# Marine's father returns condolence letter to Obama **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 9, 2015, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396 "2015-01-09T14:51:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/21 "2015-01-09T19:26:46Z")
If your friends can’t call you names, who can? Have a beer, Margaret. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/22 "2015-01-09T20:08:55Z")
> [@bup](#): > > If your friends can’t call you names, who can? I’m with you on that one. In my circle of friends we often call each other names and pick on each other; mostly in a friendly manner but not 100%. It’s one of the reasons I call them “friends” and not just “people around me”. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/23 "2015-01-09T20:31:11Z")
Going just off my memory, it seems that military members frequently complain of too restrictive rules of engagement whenever a Democrat is in the White House. At least, ISTR that charge being leveled at Clinton. It might just be confirmation bias, but I don’t seem to recall many ROE complaints thrown at Bush. For those with more military knowledge and experience – is the complaint that the ROE are too restrictive under Obama reasonable? Did he require onerous ROEs that put US forces at unnecessary risk? Does the President typically even get involved in details of the ROE, or does he just kind of set out some general principles and let the Secretary of Defense come up with the details? ---
**Author:** ![Claverhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Claverhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claverhouse)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/24 "2015-01-09T21:22:23Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Man, those comments attached to this one make me sick. They seem to think the dead soldiers under Bush aren’t as dead or something, because “the librul media” didn’t make as big a deal? Or because those soldiers were able to kill more “Moslem jihadists” first? I can’t figure these people out. Comment: _Obama is a nihilist, who delights in destroying lives and things_. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/25 "2015-01-10T06:59:34Z")
If he hand-wrote that response on the condolence letter and sent it back to the White House, how does it come to pass that he is in a position to distribute the letter to anyone else? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/26 "2015-01-10T07:10:40Z")
Maybe he scanned it before he sent it out, like, "hey, check this out? > [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > If I find any aspect of someone “unpalatable” I have no desire to be their friend. If I ditched every friend who had “unpalatable aspects”, I’d have no friends. (Besides, who wants to hang out with someone who agrees with them all the time?) And the way I look it is that **I** can call my friends names. **You** can’t. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/27 "2015-01-10T07:49:00Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Maybe he scanned it before he sent it out, like, "hey, check this out? I suspect that’s exactly what happened. Far be it from me to dictate how a man should grieve the loss of his son; therefore, I will forbear to offer any explicit commentary regarding the appropriateness of such distribution. I will say that his behavior does not strike me as doing anything to ennoble his son’s sacrifice. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/28 "2015-01-10T07:53:08Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > If I find any aspect of someone “unpalatable” I have no desire to be their friend. _Any_ aspect?! Whoa. Do you have many friends? ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/29 "2015-01-10T08:05:39Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > I’m with you on that one. In my circle of friends we often call each other names and pick on each other; mostly in a friendly manner but not 100%. It’s one of the reasons I call them “friends” and not just “people around me”. Who else but a bosom buddy would notice the obvious flaws? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/30 "2015-01-10T08:18:06Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > If he hand-wrote that response on the condolence letter and sent it back to the White House, how does it come to pass that he is in a position to distribute the letter to anyone else? What? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/31 "2015-01-10T08:37:33Z")
What’s confusing about my question? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/32 "2015-01-10T08:45:14Z")
Self explanatory I thought. Why can’t he have hand written the response, scanned the letter, and then sent the original to the White House? Therefore he’s free to distribute his response electronically. Maybe I’m daft. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/33 "2015-01-10T09:11:13Z")
The thing is, I can’t think of any motive for doing that that isn’t despicable. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/34 "2015-01-10T09:14:10Z")
OK. Yeah. Gotcha. I thought you were talking about the logistics, not the morality. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/35 "2015-01-10T09:21:45Z")
. . . And that’s as good a reason as any to hope that the story is apocryphal. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/36 "2015-01-10T13:02:17Z")
> [@Bayard](#): > > … For those with more military knowledge and experience – is the complaint that the ROE are too restrictive under Obama reasonable? Did he require onerous ROEs that put US forces at unnecessary risk? Does the President typically even get involved in details of the ROE, or does he just kind of set out some general principles and let the Secretary of Defense come up with the details? I served entirely under Reagan. I was already in the exiting-the-service process when Bush I was inaugurated. While almost all US forces were not in combat most of that era, some folks including me were involved in low-intensity near-war much of that time. And yes, we used to bitch all the time about damn politicians and their restrictive ROE. At the small-unit level, “If it moves, kill it using any means available every time” sounds like a very sensible way to maximize your personal survival chances. It is, however, a very poor way for a country to optimize the political outcome of whatever they’re fighting for through you. And the lower-intensity the war, the more that’s true. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/37 "2015-01-10T18:45:08Z")
[QUOTE=Bayard] For those with more military knowledge and experience – is the complaint that the ROE are too restrictive under Obama reasonable? [/QUOTE] Yes, that complaint is reasonable. But the same complaint was just as reasonable under Bush. I don’t really think the President has much to do with it. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396/38 "2015-01-10T21:05:38Z")
> [@Bear\_Nenno](#): > > Yes, that complaint is reasonable. But the same complaint was just as reasonable under Bush. I don’t really think the President has much to do with it. And also under Truman, Ike, LBJ and Nixon. I think the notion of fairly unrestricted warfare stopped after WWII. Korea was our first proxy war with the USSR and China; Bombing Pyongyang would have escalated things to possible nuclear confrontation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marines-father-returns-condolence-letter-to-obama/709396.md?page=1)