# March's Malevolent Maledictions (minirants) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 1, 2016, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599 "2016-03-01T04:22:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/201 "2016-03-31T00:00:05Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Judge Judy disagrees. Varies from state to state. IIRC illegal in New Jersey, which blew my mind cuz I learned to drive in Michigan where pulling up is the default expectation. Incidentally, that particular law is rarely relevant to NJ because 90% of the time you have to use a fucking clover loop to go left, you want to hear a fucking traffic rant??? Ask me about driving in New Jersey! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![russian\_heel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f05b48/32.png) [@russian\_heel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/russian_heel)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/202 "2016-03-31T00:05:26Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Don’t handle telephone calls while you’re driving. > > Thanks very much. I promise not to as soon and you and all my customers agree to not bitch and complain when they can’t get hold of a salesman on their phone. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/203 "2016-03-31T00:18:02Z")
> [@russian\_heel](#): > > I promise not to as soon and you and all my customers agree to not bitch and complain when they can’t get hold of a salesman on their phone. Done on my end. My territory managers are all available via email, and the one I’ve been working with the closest for some 10 years, well, we text. Sometimes at 10pm. She does not use her phone while driving. I, as a client, am harder to get hold of by voice than any other means, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/204 "2016-03-31T02:14:27Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Okay, dipshits: when you stop at a stoplight and are planning to make a left turn, do NOT wait until the light turns green to turn on your turn signal. See, I only pulled up that close to you because you made no indication you were going to turn; otherwise, I would have left myself enough space to go around on your right. I know that the turn signal noise is somewhere around 300dB and is just unbearable for you, but have some fucking road courtesy. Also, you are clearly not aware that the law allows you to pull out into the intersection to wait for traffic to clear. This allows you to do more than just sit through four cycles of light, waiting to make your fucking turn. Ever hear of gridlock? My day has not been a joyful one. Lots of complications on DH’s work on the car’s brakes (this did get completed successfully. Eventually). I have a badly clogged right ear that really hurts (decongestants and nasal spray have been tried). We have no hot water, and DH is in dire need of a shower, especially since he has a job interview tomorrow morning. ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/205 "2016-03-31T05:18:53Z")
> **[William Shatner Hit With $170 Million Paternity Lawsuit](https://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/william-shatner-hit-170-million-paternity-lawsuit/story?id=38027015)** > > "Star Trek" icon William Shatner was hit with a $170 million lawsuit earlier this week from a Florida man claiming to be his son. William Shatner paternity suit. I love the idea of suing someone when you’re 59 years old, claiming that someone is your father. Orly? And if that is true, \*how have you been harmed or wronged by them? \* You’re 59 years old! Somehow you made it this far. Does baby still need child support? “God damn you, father! Why did you have to go and do a terrible thing like allow me to exist? I’ll show \*you \*for providing me with the gift of life.” What a waste of space. I can understand if your parent is abusive something that you’d no longer be thankful toward them for their contribution to your life. That’s where I draw the line. But if you’re an adult, pay your own goddamned bills. Ass. ---
**Author:** ![russian\_heel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f05b48/32.png) [@russian\_heel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/russian_heel)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/206 "2016-03-31T05:51:27Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > Done on my end. > > My territory managers are all available via email, and the one I’ve been working with the closest for some 10 years, well, we text. Sometimes at 10pm. She does not use her phone while driving. I, as a client, am harder to get hold of by voice than any other means, anyway. Not reality in most of business. Its so bad that 1/3 of the time if I fail to answer the phone (on hands free system, btw) our more asshole customers will then call our sales manager with their usually picayune request, reminding the manager the reason he/she was calling them was because they couldn’t get hold of me. It’s because most people are impatient jerkoffs that I bristle when I’m lectured to “Put down the phone and drive”. Unrealistic request. ---
**Author:** ![eenerms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@eenerms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eenerms)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/207 "2016-03-31T15:00:01Z")
So calling my 81 yo mother, who is sharp as a tack, and tell her you are the IRS and will be sueing her. She in turn called the Attorney General and police. Scammers are the devils spawn. ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/208 "2016-03-31T15:36:43Z")
