# Mariah fucking Carey must die immediately **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 21, 2000, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335 "2000-07-21T10:24:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2000, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/21 "2000-07-21T15:12:24Z")
So one mediocre, forgettable singer does a poor cover of a crappy, overwrought soundtrack song by another mediocre, forgettable singer? Big deal. The Academy Awards lost any shred of credibility they had left when they gave the Oscar for Best Song to that piece of immediately forgettable shit by Phil Collins over, at the very least, the vastly superior “Blame Canada!” by Trey Parker and Mark Shaiman, and “Save Me,” by Aimee Mann. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2000, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/22 "2000-07-21T16:24:38Z")
What we should do is wire up her corpse with dynamite and then at her funeral when all the other no-talent diva wannabes (Whitney, Brittney, Christina et al) come and check her casket to make sure she’s really dead we light the fuse and let them have it. Let’s see Mariah’s career progression: Teen queen Whitney wanna be. Career going nowhere Marrys her producer (Tommy Mottola) Hubby becomes record label chief Mariah’s career revives Divorces hubby Cultivates an image that’s so scuzzy even a dead goat felcher wouldn’t touch her. I wouldn’t fuck that no-talent bitch with someone elses dick. Keith ---
**Author:** ![Falula\_Guinea\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@Falula\_Guinea\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falula_Guinea_Pig)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2000, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/23 "2000-07-21T16:34:20Z")
Coldfire - thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!! It’s about time someone mentioned what a stupid bitch Maria Carey is! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2000, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/24 "2000-07-21T16:55:09Z")
Must admit I’m having a little trouble with the concept of anyone being able to ruin something by Phil Collins. I’d do her. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2000, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/25 "2000-07-21T17:28:53Z")
Coldfire, Tommy Mottola paid Mariah Carey millions of dollars for her CDs AND shagged her. And married her. I’m not sure taking him out and shooting him is enough. Crucifixion may be in order. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2000, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/26 "2000-07-21T17:41:32Z")
Coldfire, I have nothing to add, because you are absolutely right. BTW, Mariah does NOT have an 8 octave range [http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/carey.htm](http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/carey.htm) But it doesn’t matter, no matter what her range is, she should be shot. I hate the bitch. ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2000, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/27 "2000-07-21T17:52:13Z")
Yes, ahem, I’ve been trying to hold back on this: Mariah Carey butchered the song Against All Odds by Phil Collins? Why would you listen to ANY version of this song by ANY artist? ---
**Author:** ![Grendel69](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7bcc69/32.png) [@Grendel69](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grendel69)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2000, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/28 "2000-07-21T19:33:43Z")
Does it bother anyone that this woman has no pores on her skin whatsoever??? Spooky!!! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2000, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/29 "2000-07-21T21:01:47Z")
I only can stand one song of Mariah’s, that is, um, her version of O Holy Night, and that’s only because it’s one of my favorite holiday hymns. And I actually like Collins…_ducks_ But yeah, I agree, Mariah’s an idiot. I can’t BELIEVE she remade that song…what is her deal? Whitney’s pretty bad too, if you ask me, they deserve each other. ---
**Author:** ![SterlingNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@SterlingNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SterlingNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2000, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/30 "2000-07-21T23:53:53Z")
> [@](#): > > _from Snopes_ > Unless she can sound like Barry White at the low end of her register, her high end must be audible only to dogs. I wouldn’t discount that theory right away. My friends dog used to cover her ears as if in pain during Mariah Carey songs. Then PETA stormed in and destroyed the CD. ---
**Author:** ![Amok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f17d59/32.png) [@Amok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amok)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/31 "2000-07-22T00:09:58Z")
> [@](#): > > _Coldfire said:_ > Collins, of course, deserves an asskicking as well for letting her fuck up the song. It’s not like there wasn’t any evidence before: or does Phil really think Mariah did a good job covering Can’t Live (if living is without you)? I probably shouldn’t ask for facts in a rant, but… Do you know if Collins did give her permission to cover the song? It wouldn’t suprise me if he did, and that’s probably what happened (I’m sure Phil enjoys money as much as the next guy), but it is [possible](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_324b.html) that she recorded and released it without his permission. Anyways, just curiosity on my part. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/32 "2000-07-22T00:36:27Z")
Thanks, Coldfire. I’ve been working with psychotherapists for several years now, in an attempt to suppress my white-hot hatred for MC Whiner. Now it’s all come flooding back to the surface. Thank Goddess I don’t own any guns. Anyway, I think what I currently hate most about her is that VH-1 commercial, with her in the swimming pool. She’s wearing shoes. Not just shoes–high heels. WTF? WTF? WTF? Swimming with shoes on is _not_ sexy. But I bet it _will_ make guys think “Hey, if this broad is stupid enough to wear shoes in a swimming pool, I bet if I bought her a new pair, she’d blow me.” I’m no brainiac, but Jeeeeeeezus Keeeeeeeerist, she makes me feel like a rocket scientist. ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/33 "2000-07-22T00:55:07Z")
[dumbass] Mariah fucking Carey? Mariah’s fucking Drew Carey? _ **EWWWWWWWWWW** _ [/dumbass] Now… could someone please fetch a robe made of boarbristle so this annoying, slutty, sparrow-squicker (hey, alliteration!) can stop nauseating the discerning public? Thank you. ::gets on loudspeaker:: “Cleanup on aisle five! Somebody vomited all over the “Butterfly” display… again!” ---
**Author:** ![speakeasy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@speakeasy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/speakeasy)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/34 "2000-07-22T01:53:49Z")
I heard all I need to know about this brainless twit when I read her reaction to a reporter’s comment about starving Somalians. sHE SAID something to the effect of, “Yes, it’s so sad about those people but at least they stay so nice and thin. You can never be too skinny”. What more do we need to hear? In fact, the last real brawl I had with my brother was when he insisted on playing her goddam noise OVER and OVER until I snapped. We discussed the issue in detail and at some length. Then I bought him another stereo and he paid for the bay window. I don’t think even he really likes her singing, he was just in heat. ---
**Author:** ![speakeasy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@speakeasy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/speakeasy)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/35 "2000-07-22T01:57:39Z")
I just took a screwdriver and popped the caps lock key off my keyboard. ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/36 "2000-07-22T01:59:25Z")
[http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/artists.htm#jordan](http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/artists.htm#jordan) > [@](#): > > Carey On Starving > > **Claim:** In a 1996 interview, Mariah Carey said the following: > > “When I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean, I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” > > **Status:** False. > > **Synopsis:** The quote attributed to Mariah Carey is a completely fabricated one, part of > a parody interview with Carey which appeared on a website known as “Cupcake.” While I agree it’s something I can imagine her saying… unfortunately, it’s not true. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/37 "2000-07-22T02:00:16Z")
Actually, the whole thing about her comments about the starving kids and the death of King Hussein were Urban Legends…I think there’s something about it at Snopes. ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/38 "2000-07-22T02:01:19Z")
Yep… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/39 "2000-07-22T02:19:53Z")
While we’re all for truth and correct quotes and facts and all, can’t we make an exception in this case and attribute the quotes to her anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Obvious\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Obvious\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obvious_Guy)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335/40 "2000-07-22T02:38:12Z")
Stop the press!!! AHhhhhhhh, don’t talk about Mariah like that!!! She is a Godess, how dare you blaspheme her!!! Shhhesh you people got nothing better to do?? Leaver her alone!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mariah-fucking-carey-must-die-immediately/26335.md?page=3)