Giant is a constant use of public restrooms. Before you say WHAT?? No, public restrooms are nassy, but restrooms at Wallyworld are filled—FILLED with this stuff. And I always need something to read. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lubricious\_Integument](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/82dd89/32.png) [@Lubricious\_Integument](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lubricious_Integument)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/5 "2012-03-02T05:06:30Z")
I would never have even heard of Jack Chick if it weren’t for the Pit. Do you read his stuff hoping to become outraged? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/6 "2012-03-02T13:07:57Z")
Jack needs to stop getting his ideas about medieval monasteries (and his illustrations) from _The Name of the Rose_. And I love the Al Gore “Who Needs You?” finger-pointing. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/7 "2012-03-02T13:22:28Z")
You gotta love the “England still exists - ask any Muslim” line. And Paul Ehrlich is always good for a chuckle, too, for many of the same reasons as Jackie. I would have thought global warming was right up the Chickster’s alley - worldwide apocalypse caused by human greed and selfishness. But thanks for posting this - nothing like a Chick tract to brighten up a weekend. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/8 "2012-03-02T13:53:33Z")
For a moment there, I thought I was the intended roastee… Whew. ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/9 "2012-03-02T14:14:29Z")
Pretty weak effort for the Chickster. No wife beaters. No alcoholics. No dead grandmothers. One and a half out of 4 stars. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/10 "2012-03-02T14:37:37Z")
Needs more “HAW HAW HAW!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/11 "2012-03-02T14:37:53Z")
OMG the vulture checkin’ out the polar bear. The pixellated naughty bits on the goddess figure. Comedy gold. ---
**Author:** ![Staggerlee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/staggerlee/32/3134_2.png) [@Staggerlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Staggerlee)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/12 "2012-03-02T14:58:43Z")
Looks like he imagines the ‘Brilliant [climate] scientists’ as resembling the cast of ‘Young Frakenstein’, in panel 3. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/13 "2012-03-02T15:35:27Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I would have thought global warming was right up the Chickster’s alley - worldwide apocalypse caused by human greed and selfishness. Nope. Seems like you and Jack share the same critical thinking ability when it comes to climate change. Makes you think, huh? Oh, sorry, strike that. ---
**Author:** ![Stately\_Greek\_Automaton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aca169/32.png) [@Stately\_Greek\_Automaton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stately_Greek_Automaton)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/14 "2012-03-02T16:38:37Z")
> [@Staggerlee](#): > > Looks like he imagines the ‘Brilliant [climate] scientists’ as resembling the cast of ‘Young Frakenstein’, in panel 3. Who knew old Jack was a fan of Mel Brooks? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/15 "2012-03-02T16:53:05Z")
> [@Lubricious\_Integument](#): > > I would never have even heard of Jack Chick if it weren’t for the Pit. Do you read his stuff hoping to become outraged? I would’ve just “liked” this post if I could’ve, but I can’t. So I’ll have to settle for quoting it. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/16 "2012-03-02T16:59:58Z")
> [@Lubricious\_Integument](#): > > I would never have even heard of Jack Chick if it weren’t for the Pit. Do you read his stuff hoping to become outraged? Wait, are you suggesting that there’s some **other** possible reason to read it? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/17 "2012-03-02T17:24:53Z")
I actually found a real Chick Tract on the windshield of my car some months back, upon returning from a walk on Crane Beach in Massachusetts. Rather an odd place to be CTracted, I thought, especially since it was a winter beach walk. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/18 "2012-03-02T17:28:01Z")
Awesome return to form after some lackluster efforts. I’m surprised he hasn’t tackled global warming before. I liked the hunchback in the room of brilliant scientists. Also, Ixchel? i can figure out where he got Gaia from, but Ixchel? ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/19 "2012-03-02T18:00:58Z")
> [@Jack Chick](#): > > Jesus created it. **He** controls its climate— **not** mankind. Yay, another sterling example of “conservative eco-mysticism” for [my](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7286496&postcount=16) [collection](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5272130&postcount=32)! So, human activity is capable of creating or significantly contributing to acid rain and dust bowls and ozone layer thinning and species extinctions and smog and maritime dead zones, but it is somehow magically incapable of affecting the composition of the atmosphere. Fascinating. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508/20 "2012-03-02T18:43:07Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I would have thought global warming was right up the Chickster’s alley - worldwide apocalypse caused by human greed and selfishness. Oh, Hell 😉 no, that would leave him unfazed. Worldwide apocalypse comes only from all those people who at this point of the game have no idea who Jesus is believing in Evolution. And being Catholic. And Gay. Gay Catholic Rock-n-Roll-listenting D&D-playing Evolutionary Scientists who have never heard of Jesus or of sin! That’s what brings the apocalypse and even if that’s the most generous unselfish soul to have ever lived, faceless giant Jesus will still stomp him. > [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Also, Ixchel? i can figure out where he got Gaia from, but Ixchel? Well, I guess someone at Chick studios must have taken a holiday trip to Guatemala lately. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/march-tract-roast-in-our-fucking-pit-you-brain-dead-disgrace-to/614508.md?page=2)