> [@eenerms](#): > > So calling my 81 yo mother, who is sharp as a tack, and tell her you are the IRS and will be sueing her. She in turn called the Attorney General and police. Scammers are the devils spawn. Just be glad that she was smart enough to realize it was a con. My grandparents were called last year by someone claiming to be my cousin, saying he was in jail and needed money, and they were about to give him their credit card information (yes, it makes no sense). Luckily, my grandmother was so shocked that she was repeating the things said to her on the phone, and their live-in caretaker heard it and stopped her before she could give the scammer the information he was requesting. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/209 "2016-03-31T16:10:00Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > Ever hear of gridlock? Nah, people here are too polite to block intersections on purpose. Seriously, it just isn’t done. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/210 "2016-03-31T16:38:46Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Nah, people here are too polite to block intersections on purpose. Seriously, it just isn’t done. And how does complying with your demand to pull INTO the intersection and “wait for traffic to clear” NOT wind up blocking cross traffic? Especially when you’re also insisting that they RUN RED LIGHTS by “do NOT wait until the light turns green to turn”? Relevant remarks of yours bolded in quote below. > [@Chefguy](#): > > Okay, dipshits: when you stop at a stoplight and are planning to make a left turn, **do NOT wait until the light turns green to turn** on your turn signal. See, I only pulled up that close to you because you made no indication you were going to turn; otherwise, I would have left myself enough space to go around on your right. I know that the turn signal noise is somewhere around 300dB and is just unbearable for you, but have some fucking road courtesy. Also, you are clearly not aware that the law allows you to **pull out into the intersection to wait for traffic to clear**. This allows you to do more than just sit through four cycles of light, waiting to make your fucking turn. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/211 "2016-03-31T17:25:27Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > And how does complying with your demand to pull INTO the intersection and “wait for traffic to clear” NOT wind up blocking cross traffic? Especially when you’re also insisting that they RUN RED LIGHTS by “do NOT wait until the light turns green to turn”? > > Relevant remarks of yours bolded in quote below. Don’t wait until the light changes to TURN ON YOUR TURN SIGNAL. Your bold left that bit out. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/212 "2016-03-31T17:28:24Z")
I parsed the relevant sentence as “turn, on your [lane’s] turn signal”. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/213 "2016-03-31T21:06:40Z")
I’ve been on these anti-convulsants for about a week. So far, no seizures, good, but my brain doesn’t work very well at all. I’m having an especially difficult time synthesizing information, which has historically been a strength of mine. On the other hand, I feel a lot more relaxed than usual. Is this what it’s like to be high? I am both useless and slightly apathetic to that fact. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/214 "2016-03-31T21:18:11Z")
I don’t know about how it compares to feeling high, but your brain/body will adjust. It takes a couple weeks to a month or so. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/215 "2016-03-31T21:25:10Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > I don’t know about how it compares to feeling high, but your brain/body will adjust. It takes a couple weeks to a month or so. It’ll be interesting to see what happens in the meantime. I write for a living. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/216 "2016-03-31T21:30:58Z")
There is a woman here trying to reason with her screaming two year old child. Lady, he ain’t listening. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/217 "2016-03-31T22:22:17Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > I parsed the relevant sentence as “turn, on your [lane’s] turn signal”. Either I wrote it poorly, or your reading skills are really crap. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/218 "2016-03-31T22:34:01Z")
Possible “temporary hiccup caused by cold meds” didn’t even cross your mind? Fine then, we’ll go with you needing to write that more clearly, especially with other sentiments expressed in your rant. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/219 "2016-03-31T23:15:26Z")
> [@Calatin](#): > > Just be glad that she was smart enough to realize it was a con. One of Mom’s older (late '70s) cousins is still getting calls from the people claiming to be “from Windows”. This time they wanted to let this cousin know that her “Microsoft” was about to expire, and she needed to take immediate action. Apparently this scammer wanted her to do something on the computer, but became frustrated and hung up on her. And she’s still not convinced it was a scam. \>.\< ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599/220 "2016-04-01T05:42:25Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I’m having an especially difficult time synthesizing information, which has historically been a strength of mine. On the other hand, I feel a lot more relaxed than usual. Is this what it’s like to be high? According to my mother, who finally stopped trying to push alcohol on me when I described those as the initial symptoms of my it’s-not-MS, it’s like being “oops, a little bit tipsy, heehee”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marchs-malevolent-maledictions-minirants/747599.md?page=12)