# Marge Gets a Job; Grandpa's diseases **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 22, 2006, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marge-gets-a-job-grandpas-diseases/345663 "2006-02-22T18:49:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2006, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marge-gets-a-job-grandpas-diseases/345663/1 "2006-02-22T18:49:06Z")
Last night I saw the Simpsons episode “Marge Gets a Job”. In it, there’s a scene where Grandpa is babysitting Maggie, who wants a bottle. Grandpa decides she’s sick and is looking through some archaic medical text, trying to identify her mystery illness, and comes up with a long list of obscure & hilarious diseases. Anybody have the transcript? All I can remember is Staggers, Dropsy, Washmaid’s Knee and Poor Man’s Gout. ---
**Author:** ![RGillen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/848f3c/32.png) [@RGillen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RGillen)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2006, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marge-gets-a-job-grandpas-diseases/345663/2 "2006-02-22T18:54:20Z")
From the [The Simpsons Archive](http://www.snpp.com/episodes/9F05a) > [@](#): > > Dropsy > Grip > Scruffula > Vapors > Jungle rot > Andy fever (?) > Poor man’s gout > Housemaid’s knee > Climactic poobo (?) > Staggers > Dum-dum fever ---
**Author:** ![edwino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marge-gets-a-job-grandpas-diseases/345663/3 "2006-02-22T19:15:55Z")
Dropsy is the old name for edema from congestive heart failure. Still see quite a lot of this, and some of the therapies are just as old as the name (namely digitalis). We have a bit more sophistication in treating it now, though. Grip is the flu. In fact, the Spanish for flu is still “gripe/gripa.” Scrofula is a tubercular disease characterized by bilateral cervical lymphadenopathy. You can still get it. Vapors is what Southern women used to get when put under emotional duress. Vasovagal syncope or something like it. Jungle rot is a cellulitis. Unclear of the etiology. Probably staphylococcal/streptococcal. Housemaid’s knee, or prepatellar bursitis, is still a fairly common general medicine/orthopedics/family practice diagnosis. No idea about the rest. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2006, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marge-gets-a-job-grandpas-diseases/345663/4 "2006-02-22T19:19:29Z")
> [@](#): > > Vapors is what Southern women used to get when put under emotional duress. Vasovagal syncope or something like it. Actually, it makes for a much better line in GWTW if you assume that vapors=farts. “Oh, I got the vapors somethin’ fierce!” ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2006, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marge-gets-a-job-grandpas-diseases/345663/5 "2006-02-22T19:21:39Z")
I think staggers is a livestock disease. ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2006, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marge-gets-a-job-grandpas-diseases/345663/6 "2006-02-22T19:22:48Z")
I wonder if “Andy fever” was really Dengue Fever. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2006, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marge-gets-a-job-grandpas-diseases/345663/7 "2006-02-22T19:30:45Z")
Reminds me of the ready-made obituary for the _Onion_ publisher: "Onion Publisher Emeritus T. Herman Zweibel passed away of [CHOOSE ONE OR MORE] autoerotic impaling, colonic bursitis, consumption, elephantiasis, explosive urethral exsanguination, gangrene, gout, gunshot wounds, ingrown brains, leprosy, mange, plague, pneumonia, quinsy, rheumatism, robot assault, scrofula, spontaneous pan-corporeal organ rejection, state-ordered electrocution, transdermal vomiting, typhus and/or worms, on the night of [INSERT DATE] after an extraordinarily long illness. He was [132]. In lieu of flowers, donations may be sent to the M. Prescott Zweibel Memorial Foundation For The Treatment And Cure Of Homosexual Youths." [http://www.theonion.com/content/node/25935](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/25935) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2006, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marge-gets-a-job-grandpas-diseases/345663/8 "2006-02-22T19:59:15Z")
That’s nuthin’. Check out some titles by the grindcore band [Carcass](http://myspot.neteze.com/~space/cds/carcass.htm): _Genital Grinder Carbonized Eyesockets Frenzied Detruncation Vomited Anal Tract Fermenting Innards Microwaved Uterogestation Pungent Excruciation Manifestation of Verrucose Urethra Mucopurulence Excretor Excoriating Abdominal Emanation Embryonic Necropsy and Devourment Swarming Vulgar Mass of Infected Virulency Crepitating Bowel Erosion Necroticism: Descanting the Insalubrious Incarnated Solvent Abuse Lavaging Expectorate of Lysergide Composition Hepatic Tissue Fermentation_ I don’t know what half of those mean, and I’m not sure I _want_ to know! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2006, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marge-gets-a-job-grandpas-diseases/345663/9 "2006-02-22T20:21:21Z")
> [@edwino](#): > > Jungle rot is a cellulitis. Unclear of the etiology. Probably staphylococcal/streptococcal. I always used the term jungle rot to refer to our old friend, [Tinea Cruris](http://dermnetnz.org/fungal/tinea-cruris.html)